Forbidden
by blackrosedrippingred
Summary: Set in a time reminiscent of the Feudal Era, Sasuke, a palace guard, and Sakura, the Emperor's daughter, must navigate the difficulties of a forbidden love while the threat of war hangs over their nation. (Derived from Chapter Four of the Reflective Anthology).
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome, welcome! This story started from a prompt on another piece of work (Reflective - Chapter 4). I fell so in love with the concept and couldn't contain the story to a single chapter, thus this was born. If you'd like, feel free to read that chapter in Reflective, however it is by no means mandatory and will be included within this story, most likely with a few minor alterations. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _"Are you ready?"_

 _Though the disembodied voice seemed to echo around him, there was nothing but a pitch black expanse before his eyes. He took a few steps forward and heard the crunch of dirt beneath his shoes._

 _"Are you ready? We have to run."_

 _How could he run anymore? They'd been running all night, trying to escape something that seemed inevitable. He was jerked forward by a sharp pressure at his wrist. He spurred his legs on, trying to keep up with the person that must be in front of him._

 _"Close your eyes, Sasuke. Don't look, just keep running. I've got you."_

 _His heart pumped furiously and his legs ached. He swallowed gulps of air as he fought to move. His foot caught on something in the darkness and he felt himself falling down, slipping further, winding deeper, succumbing forever -_

* * *

Throwing the covers aside Sasuke shot out of bed, the tendrils of his nightmare clinging desperately to his psyche. He paced the small room, the cold stone floor numbing his bare feet, while his fellow soldiers slept. How many restless nights? What was the point of sleep anymore? Throwing on his uniform, he stepped quietly outside of the barracks and found himself wandering to the garden. The chill in the air and the snow on the ground announced winter was well on its way and he was grateful for the extra layers his clothing awarded him. The sun had not yet made it over the ridges of the mountains but the sky cast enough light that he could see the path before him.

He stopped by the large, frozen pond situated at the epicenter of the Emperor's garden. It had been many months prior that they had moved the koi fish to a suitable tank inside the palace. They had been put under the care of the Emperor's daughter and seemed to be thriving all the more because of it.

"Uzumaki-san?" Sasuke turned promptly to find her standing on the snow covered path in a starkly colorful robe reminiscent of spring, "I thought that was you."

He bowed low and rose slowly in respect.

"Perhaps we should get you back inside, Haruno-sama," he made a small gesture in the direction of her quarters, but she shook her head.

"I'm afraid I'm unable to sleep," she looked into his eyes then and smiled with an exuberance he doubted anyone could rival, "I do not do well in Winter," she kneeled by the edge of the water where a smattering of foliage once bordered the lake, "Much like the flowers, I find myself wilting in this weather, trapped by the cold, unable to thrive outside," and yet, he thought, she managed to carry herself with no less grace. But, he supposed that was largely due to her upbringing, "Do you enjoy books Uzumaki-san?"

"I've not read many," he kept his distance from her, adverse to her question, merely observing as she glanced her fingers over the ice.

"I find that I read more during Winter," she began to rise, prompting him to rush forward and offer his hand, "Oh, thank you." Her soft, thin fingers gripped his tight as he pulled her up steadily. She dusted snow off of her delicate robe, leaving only damp patches where it had soaked in. He released her hand and she walked forward, keeping to the barely visible trail. Sasuke stayed within a reasonable pace, following her up the path until she paused by one of the benches resting beside a willow tree.

"Wait," he stalled her from sitting down with a gesture of his hand. She crooked a delicate brow at him, but then he reached down and shoved the snow off the stone so that she might have a partially dry seat.

"A gentleman, too," she sat and smoothed out her skirts, a soft blush coming to grace her cheeks. As he admired her, he wondered what she meant by that word 'too.' Sakura crossed her legs and rested her chin on her hand as she watched the sun rise from behind the mountains. As light began to filter into their frozen world, so it seemed sound did as well. Though they were both silent, birds began to chirp, singing the song of morning. Sakura's gaze was entranced by the way the sun caressed her empire, but Sasuke paid far more attention to much smaller details. While she watched the snow glisten and sparkle as rays of light hit patches, he noted the way her porcelain skin took on an ethereal glow under the sun.

He had heard the songs written about her beauty, the sonnets, the odes, long before he had ever seen her. He had never believed them to be true. How could they be? Then he saw her for the first time. Sasuke had been working at the palace for a full month before he'd had the pleasure of seeing her. As it was, she happened to be on the other side of the grounds, passing under the open halls of the palace to avoid the rain. He was stationed outside of her father's quarters that afternoon, diligent and strict as ever. Yet, he found himself craning for a better look. He wished she would turn her head so that he might see more of her beautiful visage. He managed only to glimpse the curve of her lips as she laughed at something a courtier said.

The first time he looked at her, really looked at her, he was presiding over a banquet with an honored guest of the Emperor's. She was breathtaking and he had wondered in that moment not the validity of those dedications to her beauty, but rather why they had all failed to do her justice. Sakura had dressed in gold silks that night, with her fabrics winking in the lights. He watched her dance and twirl around the room for longer than he cared to count, stopping only when her eyes finally rested on him and she smiled.

"Some mornings I wish the sun would not rise," she spoke so softly, as if she could keep their quiet seclusion intact, "I prefer the intimacy of nighttime and early mornings. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Of course," he answered automatically, too quickly, and she caught him with a sly grin.

"I asked you a question Uzumaki-san. Do not agree unless it is how you truly feel."

"I agree, Haruno-sama," he said carefully, glancing between her and the palace where it seemed life had just begun to awaken.

"And yet?" She prompted, turning to face him completely, vivid green eyes boring into his.

"And yet, I do not care for the silence of the night. The business of the days are a welcome distraction," he set his jaw tight, adamant that he would say no more, even if she commanded him.

"I suppose intimacy can often be synonymous with loneliness," she murmured, looking back to her domain before rising from her seat, "Good day, Uzumaki-san."

He watched her go, retreating to her chambers, and waited until she was entirely out of ear shot,

"Good day, Haruno-sama."

* * *

Sakura settled herself at the table by her window where she had left her books out. She traversed the lines of her acquired medical journals but found she could not keep her concentration for more than a few words. Recently, Sakura's attentions had become diverted by that guard. She had seen him train on the grounds with the other soldiers during the summer before last. He had commanded her sights with his fluid movements and quiet ferocity. Most notably, she was transfixed by the mystery in his dark eyes. Whenever she found him around the palace, she always made a point to speak with him, even if he did not always have something to say.

She smiled to herself, he wasn't terrible to look upon either. A knock sounded at her door and she attempted to right herself before her father strode in. A small group of soldiers followed him.

"How are you fairing this morning?" he stopped just short of hugging her, placing his hands on her arms and squeezing slightly.

"Well, father. And yourself?"

"I have experienced better days," he began to pace the length of her room, "We have discovered a number of spies within the ranks of our soldiers. They watch us for the Akatsuki. One of them was a guard stationed to you. They will be dealt with appropriately. In the meantime, the Uzumaki will be at your door."

"Are we safe?" Her breath hitched in her throat.

"For now," her father peered out the window, catching something and nodding in response, "I will keep us safe."

She watched her father retreat with his soldiers and caught a glimpse of Sasuke's back as they exited. She rushed forward before the doors closed. He turned at the sound of her hand hitting the wood.

"Uzumaki-San, please come inside. It is too cold for you to be out here."

"I am grateful for the concern but I am to guard your door," he sounded as though he were reciting a prepared speech.

"Would it not be better to guard me in here, where it is warm?" She swallowed thickly and hoped he might chock her flushed cheeks up to the bite in the air, "If that is not reason enough, then I am bored and require company."

She swore she saw him smirk before he settled into a concentrated stoicism.

"You think me better company than your ladies in waiting?"

"You are more entertaining than they," she smiles, "Please, come inside," he seemed to consider her for a moment before giving a brief nod and following her within. She was right, it was much warmer in her chambers and she had not even ignited the fire yet. He stood stiffly in the center of her room until she beckoned him over to her table. Sasuke occupied the seat opposite her, but would not take his eyes away from the window, diligent as ever, "Did you know that a doctor in India perfected a tensile string that's used in most stitching procedures today?"

"No," twice in a day, Sasuke found himself floored by the unexpectedness of her questions. At her silence, he snapped his eyes back to hers.

"It's incredibly fascinating," she pushed one of the scriptures toward him. He gave her an odd look, opening his mouth once more, perhaps to question her, but she spoke before he could formulate the words, "Indulge me. Please."

He gave a short nod and took up the pages, beginning at the top and following the words down. Sasuke knew she was watching him in a most peculiar way but he could not bring himself to react in such a manor that showed he held favor with her interests. To be plain, he thought the text was entirely too dull. He recalled the tales of valor and adventure that his brother had read to him in their younger years and felt that held more fascination. However, he had to respect her ability to take pleasure in such a subject, let alone comprehend it.

"What do you think?" Her soft voice broke the silence; she seemed to have noticed his eyes lingering at the bottom of the page.

"I'm afraid I have no opinion," he shook his head slightly, thumbing the parchment, "It is not a subject I am well versed on."

"Not many people are," she smiled, "I suppose I have the luxury of studying whatever catches my attention."

Like you, she thought.

"What is your opinion on it?" He countered, watching with curiosity the way her already vibrant eyes grew brighter when she toed the line of this subject.

"I'm afraid I, too, have no opinion. It is difficult to form one when I have not experienced it personally. However, I do find the practice of medicine fascinating and I should like to think that if I were a surgeon, I'd find this new product very helpful. They say, due to the strength of the string, it has cut the time of healing in half. It does not break easily, so it is difficult for the wound to become infected."

"Do you think you have the will for surgery?" he doubted very much that she would do well operating on an injured person, and so he couldn't keep the words in his mouth.

"I would like to find out," challenge flared within her as a small smirk beset her charming features. He held his tongue, silently daring her until he noticed her face fall. She was quick to pick it up, though, "Alas, I am not eligible for such a profession."

Sasuke caught himself then as the question hung at the tip of his tongue. The rest of the world came in clear. He'd been so focused on the curve of her smile, the shade of her eyes and the happiness hidden beneath there. He'd been so focused, he forgot why she was dressed in the finest silks, why her room was so large and decorated, and why she'd spoken with desire instead of intent. She was meant for a different life.

Sakura's eyes moved to the window where she watched as the snow began to fall and everything around them fell silent. She rested her chin on her fist as she'd done earlier, looking far more morose in that moment. Sasuke felt something seep under his skin then, a quiet chill that disturbed his thoughts. It occurred to him that despite it all, he might feel sympathy for her. Despite her luxuries, privileges, and standing, she was a person. She had hopes and dreams like he once did, before it all.

"It was not my intention to make you sad," he paused, scrambling for some semblance of an apology that held more than 'I'm sorry.'

"Of course not," she lowered her eyes, passing over the books between them, before lifting them to look at Sasuke.

"I believe you would have success in that field, if - ," his voice lifted until he lost his words within her gaze.

"If I had the opportunity?" He nodded and a flush of pink graced her cheeks.

"Perhaps one day," he fisted his hands tightly as though it might keep him from speaking any more.

"Perhaps," she laughed lightly, tapping her fingers on the table, "Did you want to become a soldier?"

"I always knew I would be," his eyes flicked to the window, unnerved by her unyielding gaze.

"But did you want to be?"

"Yes," given the circumstances, he added quietly.

"Was it because of your parents? The Uzumakis are well known for their valor," she grinned, "I've met Naruto-san on a few occasions. I admit, I don't see much resemblance," she made a small gesture towards Sasuke, "In features or personality."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded curtly, "I have heard that many times."

"Was it your parents? Or was it your brother's influence?"

"Both," Sasuke began to fidget, adjusting himself in the chair.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" She smirked, cocking her head to the side, "Or is it the topic I've chosen?"

"Both," he frowned. Sasuke began to wish that the Emperor had chosen someone else to look after his daughter.

"Why?" She leaned forward, prodding him with the language of her body, the fierceness of her eyes, and the bluntness of her words.

"You ask too many questions," his brows furrowed and he leaned away from her.

"I could never sit still when I was a child, especially when I had lessons of etiquette. I know how to behave properly, but at times I have the decision not to," again she smirked as he squirmed beneath her gaze, "How unfortunate for you that I've chosen not to be proper in this moment."

Sasuke froze; she was teasing him, mercilessly, too. Had she nothing better to do? A sharp knock came to the door and Sasuke shot to his feet. Surely he would come into trouble because he had obeyed this indulgent woman, but as he went to open the door, he found only one of the kitchen servants holding a tray of food. She walked silently to where Sakura sat and placed the platter beside the books. Sakura thanked her with an innocent smile and the servant left. Sasuke turned back from the door to see Sakura watching him intently.

"Join me. I suspect you missed breakfast this morning given how early I found you in the gardens."

Against his better judgement, he resumed his seat facing her as she pulled the coverings off her food. Steam arose from the freshly cooked meats and roasted vegetables, alluring Sasuke. Sakura began to cut away pieces, pushing them into a pile. When she had finished she offered him the fork. He shook his head.

"I will eat tonight."

"I am not offering Uzumaki-san," she held the fork out to him again. Sasuke held his tongue and took the knife instead, stabbing it through a piece of chicken. Sakura waited until he had placed the food on his tongue to begin eating. They ate in silence, though Sakura continued to push different things to what was becoming his side of the plate. He tried not to watch her, not to look at her, especially when she caught him, but he found it very hard to avert his eyes. All her delicate sensibilities and soft features, yet she ate like many of the men he roomed with in the barracks. She attacked her food as one might an army, and showed no shame for it. Somehow, she still managed to look beautiful as she tried to break off a piece of chewy meat with her teeth, laughing all the while.

Finally, they had cleared the plate, and truthfully, Sasuke had not found it hard. Skipping breakfast had made him particularly famished and he found that the food they served her was far superior to what he ate; they spared no expense on seasonings.

"Thank you," she patted her full lips with the cloth on the platter and set it down on the table, "They always give me too much food."

Sakura took up a red, prickly ball and twirled it in her fingers.

"Though I didn't have a choice, you're welcome," he responded, watching as she peeled back the spiked skin, revealing an almost translucent flesh.

"Have you had one of these before?" She asked, wielding the small, now naked ball. Sasuke shook his head, "They come from China. They're called lychees. It's a popular fruit there and I came across them while we travelled one summer. It was so hot and they were so refreshing. I grow them here, but I've yet to produce one as sweet or succulent as that first one I consumed," Sakura offered him the fruit and he took it without question. When he popped it in his mouth, she picked up another one and began peeling again. He chewed and found that the skin gave way easily, but a hard pit lay in the center, causing him to almost spit it out. Sakura laughed, noting the look on his face, "I was surprised the first time I ate one, too. I did not know what lay at the center."

He chewed around the pit, tearing away the sweet, clear pieces of fruit and savoring the juices that gushed forward. When he finished, he pulled the pit out of his mouth and left it on their finished plate. Sakura took only part of the fruit in her mouth, moving around the pit until she had cleared it completely.

"I have never had anything so sweet," he spoke with a sense of marvel.

"It is my favorite fruit, so harsh and foreboding on the outside, but utterly opposite inside," she began to peel another fruit, eyes glinting in a way that he found mischievous. He felt himself falling into a feeling so dangerous that it enveloped him whole, awoke his mind, and kindled a fire he hadn't known he possessed. Why did she look at him that way? She appeared to want to possess him, strip him of his armor and burrow within his deepest secrets. He wasn't afraid of her, rather fascinated unfortunately, but he felt something warning him to leave, to keep away from her then.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Haruno-sama, but I should resume my post now," he rose from the table and she didn't stop him. She watched him go, keeping silent until he was at the door.

"Thank you for the company," she said quietly. He stepped outside and shut the door behind him. In the cold crisp air he felt like he could finally breathe again, like time had resumed and he was no longer captivated by her presence. He shook his fingers through his hair and ran his hands down his face as the snow blanketed the world around him.

* * *

Sakura found herself restless that night. The fire burned heartily, warming her chambers, but she could not find sleep. Somebody new was posted within her sitting room should she need anything, but the fact that it was not Sasuke irked her terribly. Try as she might, she could not cast out the depth of his eyes nor the strength of his features that plagued her so. He was a handsome man and fascinating in his obscurity. She wondered how it was for Naruto to have grown up with a brother so different. Naruto was so exuberant and shared Sakura's enthusiasm in all things, but it was difficult to obtain a response in anything from Sasuke. She turned to the other side of her bed, unaware that Sasuke was having a similar issue with sleep just on the other side of the palace grounds.

* * *

Like tiny threads woven through his body, linked within his sinew and bone, he felt something pulling him from another fitful slumber. He sat up straight, the echo of Itachi's voice prominent in his mind, calling Sasuke's name like a prayer. He shook the covers off, letting the dream fall away with them. Taking up his uniform, he donned it promptly and took off to the gardens. The world was almost pitch black, only a thin crescent moon and a smattering of stars hung over the frozen grounds. He crossed the length of the path surrounding the lake until he'd almost worn away the fresh snow that lay there.

He was growing tired of these memories that had become gnarled and twisted into near unrecognizable content. It was becoming increasingly difficult to trust the allure of sleep these days. With a despondent exhale, Sasuke seated himself at the bench beside the willow tree and watched the sun rise.

Gradually, the world around him came to life. The birds tweeted merrily, groundskeepers began their rounds, and the Emperor's daughter emerged from her rooms. She spotted him and smiled so brilliantly he thought the sun ought to be shamed.

"Good morning, Uzumaki-san," she had the fabric of her skirts gathered in her hands to allow her longer strides in her effort to reach him.

"Good morning, Haruno-sama," out of courtesy, Sasuke stood and offered her his seat.

"Will you sit with me?" she would not sit until he complied with a simple nod and seated himself beside her. "How did you sleep? I suppose it was not well, as you seem to have been out here for some time."

"You slept better than I," he assured her, training his eyes to the icy lake, though he could see her probing gaze in his peripheral.

"Do you think so?" she asked, tugging at the hems of her gloves.

"Did you not?" he meant to spare her a brief glance. Instead, he lost himself to the depths of her verdant orbs and the light that seemed not to reflect, but rather emanate from the recesses there.

"No," she responded gently, as though it were a trivial thing, "I found I had to exhaust myself into the wee hours of morning before I was able to sleep."

"Are you troubled?" Sasuke wasn't entirely sure why he was asking. As a guard, it was his duty to defend her against any physical troubles that sought to harm her. However, he suspected she was not plagued by physical matters. Emotions, issues of the heart, intangible things that he could not grasp - well, that was not his area of proficiency.

"I suspect so," she trailed off then, breaking their eye contact to stare into the horizon, "No matter," she came to her feet abruptly then, causing Sasuke to shoot to his. She laughed softly, "Uzumaki-san, you are more a gentleman than my suitors."

"It is my job, Haruno-sama," he evaded her eyes when she took hold of his arm and led him down the path to her chambers.

"With respect to your training, I doubt that is what they taught you to become a soldier," she gave an intonation to her words that bordered on humorous. Rather than give an inane response, Sasuke kept his mouth shut tight. He hadn't learned manners by training with fellow guards. His mother had taught him from a young age to rise when a lady rises, to offer his seat when she came, and to give his respect to her in every manner.

* * *

"I do not know your name," Sakura said suddenly, fingers hovering over one of her chess pieces.

"Uzumaki is fine," Sasuke said stiffly. She tapped her index finger on the head of the rook, watching him with curiosity.

"Do you know my name?"

Sometimes Sasuke wondered if she was aware that she spoke her thoughts so loud and freely.

"Yes," his brows furrowed. He doubted anyone in the Emperor's land didn't know her name, nor the reason for it.

"Say it," she took her fingers away from the board and leaned back in her chair. Sasuke swallowed; was this a trick? What pleasure could she possibly derive from the utterance of her name?

"Sakura," he had spoken the word so often in his mind, fleeting, in passing mostly, but a shiver ran through him as he gave voice to it now. There was a meaning behind it, a weight to the word that hadn't existed before that moment and he felt it resting on his tongue, "You were named Sakura, because your mother had gone into labor beneath a cherry blossom tree and had given birth to you on the first day of spring."

"What is your name?" Sakura seemed unfazed by his knowledge surrounding her birth and he suspected he was not the first to recite her own beginnings to her.

"It is unimportant," he crossed his arms over his chest, and regarded her warily,

"I disagree," she shook her head lightly, "It has become very important to me to know your name. I do not wish to continue to call you Uzumaki-san, most especially if you are to be my guard indefinitely."

Perhaps he was not the first soldier to be subjected to her willful manners, he thought idly.

"My name is Sasuke, but you may call me what you wish, Haruno-sama."

"Sakura, please," she said earnestly, "Sasuke-kun."

He tensed under her open gaze at the sound of a name not uttered in years. It sounded so sweet and unassuming coming from her lips, unbridled of pain or indignity. She would not look away from him, waiting for his secrets to surface. She had to know they were there, woven into his skin, burrowed in his bones. They bubbled under his skin, inspiring the heat of anxiety through his body and the chill of fear in his heart. Did she see it, the flicker of terror in his eyes, the tension in his shoulders? She spoke his name once more, drawing each letter out with a sinfully pleasured smile. His heart stuttered in his chest, but he could not let it show. He dropped his stare to the game between them,

"It is still your turn, Sakura-san."


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay, chapter two! I'm almost overwhelmed by the response the first chapter got; you are all so freaking sweet. And I'm not gonna name names (mainly because I literally can't) but there are some very awesome guest reviewers out there who need to come out of hiding and make an account so I can thank them properly. Anyways, lovelies, I'm enjoying this so much and as I mentioned in Reflective, I couldn't keep the story out of this one so buckle up because we've got a ways to go. Enjoy xo**

* * *

The next morning, upon awaking far too early, Sasuke bypassed the gardens and placed himself directly outside of Sakura's doors to await her. He thought it was only inevitable that she would seek him out before it was time to resume his post and why should he prolong the inevitable? But he found a motivation within him, a keenness to seek _her_ out. It spoke to him, rising above the voice that urged him to keep a safe distance from the Emperor's daughter. She was a danger to him.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun," there was surprise in her voice as she opened the door to find him waiting. He halted as the night guard left her quarters before responding,

"Good morning, Sakura-san."

"How did you sleep?" she led him inside where he noted the fire was already burning. He was grateful for the warmth as it seemed it was to be a particularly cold day.

"I suppose as well as you," he offered, though she looked as beautiful as the day before, perhaps more so. There were no signs that she had missed out on a whole night's sleep.

"You suppose correctly," she laughed and took her seat by the window again. He wondered why she didn't use the throne that sat in the center of her room. He thought it odd that she so rarely exercised power over him, and when she did that it was for the most trivial of things, like commanding him to share a meal with her.

"Where are your ladies today?"

"I do not require them when you are here," she simpered. Was he to take that as a compliment? She fixed him with an odd look, as if he were a puzzle missing pieces, "What would you like to do today, Sasuke-kun?"

"I believe that responsibility lies with you, Sakura-san," he took the seat facing her when she offered.

"I do wish that you would simply call me Sakura," she mused, her gaze forlorn as it landed on the dismal condition of weather just outside her window.

"Does it make a difference?" his tone held a twinge of irritation, but it seemed not to bother her since she smiled in response.

"Yes, it does," she kept her eyes infuriatingly cast to the snowfall, refusing him the satisfaction of meeting his beguiled gaze.

"Would it make you feel normal?" he leaned forward, clasping his hands on the table, rather eager for a response from her. He supposed that was the only explanation for Sakura's request.

"No," she shook her head, laughing to herself. A compromising flush took over her cheeks, "It would make me feel special."

Sasuke clenched his fists and drew himself back, pulling in a deep breath to quell the flutter of his heart. Was it his recitation of her name that would make it special? Or was it merely to be called by her given name, no matter the person?

"We could talk of my aspirations for a career in medicine," she laughed, a flippant exhale, "I could bore you with more useless information. Or, perhaps we could sample more foreign delicacies."

Her gaze drooped, but she quickly picked it up again, sweeping through the room, before settling on Sasuke's frowning countenance. He did not understand her. This was more than restlessness provoked by a dormant season. Something plagued Sakura in a disturbing, encompassing way.

"I doubt very highly that you could ever begin to bore me," he spoke quietly, words almost lost in the crackle of the fire opposite them.

"Careful," she giggled, "You've given me a rather tempting challenge."

Sasuke smirked, in awe and at a loss from her humor. She in turn smiled so genuinely that he wondered how anything could tamper with her spirit so thoroughly. He thought then that he would like to do whatever in his power to keep that smile on her face, to keep her from looking out that window with sorrowful eyes. Was she aware of how much her beauty grew when she smiled? It could be, if he told her, Sakura might keep that smile there indefinitely.

"I wish to indulge in anything that gives you pleasure," Sasuke said plainly, the words spoken from a space within him that her presence was quickly coming to occupy, "If that includes books of medicine, or food sampling, so be it."

"You give me pleasure," she rested her chin on her hand, leveling him with captivating eyes, "I would like to indulge in you."

"I don't think - ,"

"What books do you prefer?"

"Adventure."

"Have you experienced much music in your life?"

"Only lullabies," Sasuke thought it odd that he was her subject of choice, and that she sought out such specific details, "From my childhood."

"What was it like growing up with a sibling?" she sounded a bit envious, "I've always wondered how it might have been to grow up with another child."

Sasuke swallowed thickly. Again, she had come too close for comfort, bordering the edge of his defenses. He didn't want to lie to her and he wasn't sure why - perhaps because she was so forthright with him?

"Naruto enjoyed it far more than I did," he modified his posture in the chair.

"Why does it make you uncomfortable to speak about your family?"

"Do you think me uncomfortable at the moment?"

"Yes," she laughed as if it were the most obvious notion, "You become terribly restless when I ask about them."

"I had not noticed," Sasuke shrugged, hoping to portray nonchalance.

"You've just done it again," Sakura pointed accusingly at him, "Your movements become forced, it looks unnatural."

"How can you tell that?" his brows furrowed. What was she talking about?

"When we are in unpleasant positions or situations, we pay more attention to the way we present ourselves and make adjustments accordingly. Often times we don't notice it; it is simply the body's defensive response," she gestures to him, "When we are comfortable, or find that we are enjoying ourselves, we become more relaxed; our postures slacken, our shoulders droop - little things like that."

"Did you learn that from your medical books?" he fought the scowl that threatened to break free. How was it that she could read _him_ like one of her books?

"Years of etiquette training, learning how to behave in uncomfortable situations," she grinned, "Years of watching people interact with my father."

"Because they fear him?"

"Don't you?"

Sasuke supposed he did, somewhere within him; the man was Emperor, after all. But Sasuke also new real fear, that palpable, visceral response of the body and psyche that cast out rational thought, leaving room only for the response of fight or flight. Kizashi was not a man to be feared.

"I respect him," he answered.

"Respect breeds respect, don't you think?"

"Yes."

"I respect you, Sasuke-kun."

"You already have my respect, Sakura."

A blush crept over her skin, and she turned her head to the window. He watched the smile return to her lips.

* * *

Sakura turned to the other side of her bed, fitful in a way that was becoming too familiar to her. However, she would not allay the thoughts disquieting her sleep for anything. She replayed the day in her mind, remembering the way she had managed to crack his stoicism with a joke. She let his voice linger, the words winding through her body to plant themselves in her heart: _You already have my respect._

A giddy feeling fluttered in her stomach, rolled over her, and settled like a blanket around her. She was infatuated and enamored by him, craving the look in his eyes when he gazed upon her; the way he watched her so adamantly.

She wanted to experience more of him, to have more of him. She wanted to bask in this feeling and in the joy she felt when she was around him.

* * *

 _"You have to be brave for me, Sasuke. You have to listen to Itachi, no matter what he says," the voice trembled, vibrating as the world surrounding them collapsed. He wouldn't open his eyes, he didn't want to see the destruction._

 _"I don't want to go," his voice was cold, distant._

 _"Be brave for me, Sasuke. I love you."_

 _"I don't want to go!" Sasuke yelled, the ferocity in his words startling him._

 _"You have to be brave for me Sasuke. You have to listen to Itachi, no matter what he says. Be brave for me, Sasuke. I love you."_

 _Was she not listening to him? Did she not care what happened to him?_

 _"I don't want to - "_

 _He was being pulled again, yanked away from the tremors that upset his world and led into the darkness. That was when he opened his eyes, to the safety of pitch black. He didn't know where he was going, but he no longer cared. He felt a solace here, in the silence, until he was dragged down, falling once more, into nothing._

There was a chill in the air when he woke, cooling the perspiration on his heated skin almost instantly. These nightmares were merciless, winding tighter around him with each passing day. Why now, he pondered, why so suddenly? He thought that he had been able to lock these harrowing secrets away, somewhere within that even he couldn't find. But it seems _they_ had found _him_.

* * *

"Tomorrow is your day of rest, correct?" Sakura took a seat on her favorite bench facing the pond. The sun was finally out, shining on her in favor.

"Yes."

Sasuke stood beside the bench, shaking his head when she offered him to sit. He didn't think it wise to leave their comfort with each other open for the world to see. She appeared to understand, as she didn't press the matter.

"You should know, I shall be inconsolable tomorrow," her tone lilted towards humorous, as she peered up at him with doleful eyes.

"You will manage," he looked away, focusing on the guards stationed throughout the palace. Did she put him in such compromising positions intentionally? How was he meant to respond to that? It sounded as if she were infatuated with him. Sasuke set his jaw tight, curling his hands to fists as they rested behind him. How silly of him to think that. She was royalty, and she knew nothing of him.

"Do not make light of my sorrow, Sasuke-kun," he turned to her then, watching the way she wrung her fingers in her lap, fighting something off that had edged its way into her gaze, "How cruel."

"I did not mean to be cruel, only truthful," his hands twitched as he felt an unanticipated urge to reach for her then. He wished to take her upon his chest and soothe the ache he had created. He exhaled sharply; how absurd. Sasuke let his vision waver from her again. He was readily prepared for tomorrow; he was desperate for a reprieve from her. He needed to breathe, to think, to cleanse himself of her company.

"Why are you so quiet all the time?" he heard the tremor in her voice, but it wasn't despondence, "It's infuriating."

"Then perhaps it would benefit you to replace me," he snapped, seething as he turned on her. She shot to her feet and closed the short distance between them.

"Why should I want anybody else?" she was shaking with fury, tendrils of wild pink locks framing her beautifully twisted face.

"You scrutinize me and question me every second I am around you. Do you enjoy making me miserable?" he clenched his jaw and forbade himself from saying anything else. That had not come out as he had intended. He was too harsh and he saw something crumble in her eyes as the words hit her.

"I do not seek to make you miserable," she lowered her gaze, but raised a hand to rest on his chest, spreading her fingers over his heart. Surely she could feel how rapidly it began to beat then, "I wish to understand you."

He took up his hand then, ready to place it over hers, but she turned away, eyes cast to the ground, and walked toward her quarters. Sasuke followed a distance behind.

* * *

He was distracted. He could still evade attacks, but there were too many close calls; he was distracted. He bowed to his opponent and stepped aside for the next soldier to spar, walking over to the window. He was distracted because she was there, sitting outside in the gardens, thoroughly bundled aside her ladies in waiting, watching him. He wiped the sweat from his brow, catching her gaze and trying to quell the feeling that rose within him when she smiled. She wore a bright yellow Junihitoë that kissed the ground as she sat. Paired with her pink hair, she was a vision against the lack of color outside. He saw her shiver and pull her robes closer. Would she freeze just to watch him train?

He donned the rest of his uniform and left the little hut where the soldiers sparred in winter. It was his day of rest, and yet he still could not be rid of her it seemed. He took the trail to the gardens until he came upon the Emperor's daughter and her envoy. She looked all too pleased to see him.

"You should be inside," he addressed her directly, "Keeping warm."

"I miss my garden," she simpered. Her ladies petted her affectionately, consolingly, all the while shivering in the harsh wind.

"Do you not think you've seen enough of it now?" He doubted she'd paid any attention to it at all. He doubted because he'd been too busy paying attention to her to properly fight.

"Not at all. I'm quite happy to spend the rest of my days out here," she looked to her ladies who nodded in agreement. Sasuke frowned and turned on his heel, heading for the barracks. He emerged not a half hour later, being sure to pass by the gardens, and noted that Sakura was nowhere to be found.

* * *

She could not shake the image of Sasuke, perspiring and half naked, as he pit himself against his fellow soldiers. He commanded attention in his skill; she could not look away. After their spat, she had let him stay outside, finding that she needed some peace of mind and marveling at the concept that it might not involve him.

Now, she was unable to stall her thoughts of him. She wanted him as she'd never wanted any courtier that had gone so far as to pledge love to her. She imagined that Sasuke could conjure a gaze promising much more than words ever would. Sakura wanted to see him look at her the way it was described in novels when a man gazed at the woman they adored. Imagine, she thought, to be worshipped by a man like Sasuke. Not a man _like_ him, she amended, just him.

She closed her eyes and laid herself back on the bed. She let her mind procure him above her, let herself imagine the way his lips might feel against her skin as he moved upwards. Kami; she took in a sharp breath, picturing the way his primal gaze would fix on her as he sucked at her delicate flesh.

An ache settled itself in the region between her thighs, pulsating like an angry need, insistent that she was missing something in that moment. She allowed her hands to travel along her torso, skimming the tops of her breasts in a teasing motion. She reached to her thighs, gathering the silk of her nightgown and pulled it above her navel. The cool air hit her sharply, a stark contrast to the heat pooling in her abdomen.

For a moment, Sakura worried the fabric in her hands, biting her lip as her imaginary version of Sasuke settled between her legs. Then, her fingers flew to the heat of her entrance, testing the edges of her desire. She found herself wet at the thought of him. How could he command such responses from her when he was not even near her? Sakura's heart wished for his worship and yet, it was her body that worshipped him, begging for his attentions.

She slipped her fingers along the opening of her sex, working one in and finding a sweet pain as she did. She felt herself stretch to accommodate something she had never had to before, but the friction created from the motion of her finger inspired her to continue on. What if it were Sasuke's fingers? What if he was above her, his large hands holding her thighs as he attended to her most intimate parts with his mouth?

Sakura uttered a forlorn moan and tore her hands away. Surely she was going crazy. Was she supposed to feel this way for another person? Was it natural to feel such passion for him? She rolled over, clamping her thighs tight together, but it would do nothing to pacify her discomfort.

* * *

Sasuke didn't sleep that night, could not. It wasn't the threat of nightmares that kept him awake, though. He was unable to stave off the thoughts that swam in his head of Sakura. He considered her fascinating. She spoke with an intelligence and understanding beyond her years. She held herself with grace and dignity, but she was not above humility. She was beautiful and lethal in her attraction. She was dangerous.

And he could not wait to see her the next morning. He could not wait to hear the questions she would pose to him. He could not wait to see the smile on her face. He could not wait to find ways to spend the day with her.

Sasuke lay in his bed, watching the shadows pass with the hours, and willed himself to think of anything but her.

* * *

"Are you lonely?" Sakura fingered the edge of the page. She had stopped mid sentence of an article on the effects of traumatic experiences to mental health, and raised her eyes to his adept gaze. He was listening to her, paying attention, because for some odd reason when she read aloud to him, the subject became far more interesting. She blinked rapidly, as though she had startled not only him, but herself, too, "Without your family, Sasuke-kun, are you lonely?"

He had gone so long without his family that he had forgotten what it was to not be lonely.

"I suspect you know the answer," he said slowly, with fragility, "And I suspect you are only asking because you would like me to ask the same question," Sakura released the page, chewing her lip and leaned back in her chair, "But I know that answer, too."

"Enough," she tore her eyes away and stood abruptly. He followed suit, recoiling within himself for the silly action, "You say I make you miserable and yet _I_ am the one suffering at your hand as you mock me."

"No," Sasuke frowned and took a cautious step toward her. She folded her arms over her chest and turned her back to him, "I would never mock you. I do not want to make you miserable," he swallowed harshly, attempting to navigate his language delicately without giving himself away. But still, she would not look at him, and so he reached for her, his hand coming to rest at the nape of her neck, just below the intricate wrap of her hair. She did not flinch from him, in fact, he felt her lean back into the small touch.

Her skin was soft under the pads of his fingers and he found his hand itching to feel more of it. Her rapid pulse thrummed under his contact.

"Good," she cleared her throat and, upon turning to him, he let his hand drop to his side, "I do enjoy your company, Sasuke-kun."

"As do I," he nodded once, in affirmation, and she smiled up at him.

"Then, shall we be lonely together?" she extended her hand to him, palm up in offering. He placed his hand in hers and followed her back to the table, where she resumed narrating her scriptures.


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't stop this story train and I don't want to. You guys are the absolute BEST. I'm so happy you're enjoying this story as much as I am. I know everything that's going to happen and I'm still so excited to watch it unfold, so that's a good sign I think!**

* * *

 _They had started a fire that spread through the village, consuming the houses until it had left only rubble. It was fast approaching now; they had to evacuate before the last of their compound was destroyed. And before the horde arrived. They would come in their dark clothes and faceless masks to pillage the remains of his home. They took no prisoners, that was well known._

 _"Be brave for me, Sasuke," Mikoto stroked his cheek, tears welling in her eyes. She knew this would be his last memory of her and so she smiled, "I love you."_

 _"I don't want to go," his voice was weak, but his grip on her was tight._

 _"I know," she whispered, "I know, Sasuke, but you can not stay here. It isn't safe."_

 _"Why are you staying?" Sasuke hated how meek and vulnerable he sounded._

 _"We have to fight," she released her son, "To give you t - "_

 _"Mikoto!" Fugaku ran into the room, brandishing a sword soaked with blood, eyes wild with rage, "They're coming."_

 _"I love you both," her voice became frantic, grip tight as she held her sons for the last time. Fugaku grabbed her arm, pulling her up from the floor, "I love you," she gave them one last look, over her shoulder as she followed Fugaku to the desolation outside, "Don't trust the clouded cloaks."_

 _"Sasuke, we have to go," his brother tugged at his arm but Sasuke's feet felt like lead. He couldn't stop looking at his mother, agonizing over the depthless sorrow in her eyes._

 _"If you get separated, do not trust the clouded cloaks!" Then, she was gone and Itachi was pulling him into the darkness._

* * *

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants and watched the sun bring light into the world. He wondered how long it would take her to open the doors this time. She was becoming accustomed to having him there each morning; the minutes becoming shorter each day.

Sakura emerged from her rooms with the other guard who bid her a good day and went off to the barracks.

"Will you walk with me?" Sakura slipped her arm around the crook of Sasuke's elbow and beamed up at him.

"Yes," Sasuke gave her a slight nod and kept his stride with hers as they began on the melting path. He tried not to look at her or wonder why she had asked that she walk _with_ him and not just that he escort her. He kept his gaze ahead, shaking these thoughts away; he was analyzing her mannerisms far too much. What did it matter what language she used around him? She couldn't be putting that much thought into the way she acted when she was with him.

"How did you sleep?" Sakura gazed up at him, fingers tightening in their hold on his forearm.

"Your concern is endearing," he spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully so as not to offend her, "But my answer will be the same."

"Do you know why you are unable to sleep?"

"No."

"Sasuke-kun, you must learn how to lie better, especially when it is to my face," she giggled, but when he would not return her gaze, she sobered, "I know why I can not sleep."

"Haruno-sama!"

Sakura ripped her hand from Sasuke's arm and turned to the voice. An excited man strode down the path toward them, wearing a long Haori made of fine silks indicative of a noble heritage.

"Lee-san, good morning," Sakura smiled sweetly, folding her hands in front of her as Lee came to stand before her.

"How are you fairing today, Haruno-sama?" Sasuke saw Lee's hand twitch towards hers before he noticed that she had clasped them together.

"Well, and how are you?" her words were clipped but her tone was polite.

"I am much better now that I have been graced with your beauty this day," Lee grinned as Sakura smiled and bowed her head. Sasuke clenched his fists, but found that his need to look away was nowhere near the temptation to keep watching their interaction unfold. Who was this man? A suitor?

"You are too kind," Sakura spared a very brief glance back at Sasuke, "Forgive me, but I was just taking a walk around the garden."

"Yes, of course, let me escort you," Lee held his arm out, seeming neither to notice nor care that she appeared to want to be alone. Sakura took his arm and began to walk with him.

"Thank you, Lee-san," she kept her eyes cast down as she passed Sasuke, but he would not look away from her as he began to follow them down the trail. Lee noticed and paused briefly.

"I'm sure you are needed elsewhere. Rest assured I can take care of her," Lee smiled, a wide grin that caused Sasuke to scowl.

"She is under my care until the Emperor decrees otherwise," even Sasuke could hear the measure of control in his tone slipping.

"It's all right, Uzumaki-san," he stiffened, startled that she called him something other than 'Sasuke-kun.'

"Haruno-sama - ,"

"Please wait for me by my quarters," she did not smile as she gave the simple command, ducking her head again and pulling Lee further down the trail. Sasuke turned sharply on his heel and stalked back to her area of the palace. He placed himself in front of her doors, an irritation causing his skin to itch in a restless way.

Who was that man?

* * *

The hours passed with Lee adept at her side, talking at her, through her, until finally she found she could not stand it anymore.

"The sun does not shine until I have seen your face," Lee frowned when she remained silent, her eyes attentive to a spot in the distance, "Did you know that? Haruno-sama?"

"Forgive me," she shook her head, "I am not myself today. I think that I would like to lie down."

"Oh, certainly. I will take you back to your rooms," he stood from the bench and extended his hand. She took it and rose slowly, feigning difficulty in the hopes that she could pass off her disinterest as sickness.

"Thank you, but I can manage. I have taken enough of your time today," she bowed her head and started on her way back before he could stop her. As she rounded the lake, she saw her doors come in to view, and standing in front of them, dutifully, was Sasuke. She couldn't contain the smile that spread as she came upon him, "It is too cold out here, come inside."

He kept silent, but followed her into her sitting room. She took off her gloves and dropped them on the table by the window. With nimble fingers, Sakura pulled at the decorative pins holding her bun together, causing her hair to spiral down her back in waves. It was the first time Sasuke had seen her hair loose and he had an unwarranted impulse to run his fingers through it. Perhaps as he kissed her. Every muscle in his body became terse as the thought passed through him. No, that was wrong. How could he think that?

"Sasuke-kun, are you all right?" Sakura strode toward him and placed a hand on his bicep. He almost flinched from her touch.

"Who is that man?" he bit his tongue as soon as the words flew from his mouth. It was not his place to ask, Sakura's gaze softened, the edges of her lips wilting.

"He is the son of a nobleman in my father's company. He is a potential suitor," he felt her finger the cotton material of his shirt before she dropped her hand and turned away, "Lee-san is sweet, but - ," Sakura stopped and shook her head. Sasuke was aching to hear the stipulation that inevitably followed her compliment of Lee, "Well, it matters not."

"Did you enjoy yourself?" he felt suddenly quite out of place in her large room with her fine things, standing in her startling presence. She smiled and looked back at him, rosy hair contrasting with her sparkling jade eyes.

"I am enjoying myself now."

Sasuke smirked and waited for her to take her seat by the window before he resumed his. She picked up the book that lay there, finding the page they had bookmarked yesterday and resumed her place. She read aloud to him of the boundless possibilities of transferable diseases when surgeons were improper with hygiene as they worked. He listened to every word, noticing the little inflections she put on certain syllables and the way her lips curved to accommodate different letters. A man in China had died of gangrene after visiting a surgeon with rusty tools. Meanwhile, a woman in Russia had to have her leg amputated after receiving a bacterial infection post surgery. She read the articles as though they were the most fascinating passages her eyes had ever graced.

With one hand on the book, the other twisted her pink locks around and pulled them over her shoulder, exposing the pale curve of her neck. She ran her fingers along her neck in concise circles and seemed not to notice that she was even doing so. But Sasuke could not tear his eyes away now. He was imagining how her skin would feel if those were his fingers outlining simple designs. What would she do if he were to reach out and touch her now?

"Sasuke-kun, are you paying attention?" Sakura set the book down between them as a smile quirked her lips.

"I am."

"You are staring."

"At what?"

"At me," she set her chin on the back of her hand.

"Would you prefer that I look elsewhere?" he lifted his brows to emphasize his question.

"No," she laughed lightly, eyes boring in to his, "I am accustomed to it from Lee-san, from many admirers, but not - ," Sakura trailed off when she saw the shadow that fell over Sasuke's face. She cleared her throat, "Have you ever had - Have you ever been in love?"

"No."

"I have not yet had the pleasure," she paused, thinking, then laughed "I wonder if I will even be able to recognize it when it happens."

"When?"

"Do you not think love inevitable?"

"I do not know."

"I would like to think that I will love somebody one day," she eyed him speculatively, "Wouldn't you like that?"

"I suppose," he looked away from the intensity of her gaze, from the unspoken questions burning behind her eyes, "Do you think anybody capable of love?"

"Yes," she said softly, "I do."

"Do you think these suitors love you?"

"They certainly speak as if they do," she began to trace the words in her book with her finger idly, "It might be that they have fooled themselves into thinking they do."

"So you think that they do not?"

"They do not know me, Sasuke-kun," as he looked back at her, she dropped her eyes to her hands, "And how can you love a person you do not know?"

Sasuke frowned; there was truth to her words. Did they simply take her at face value, knowing only her heritage and claim their feelings to be love? She deserved better. She deserved to find love someday and to have it in turn, he thought. He was utterly unconvinced it would be with Lee. The man knew how to speak to her, but it sounded as though many of her suitors did - perhaps that is why she did not feel special. Did all of her suitors speak the same way to her, utter the same sweet nothings? It was no wonder she found herself blind to what love, real love, looked like.

But Sasuke knew. He would recognize it in a second, because his parents had it. And he knew it was beautiful.

"Sasuke-kun," her voice wavered and he snapped out of his thoughts as he saw her lip quiver, "I wish to talk about something else."

"Have I made you upset?"

"No, not you," she shook her head and stood from the table. Sasuke felt himself pulled to his feet, compelled to follow her across the room as she paced.

"What troubles you?" he reached his hand out, palm open to receive hers, maybe to lead her back to the table - he wasn't sure why he had offered himself to her. She glanced at his fingers, outstretched and turned in to him, winding her arms around his waist and resting her cheek against his chest. Sasuke tensed under her touch, hands falling limp at his sides, unable to move.

"I am tired of this life," she whispered, lips moving against his shirt, "I want to be free."

"Freedom is a luxury," Sasuke shifted slightly, attempting not to disturb her position, "Even I can not afford it."

Sakura tightened her grip on him and he felt a compulsion to lift his arms then, encircling them around her middle. He found the motion so natural and forgot to ask himself if the action was appropriate; he was concerned only with her comfort. His hand slid up her back, finding the tendrils of her wild hair and slipping between them. She did not protest and, in fact, leaned into his bold touch.

"Do I seem silly?" she murmured as he began to stroke her hair, "Like a child unappreciative of privilege?"

"No," she looked up to him, searching his eyes, "It is not silly to want a better life. It is greedy to want what you do not have and what you already possess."

"And I can not have one without giving up the other," she mused, fingers running up his back in a way that caused him to shiver as she pulled herself closer still. He felt suddenly vulnerable in her arms, reliant upon her touch and responsive to her movements. It terrified him to think that another person could hold such sway over him. That powerlessness he always felt in his dreams, in his memories, however, was so vastly different to what he felt now. He could not conjure a reason good enough to support why he just _knew_ that Sakura would never use that vulnerability against him. She was not malicious, she was as beautiful in her personage as in her physicality. And he found that terrifying, too.

A knock sounded at the front of her chambers and they sprang apart, Sasuke rushing to answer the door. The sun was beginning to set behind the kitchen maid who hurried in with Sakura's dinner. The woman set the platter on the table, her footsteps and movements the only din in the thick air. He would need to leave soon, he thought as he shut the door behind the server. Another guard would come to relieve him shortly; he would have to depart from her, until tomorrow.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura prompted him, seating herself at the table and gesturing to his spot. It had become a normality that he ate with her now. He no longer dined with his fellow soldiers, and he no longer cared to. He found much better company in her. But tonight, he thought, it might be best that he not.

"I think that I should wait outside, until my shift has ended," he bowed his head to her and she bristled at stiff the action. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but nodded instead.

"Very well. Good night, Sasuke-kun," she took up her utensils and began to eat, diverting her gaze from him.

"Good night, Sakura," he removed himself from her rooms, closing the door behind him, and stepped into the crisp air. Snow had begun to fall once more, blanketing the earth freshly, covering the impurities and imprints of the day.

* * *

 _They marched through the smoke, a mass of black and swirling red clouds, towards the wreckage of his village. He knew his parents were still there, somewhere, defending the remnants of their once revered clan._

 **Be brave for me. I love you.**

 _"Don't look, Sasuke. Just keep running."_

 _He didn't want to run anymore. He was tired of running through this dark forest while the last embers of his village burned into nothing behind him. He kept his eyes ahead, but all he could see was black. The trees shrouded them in darkness, hiding them even from the light of the moon. He did not know where they were headed, but he did not want to go. How could he leave his life behind? He wrenched his arm free from Itachi's hold._

 _"I want to go back!" despite his words, Sasuke did not move._

 _"We can not go back to the village, Sasuke," Itachi's voice was sharp, a tone he had never taken with him before, "I have to keep you safe from them."_

 _"I want to go back to mother!"_

 _The crunch of twigs beneath heavy feet reached them and Itachi yanked Sasuke forward again. Frightened by the cry of the warriors running after them, Sasuke kept silent and followed his brother. Soon, he saw a shaft of light at the edge of the forest and knew where they were going. The gates of Konoha Village, towering and menacing in stature came in to view. Standing in wait at the entrance were the Uzumakis aside a modest horse-drawn caravan loaded with supplies._

 _"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked, clutching his brother tightly as they approached them._

 _"I don't know," Itachi admitted, a touch of sorrow marring his words. They stopped before Minato and Kushina who held a mixture of trepidation and relief in their gazes, "Where is Naruto?"_

 _"Asleep, inside," Minato gestured to the caravan._

 _"You have my deepest gratitude for this," Itachi bowed his head before kneeling in front of Sasuke, "Be brave for me, okay?"_

 _"Are you coming with me?" his voice trembled._

 _"Next time," Itachi poked his forehead affectionately._

 _"Will you find me?"_

 _Itachi faltered, but shook his head._

 _"I can not know where you are," Itachi hugged Sasuke tightly, "I have to keep you safe."_

 _"I don't want you to go," Sasuke whimpered, tears stinging his eyes as he clutched his brother.  
"I have to," Itachi released him quickly, shooting to his feet as the call of the horde became louder._

 _"You need to leave now," Minato said with urgency._

 _Kushina pulled something from one of the packs on the caravan. She handed the bundle of cloth of Itachi._

 _"Wear this, it will keep you safe," she pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek, "We will never stop protecting him."_

 _"Thank you," Itachi released her and fumbled with the piece of clothing, draping it over his shoulders. It was of fine black silk and decorated with swirling red clouds._

 **Do not trust the clouded cloaks.**

 _"Keep off the paths, you know this forest better than they," Minato clasped a hand on Itachi's shoulder and he nodded._

 _"Be brave for me, Sasuke," Itachi repeated, love and fear evident in his eyes, before he lifted the cloak over his head. His face became shrouded in the shadow of his hood._

 _"I want to go with you," Sasuke stepped forward, but Minato caught him, holding him back. Itachi faltered, then took Sasuke and lifted him into the caravan. He seated him on the bench opposite the one Naruto occupied, curled up in a peaceful sleep._

 _"Not today," Itachi spoke softly and let Kushina slide in beside Sasuke before shutting the door of the carriage. At the edge of the forest the lights of torches cut through the darkness._

 _"You have to go! Now!" Minato cried, scrambling to the front of the caravan to spur the horses forward. Itachi turned and ran up the side of the forest, disappearing into the thrush of trees. Sasuke called after him, but found he was drowned out by the stomp of hooves as the caravan lurched forward and the voices of the enemy as they came closer. Kushina pulled Sasuke away from the window and shoved the curtain down over the opening, plunging them in to darkness. Though, she could not silence the horde as she had so snuffed out his sight; their cries for blood and battle followed them for a time until, eventually, the horses were able to pull them a safe distance ahead._


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are the BUH-EST. I cannot get over your reviews, you guys crack me up. I am also very happy that I've been updating so frequently since we all know I literally NEVER do that, but that's because I actually can not stop writing this fucking story. I swear. I write it when I'm at work on my breaks, I write in when I'm in class, I stay up all night and get no sleep because I'm writing this. So. . . my life revolves around this story right now. Hope it stays that way. Enjoy.**

* * *

"I would like to apologize for my actions yesterday," she had hardly spoken a word to him all morning until after they had lunched. She seemed content to sit in silence and read not to him, but quietly instead. It upset him to not be able to hear her voice, but he could not bring himself to tell her that.

"Apologize?" Sasuke asked, befuddled.

"Yes," she was looking to the window at the blizzard that raged outside, "It was inappropriate of me to say those things to you."

Was she apologizing because she had said them to a lowly guard?

"I did not think it inappropriate," he admitted. She looked surprised, her widened eyes snapping to his.

"No?" she asked and he shook his head. She paused for a breath, contemplating her next words, "I just - I do not wish to burden you."

"You are not a burden," he stalled himself, not wanting to continue, fearful of what he might say to assuage her thoughts.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I suppose I feel that I can confide in you and not have to worry of judgement or ridicule," she began to play with her hair again, this time plaiting it off to the side. He noticed she did it at times when she was deep in thought or concentration, just as she did when she had read to him, "I am not accustomed to a welcoming ear. It is unusual for me to speak so freely."

"And yet you do it so well," Sasuke smirked, attempting to lighten the mood. Sakura huffed and grinned.

"You know," she spoke gingerly, clutching her braid in secured fingers, "You do not have to hide your thoughts from me, either. I would pose no judgement to you."

"Do you think I hide things from you?" He was playing coy, hoping to make light of the conversation. He knew she was aware he was hiding from her. He was always hiding, the only other option being to run. But he was tired of running.

"Don't belittle me Sasuke-kun," she joked, "You insult my intelligence."

"My apologies," he smirked.

"Very well, I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you," she simpered. For a moment, she considered him, cocking her head to the side as she thought, "Do you like me, Sasuke-kun?" He felt himself go pale. Had he been that obvious? "What I mean to say is: do you enjoy being in my company?"

"Yes," he swallowed harshly and folded his hands in his lap.

"Good, I do not wish to keep you against your will, but I find myself wanting to be near you," she flushed at her own words and undid the tendrils of her braid, only to start over immediately. How could she say these things without consequence? He felt an urge to draw out her odd mannerisms and place them on the table between them.

"Is that why you came to see me fight?"

"I was admiring my garden," she said with mock defensiveness.

"Of course. I imagine it's lovely when everything is dead and white," he teased.

"And if I did come to watch you?" she asked after a moment of silence, allowing her candor to show through.

"Then, I hope I did not bore you," he answered simply. She smiled and shook her head, lashes hovering low over her eyes.

"Never," her voice was quiet, words melting into the air around them.

* * *

She had to know that he was attuned to her activities and the attention she gave him, but she never spoke a word of it. She continued to skirt the truth, teasing him, flirting he thought sometimes with the notion that she might harbor feelings for him. It was driving him mad. He didn't understand why he wanted to be around her, why he acquiesced to her wishes of spending time together. If he thought about it too much it started to make sense and he couldn't have that. If he felt so strongly toward her without trying, he shuddered to imagine what it might be like if he actually gave life to his desires.

Sasuke had just sat down on his bed, still dressed in uniform, when an unfamiliar guard came up to him, brandishing a sealed letter.

"This arrived earlier with us on the supply caravan, from your brother," he said.

Sasuke took the letter and tore the wax seal, unfolding the stiff parchment with haste; it had been months since Naruto had written.

 _Sasuke,_

 _I hope this finds you well, or at least better than we are faring out here.; this winter seems to be more harsh than the last. I am sorry I have not written you sooner, but we fell under attack and were forced to move camp. I am fine, but we lost many good men. Our numbers have continued to dwindle and I fear that we have already lost this war. The Akatsuki seem to have an army with no end. Somehow, they have eyes everywhere and I've begun to suspect they have infiltrated our masses. I can not say more, not in a letter. I have urged the Emperor in my report to consider a deal with the Hokage; with his forces we may have a chance against the Akatsuki. Mother and Father are safe still. I can not say where they've gone, but they are safe with Jiraiya. They send their love to you, as do I. My hope is that I will be home by this time next year, if the Emperor is able to come to an agreement with the Hokage. Until then,_

 _Naruto_

Sasuke frowned and crumpled the letter. He should be at Naruto's side, fighting this war, defending the little family he had left. But how could Naruto consider working with the man who had undermined his father? Frustrated, Sasuke pulled his boots back on and walked outside. The garden was bathed in moonlight, the clouds from earlier having cleared away. The snow was still fresh, hardly a footprint marring the path in front of him.

He should be there.

 _Do not trust the clouded cloaks._

Sasuke shook his head, willing the thoughts away. If he tried to sleep tonight, he would be greeted only with nightmares. He paused in his steps, finding himself beside Sakura's window in her sitting area. A candle burned on the table, but she stood on the other side of the room, by the fire. He could see the guard standing beside her. She looked up suddenly, catching him at the window and he froze. A slight blush crept infuriatingly into his cheeks and he ducked his head, continuing on the trail. How embarrassing, he thought, to be caught like that.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called and ran up to him, clutching her robe tight to her body.

"Forgive me, I was - ," he began, but she silenced him.

"I can not sleep, either," the wind whipped her long tresses up, curling them through the air. Sakura shook them out of her face, tucking a few strands behind her ears, "Walk with me?"

"Of course," Sasuke said softly, a sense of relief for her company overcoming him. He bent his arm and she slid her hand through, resting it on his forearm as they began walking.

"Are you all right, Sasuke-kun? Has something bothered you tonight?" she looked up at him with a delicate frown and an empathetic gaze. He considered her for a long moment, weighing the options of confiding in her or shutting her out completely. There was no denying that Naruto's letter had left a weight on his chest. The thought of losing another brother. . . It hit him harder than he cared to admit.

"I fear for Naruto's life," he took a deep breath, the cold air shooting through him. Sakura lowered her eyes to the ground and lifted her other hand to clasp his arm. Her fingers stroked soft patterns into the cloth of his shirt and he found the motions rather soothing.

"My father has told me of the desolation this war has brought," she leaned into him softly, head resting against his bicep, "He taught me of the Uchiha's betrayal when I was young, and how they perished at the hands of the Akatsuki. Even so, it was terrible to lose such a strong clan. My father was distraught when Minato-san lost control of Konoha, too, but I'm sure you knew that," Sasuke could only nod, his gaze attentive to anything but her. This conversation was hitting too close to home for his liking, "I am happy you did not perish the night they attacked Konoha."

"And what about the families lost that night?" he could not keep the malice out of his voice.

"It was unfortunate," she pulled away to look at him properly, though she kept a firm grip on his arm. Her brows furrowed as she saw a lethal rage present in his dark orbs, "I am sure you lost people you loved in the village, and for that I am deeply saddened, but I am merely stating that I am happy you were not one of them. I am happy that I can stand here and talk with you, that I am not living in ignorance of your existence."

He would not look at her and so she stopped them in her tracks and yanked his chin to face her with a firm grip. Her eyes were gratuitous as they searched his, though he wasn't sure what it was she looked for. With a huff she released him and tore down the path until she reached her bench by the willow tree. She did not sit as she usually did. Instead, she ducked under the frozen branches. Sasuke watched the leaves sway softly in the wind, catching slight glances of her kimono when they parted.

He followed her tracks and lifted the branches, stepping under the tree's coverage. There was hardly a shaft of light brightening their small space. He could only see so far in front of him, but he could see that Sakura had her back to him.

"I do not understand you, Sasuke-kun," she murmured.

"Why should you want to?" he failed to contain the harshness in his words.

"Simply because I do," she answered calmly, "Is that so wrong?"

"Yes."

"Then so be it," she snapped, "I will be wrong."

"Sakura," he put his arm on her shoulder and urged her to face him. She did so with great reluctance, casting her eyes to the leaves around them, "I do not understand _you_. Why are you so attentive to me?"

"Does it bother you?" Sasuke faltered. Of course it did, and at the same time he was utterly content to be under her gaze, "Is it so terrible that I wish to know more of you?"

"Yes," the word came out in a defeated exhale. Rather than flinch from him, Sakura stepped closer, lifting her eyes to his. She placed a naked hand on the trunk of the tree, almost as if to steady herself as she leaned forward. She stopped just short of resting against him.

"A flower's beauty is measured only in the admiration it receives," she spoke low, fingers stroking the damp bark, "Would you agree?"

"Not at all," Sasuke was becoming more accustomed to responding to her passing thoughts, but even then he was perplexed by her change in subject. He wanted to look away from the intensity of her gaze, but she captivated him in that moment, "That implies that the flower did not have any beauty to begin with."

"I think that the flower had beauty," she hesitated and took a deep breath before continuing, "But the flower did not care for it, until it was shown that admiration."

"Any admiration?" Sasuke countered, the prickle of anticipation beginning at the nape of his neck.

"Admiration counts for naught unless the person receiving it so admires the person giving it," her eyes were probing, daring him silently and begging him in her words.

"And if I recognized your beauty?" he questioned her bluntly.

"Recognized it? Or admired it?" Sakura swallowed harshly; she had to know she wasn't the only soul tormented by this gnawing desire between them.

"You are beautiful, you know this," Sasuke spoke curtly, but exasperation was evident in his words, "You do not need to hear it yet again when they still sing of your beauty in foreign lands. Why should I tell you something that your suitors remind you of at every encounter?"

"Admiration counts for naught - "

"I heard you," Sasuke gritted his teeth, clenching his fists. Sakura did not shrink from his words. In fact, she had to hide the smile that threatened to break over her lips as she caught the tremor in his stance and the tempest raging in his eyes. She could see his desire then, his want, and felt an urge to explore it.

"I admire you," she stepped toward him again carefully, as one might approach a caged beast. She could see the strain in his features as her frigid hand came up against his cheek. When she stood right up to him, she found she had to raise herself slightly so that they became level with each other. With an angle, she pressed her lips against his. As though she had compelled him, his arms ensnared her waist and his tongue begged access. He pushed her back against the tree and she gripped his shoulders tightly, giving in, parting her lips to feel his tongue against hers. He responded in earnest, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth where he nipped it delicately. A moan was lost on her breath, caught between their lips but they did not stop.

She was flush against the trunk of the tree and still he pushed his body against hers, eager for her warmth and the taste of her lips. Her hands ran along his back and wound their way through his hair, crushing his mouth against hers with bruising force. But she was lost in him, too lost to care, and he was all too happy to drown within her. They took small breaths through parted lips, never separate for more than a moment and let the seconds pass to minutes. Time stretched around them but could not penetrate the space they shared. They were reckless with each other, biting and sucking and moaning when they brushed or pressed just so against each other.

"Sasuke-kun," her lips slipped from his and she struggled to find the space to pull away with Sasuke in front of her and the tree behind her. He released her and planted his hands on the icy bark, breathing heavily.

"I do admire you," he closed his eyes, head shaking, "Of course I do."

Sakura felt her heart skip, even though he had proven the sentiment without having to speak the words. She circled her arms around his neck, thumb stroking the line of his jaw, then moved up to pet his lips.

"I have been unable to stop thinking of you," he opened his eyes to meet hers. The bark began to bite into his skin as he pressed his hands more harshly against it, "I am restless at night because I dream of your mouth and your touch - ," Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat. Her soft voice was heavily laden with an unquenched lust, "I dream about you pleasuring me in the most obscene ways - I - ,"

"Sakura," he cut off the stream of unfiltered confessions spilling from her lips. It was more than he could take. She had thought of him in that way? How far did she think this could go? How had he let it get this far? "We can not."

"Then, escort me to my chambers," her voice was quiet but burdened with desire, fingers stroking his cheeks.

"I do not think that would be wise," he gripped her wrists and took her hands away. Her touch was burning against his skin, searing passion into his body.

"No, not wise," he could hear the humor in her voice, "Do you think you won't be able to control yourself if we are alone?"

Sasuke swallowed sharply. How could she ask him that? He knew the answer. Of course he wouldn't, couldn't. She was irresistible to him. And now that he had had a taste. . .

"No," he choked out.

"Then I implore you not to," she lost all frivolity, speaking low and sincere, "Kiss me again."

He met her imploring gaze once more and felt a spark shoot up his spine at the fire that lay in her eyes. She yearned for him, perhaps as much as he did for her. Her fingers twitched like she was aching as much as he was for just one more touch. He was begging for it, ready to fight for another moment with her.

"I can't," he took a shuddering breath, "it isn't right."

"I don't care," she could barely be heard over the wind that blew through the trees, "I want more."

"That is a dangerous request," his voice was hoarse now, strained by the wilting force of his will. She curled her fingers around the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a searing kiss, moving her lips over his, while he stood rigid against her. She paused, whispering against him,

"I know."

And her lips were on his again, soft like satin and bruising like steel. He took hold of her hips, pinning Sakura against him once more. He didn't want to let her go, couldn't imagine it now that she was pressed so tightly against him. He felt every curve and angle of her body fitted with his, finding that they connected in the most peculiar ways. The language of her form spoke with his, whispering low that this was right, this was how it was meant to feel.

Before he could ask himself what 'it' was, she pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open, but she ducked her gaze and slipped out from under the willow tree. Sasuke was frozen, the skin of his lips buzzing with her memory. He could still smell her in the crisp air and if he closed his eyes, he could reach out and touch her; she was so much more tangible now.

"Sasuke-kun?" he was startled out of the sweet reverie by the call of his name. He pulled back the draped leaves to see her. There was not a soul around them, and yet she shined like a beacon. At least, to him she did. She was waiting for him and how could he possibly resist?

"I will escort you to your rooms," he didn't add that he might stay with her, that he wanted to stay with her. It was foolish to entertain the thought that they might give life to their carnal desires, but that is where his mind began to wander. He had felt the outlines of her body against him and it had caused a reaction not entirely unpleasant in his trousers. He hoped she either had not noticed or, better yet, had not minded. Sakura took his hand, linking their fingers, and he looked around nervously, even though it was clear they had the path to themselves.

"I was afraid you would not see me in a favorable light," she said faintly, "Or that you might see me as everyone else did."

"You did surpass my expectations," he admitted, voice subdued.

"As did you," she smiled and stopped him on the snowy path. Gingerly, she reached her hand up to spread over his heart, as she'd done before, "But I sense that there is still much that you conceal from the rest of the world, and from me. I do not want to see you as everyone else does. I wish to know you as intimately as you know yourself," she took a small breath and fisted his shirt in her hand, "Perhaps, one day, even better than you do."

He clutched her hand, thumb stroking her tightened fingers. It was a charming sentiment; her words triggered an aspiration to make that diegesis a reality. But how could they? A flurry of negations swirled in his mind, justifying his requirement for a lifetime of solitude. Perhaps not solitude, he thought, but with her - He could see no possible future for them, could see no scenario where they would be happy in their lives. If he were still of noble lineage, maybe, but what was the use of spending time thinking on things that _could_ have been?

"That is not realistic," he pulled her hand away, adopting a somber tone as he released her.

"I will not ask forgiveness for hoping," she bit the inside of her cheek and looked away, folding her arms over her chest.

"I do not want you to," he softened, but she would not spare him a glance, "I simply wish that you would see the impossibility of what you ask for."

"I see no impossibilities," she snapped, gathering her skirt in her hands, "I see only you and me, and the walls you invariably put between us."

She stormed down the length of the trail, returning to her rooms where he watched her reenter and promptly slam the door shut. He clenched his hands to fists and cursed to the frigid air. But, he supposed it was better this way; better that they do not become attached, better that they find out there is no hope for them now, better that they do not fall in love. As soon as he thought the word, his heart squeezed painfully tight in his chest; that did not feel better.

Sasuke started back on the trail, stopping at her bench. He shoved the snow to the ground and sat down, folding his hands in his lap. He looked out at her world, at the frozen lake, at the bare branches, and then to the willow tree; the only thing still teeming with life. He could see them there, hidden beneath the leaves and under cover of darkness exploring the tender passions they had only just discovered. Eager lips and possessive hands painted their picture of desire; a flame licking away the edges of his sanity. Sasuke watched the breeze stir the overhanging leaves and his projection disappeared. He turned his gaze to her chambers where a soft glow still emanated and wondered how long it would take her to open the doors come morning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Whoo, gettin' all hot and bothered with this sexual tension. This already feels like the slowest burn ever to me, but that's because my first response to any attraction is always simply, "Oh just bang and you'll be fine." I can't get over you guys or your reviews, you're all beautiful. Enjoy!**

* * *

She lay on her bed, atop her sheets for hours that night, waiting for the passion in her heart and the ache at her core to subside. She waited for the memory of his touch to cease plaguing her, but it lingered stubbornly, causing her heart to caper each and every time she felt the ghost of his lips on hers. How could he show her such ravishing desire, then deny her that same pleasure the next moment? She understood his reasoning, but she could not bring herself to agree with it. Sakura had hurt more than she could have imagined just from the subjugation to his rejection.

She felt an amiable gratification when she interacted with him. He made her laugh, smile, and find enjoyment in activities that had previously become dull. But to hold his attention in such a way and to feel the force of his fondness for her, it was incomparable.

She had been granted the experience of reciprocation from a man she truly wanted and she found that there was little to nothing she would trade that for.

He had such hunger in his eyes when he looked at her, a coveting gaze that held no apology nor want for recompense. He was concerned only with the connection they shared, seeking to discover the borders of it, were there any. She felt so empty now, helpless to her need for Sasuke, and she wished he filled more than just her bed then.

While sex was not a common subject for her, she had done her research thanks to her collections of medical journals. She knew of the concept of virginity, and was well aware that in her social standing it was a requirement. The nobleman she married would expect a demure, chaste wife. Yet, she knew there were ways around that, and she was all too eager to act out her fantasies of Sasuke. But, informative as they were, her books had failed to describe how relentless desire was, how it would gnaw at her heart and pulsate at her cunt.

Sakura had not anticipated her body becoming a slave to passion, but that was how she felt; a knot of nerves coiled in suspense of relief. If she just heard her name on his lips one more time or felt his strong, sure hands on her body again, Sakura was certain she would come undone.

She gave a disparaged moan before letting her fingers travel beneath her robe. She petted her hidden nub, swollen with neglect, and began to work in small circles. Aware of the guard keeping watch in the other room, she bit her lip to silence herself.

She was tentative with her touch, allowing the pleasure to build slowly, imagining that Sasuke would coax her desire out languidly, despite his need for her. A cry of want became lodged in her throat. She had never felt such lascivious compulsions before, had never been so compelled by the thought of another person. Her other hand ran along the length of her slip and palmed her breast through the material. She let out a soft squeak and squeezed her pliant flesh harder, trying to emulate Sasuke's zeal. Her fingers quickened at her amenable clit, arousal heightening her pleasure and pleasure drowning her in scorching bliss. She wanted it to last, Kami, she wanted it to last. . .

Sakura tore her fingers away as her orgasm ripped through her. Her back arced sharply off her bed, her limbs shook from the strain of erotic indulgence, and still the fire in her heart burned. His striking gaze and sculpted face sat at the forefront of her mind, taunting her desire and her quest for completion. It was useless without him.

Sakura panted heavily, watching the darkness that spiraled over her ceiling. She wanted him. If there was a capacity to her desire, she knew he would be the one to find it; it had to be him. And when he found it, she wanted to witness that hunger in his eyes as he made her come.

* * *

Sakura did not open the doors for him the next morning, nor the morning after that. Her ladies in waiting filtered in and out of her rooms at various times. He would hear her laughter resonate through her chambers and ached to see the smile she presumably wore as she did, but he would not enter unless she invited him in.

She must be irate with him, he thought, but she needed to understand that he was only looking out for her wellbeing. It was impossible for them to be together without suffering repercussions for it. He doubted very highly that she felt so strongly for him that it assuaged all fears of consequence. Still, he wished he was in her sitting room with her, at her table, exchanging lighthearted quips and thoughtful sentiments. His wishes were all that kept him warm as he stood, without fail, in front of her doors.

Then, one afternoon she emerged with her envoy, dressed in a startlingly dark blue, floral patterned kimono, almost black in hue as though she were in mourning, with her hair twisted into a large bun that sat atop her head. Jewels hung from her tendrils and decorated her neck most ostensibly. He wondered what the occasion was, for he had never seen her put forth such an effort in her wardrobe. Undeniably, she was breathtaking, but his mind continued to wander back to the other night when she had stood on the frozen path with him, wind courting her hair as it pleased and not a jewel in sight fighting for attention against her. She had walked with him in only a silk robe and she was still the most beautiful being his eyes had ever been graced with.

Sakura did not spare him a single glance as she and her ladies wound down the trail of her gardens, but he knew it was his duty to follow her and he was thankful that he had to obey it. He trekked behind them at a safe distance, until he saw a man approach Sakura. Her ladies turned and giggled to each other, trading whispers. He was too far to hear the words exchanged, but Sakura nodded and took his arm. Her ladies remained behind, talking excitedly within their group. A few had looked to Sasuke, wondering if he would impose on Sakura and her courtier with his looming presence.

With a scrutinizing gaze, Sasuke traced her movements and the steps she took. Sakura was careful in her stride, floating almost, and straightening her posture as she looked up at the man. She smiled at something he said and nodded avidly. The man led her over to the bench by the willow tree, the snow having melted for that day, and sat beside her. He began to talk excitedly while Sakura nodded and listened, all the while never releasing his grasp on her hands.

This man was not Lee-san, but Sasuke failed to see the difference. He noted the way the man seemed to fawn over Sakura, gesturing to her ornate hair or simply grinning boyishly when she graced him with her laughter. Sasuke wondered, for just a moment, if he had ever looked at Sakura that way, as if she were a master with a bone and he a dog. How pathetic, he thought as he watched the scene play out. Still, this dog had a better stance of achieving something Sasuke never could.

Scowling, unable to turn away and defenseless against the pain that cracked his heart, Sasuke simply observed.

"Uzumaki-san," a soldier approached him, blocking his view of Sakura and her new suitor, "The Emperor requests your presence."

Sasuke nodded and proceeded to the Emperor's council room, grateful for a distraction, but unaware that Sakura followed his movements diligently.

* * *

"I have written a poem for you, Haruno-sama."

"Hibiki-san, how sweet," Sakura wished she could conjure a blush at will, but she had been gifted so many confessions of adoration that it failed to stir even a soft flutter of her heart. But she knew who could, and that man was currently walking away from her. She had no idea where he was going, he was meant to be looking after her, watching her every move, and drooling over her appearance like this man was.

"May I read it to you?" there was a timidity to his voice as he pulled the paper from his pocket.

"Of course," she forced her eyes back to him. She didn't want to hear another poem. She wanted to hear Sasuke whisper against her lips that he admired her and she wanted to feel his sturdy arms envelope her, hands slipping along her body as if she were his lifeline. Sakura twisted the fabric of her kimono in her hands as Hibiki's voice faded into static beside her.

* * *

"Uzumaki-san, I am sure Naruto-san has informed you of the dire situation we face at the battlefront," Emperor Kizashi paced around the table at the center of the empty room, eyes fixed on a map of dissected territories that lay there, "Each red pin represents another village lost to the Akatsuki," red covered the majority of the north, "The white represents the Hokage's territories," white spread through the western region, "We are isolated here, in the blue."

Kizashi's hand slammed down in the middle of the southern provinces where the smallest collection of pins resided. Sasuke kept his silence, standing firm in his stature. With a heavy sigh, Kizashi's hand clenched to a fist and he bowed his head.

"Our militia is spread thin, but I must find some way to supply them with more troops. I am not comfortable with trusting the Hokage. Not yet," Kizashi lifted his weary eyes, but Sasuke felt relief at his admission, "I know Naruto-san is correct in thinking there are spies among us. For that reason, I need you to remain behind. I know you had requested to be in Naruto-san's ranks, but I am unsure of who I can trust here. I fear I have only you and Hatake-san now," a deep frown had etched itself on Kizashi's face and Sasuke felt that, remarkably, it reflected his own bitter disappointment. How could he stay at the palace, restless, while Naruto fought a losing battle? "I suspect another attack may come sooner than we think, and much closer to home, as well."

"Sir?"

Kizashi paused in his thoughts, lost in the dissension of his strife.

"If we indeed are infested with spies from the Akatsuki, then I suspect their next target will be here, at the palace," the defeat in his voice was prominent and it sent a devastating chill down Sasuke's spine. Silence stretched through the cavernous room, weighted with the threat of war now at their doorstep, "Keep my daughter safe. Please," Kizashi's hand massaged the furrow of his brow, eyes closed, "Please, that is all that I ask. Just keep her safe."

Sasuke nodded brusquely, tightening his fists. So he was to remain there, useless as ever, while he lost another brother to the Akatsuki. Anger, fury, hatred, and encompassing despair swallowed Sasuke; he was falling into the darkness again, set adrift in its endless waters.

"Very well," he bowed low, but awaited Kizashi's dismissal before exiting the room.

* * *

A shadow loomed over Sasuke as he resumed his post in the gardens, and Sakura could see it as soon as she spotted him. Her knuckles were white with how tightly she gripped her skirt and she could not shake the buzzing in her ears. Sasuke's mind was miles away, with Naruto and his army on the battlefield, but Hibiki was focused on the woman in front of him.

"Might I be able to see you tomorrow?" Hibiki asked, and Sakura realized the static was talking to her.

"Perhaps," she spoke passively, unflinching from Sasuke's vacant gaze. He was looking through her, unaware of her, as something played out in his mind, "Excuse me."

She stood abruptly from her bench and strode past her ladies who watched her with curiosity, wondering if they should follow in her harried footsteps.

"Meet me in my rooms, please," she whispered, head lowered as she swept by Sasuke. For a moment he had been so captivated in his thoughts that he assumed he had not properly heard her, until he looked up and caught the glance she threw over her shoulder. He stepped into a measured stride, waiting for the inspecting gazes of her ladies and her suitor to drop in disinterest, and slipped through her doors.

She was on him in a second, pressing him into a corner of the room that the light of the window could not touch. Her lips attacked his to which he responded with fervor, before he seemed to catch himself.

"Sakura," he said breathlessly, pushing her back, yet still attempting to keep her in his grasp, hands settling at her slight wrists.

"What is wrong?" her eyes were wide with a fierce trepidation that led Sasuke to believe she was not inquiring about his refusal to kiss her. She pulled her arms free to link them around his neck. Her chest pressed against his and he felt his breath lodge in his throat.

"It is unimportant," he shook his head and fought the urge to clasp his hands at her delicate waist, accentuated by the obi she wore.

"Sasuke-kun, please tell me if something is wrong," she stroked his cheek, but he caught her hand before she could further entice him with her caress.

"What would it matter?" he frowned, "You will continue to bask in the attention from the many men who wait for you hand and foot."

Sakura fell silent at that, receding from him, looking every bit ashamed for her behavior, but it didn't make him feel better. He felt worse when he saw the corners of her lips turn down.

"I do not mean - ,"

"No, you are correct," she whispered, "I only wished to make you jealous, so that you might feel spurned as I did. And I did so only because I knew you would have to watch. It was petty of me, especially as you are clearly tormented," her bright, clear eyes, halted the words at his lips, "If you do not want to tell me what troubles you, I suppose I can do no more," What did she mean? "If you do not carry feelings for me, then please be plain with me. I would rather suffer the pain of honesty, than be pining for affections that are not truly there."

Sasuke heaved a burdened sigh, gaze razing her from head to toe, examining the utter fragility of her façade. He imagined that all it would take would be to remove an ornament from her hair, or to unravel the obi, and she would crumble before him, susceptive to the depth of her compassion.

"You know I can not lie to you," he inched towards Sakura, apprehensive to touch her, "I am no good at it. I am jealous of the men who may court you openly and flaunt their affections for you. It is something I will never be able to do."

"That is not what I need," her voice trembled as she extended her hands to capture one of his. She felt the rough pads of his fingers and thumbed each knuckle as she fell into contemplation. With his free hand, he curved it at the back of her neck and kissed the crown of her head. She reveled in the soft touch and marveled at the warmth that spread through her because of it. They stayed like that, close but not together, touching but not embracing, in silence, for what felt like an eternity.

She needed him; she had all but given that admission.

"I wish I could give you what you need," he murmured into the silky strands of her hair.

"Then, do not deny me any longer," she whispered, "Please."

He lifted her chin and dipped his head to meet her lips. He kissed her slow, agonizingly, achingly languorous. His tongue ran along the seam of her lips whereupon she parted them willingly to allow Sasuke access. His hands dropped to her waist and he pulled her flush to his body. Every nook and curve of her form met his, the two melting in to each other.

Sakura raked her fingers down his front, over the buttons of his uniform and began to undo them one by one. Sasuke groaned into their kiss, but Sakura only pushed her lips harder against his. Rather than respond in kind, though, he turned his face to the side, her lips catching on his jaw.

"Sasuke-kun, please," she was breathless, craving his touch, as she urged him to look at her. Sakura's hands gripped his cheeks and his eyes were forced to meet hers.

"No," he shook his head, but she would not remove her fingers.

"Please, do not be afraid of me," her gaze was probing, "Do not fear my feelings and do not hold back your own. I am going mad without you. I can not rid myself of this ache and it resonates to my very soul. I must have you near me, I need you to hold me, I need - "

Sasuke silenced her with a bruising kiss, spurred by the severity of her words and the profundity of her tone. She was tempting him, but he was an easy target, he thought. His discomfort was devoured by her assurance. And for a moment, he convinced himself that they were free to do as they pleased in the confines of her room.

Then, the bitter, remorselessness of reality collided in to him and he wasn't expecting it. He stole away from her, pacing to the doors and clenching his fingers around the handle.

"Don't leave," she pleaded and he had to shut his eyes to keep from looking back at her, "Sasuke-kun, please, stay with me, until tonight, until your shift ends. Just stay in here, with me."

He began to think that if he stood in contemplation any longer, he would be able to crush the handle in his palm.

"I am afraid of what I will do if we are alone together," he admitted, wrenching his eyes open, "I will wait outside until my replacement arrives."

He didn't give her time to respond, twisting the handle and rushing outside.

* * *

Sakura had dismissed her ladies when they enquired after her and retreated to the depths of her small library but found that she could retain none of its information. She meandered around the grand space of her sitting room, slipping in and out of her bedroom in utter agitation and boredom. The knowledge that Sasuke yearned for her so greatly and stood just on the other side of her walls was becoming too much to bear.

Then, someone knocked on the door. She ran to open it, but found only another guard standing in Sasuke's place.

"Good evening," she greeted him, realizing only then that night had fallen and it was time for Sasuke to return to the barracks.

"Good evening, Haruno-sama. Shall I light the fire?"

She stepped aside to let him enter, peering around the corner of the door to see Sasuke's hunched back as he retreated down the path to his room.

"Yes, please. Excuse me, but I'll be back in a moment," she practically ran out the doors and after Sasuke, but slowed to a walk when she noticed the many guards waltzing around, having just ended their shifts as well, "Uzumaki-san," she called out, in case anyone was paying attention. He stopped and turned to face her with a trepidation that did not go unnoticed.

"Haruno-sama," he responded, for all intents and purposes. She stepped up to him gingerly so that they might speak with some privacy. The snow still left on the ground crunched beneath her feet as she approached, pronouncing her steps.

"I have to know," she began, fingers fumbling together, "I have to know what this all means. How do you intend to proceed with these feelings? If at all? And if you do not, then how can I persuade you to change your mind?" he regarded her carefully but still did not speak. The number of passersby was dwindling, soon it would just be the two of them out in the cold, only the other to seek solace from, "I can not simply let these things lie; you are difficult to ignore."

"As are you," his hands were stuffed into his pockets and she suspected that it had more to do with restraint than the bite in the air.

"Then I implore you not to. I have never felt so strongly for another and I do not wish to have someone grace my bed if they are not you."

"Sakura, that is a foolish thought," he grit his teeth and looked away before snapping his burning gaze back to her, "You think I do not want the same things? That I do not crave it so viciously? I would like to take you back to your rooms and have you in the most uncouth ways, but I am tethered by obligation. It is only one of the many reasons we can not have such interactions," he ended on a snarl and expected a fiery retaliation from her, but all she did was whisper,

"Would you?"

Sasuke breathed deeply, hoping the chill of the air might help the heat in his body subside.

"Of course," his voice was quiet then, conquered by his vulnerability with her.

"Have me," she shrugged her shoulders as if it were nothing, "You possess so much of my being already, I can not imagine I will be any worse off if you possess all of me."

"You will be," he sighed heavily, "Believe me in this."

"I have no reason to," she countered, "Is it because of what happened today?"

"What?"

"You were distraught over something. Is that why you wish to shut me out?"

"Sakura, no," he shook his head, "You can never be in my life, just as I am not meant in yours. There are areas of this world that we do not belong to and places that we are meant for. My place is not here, it is not by your side, it is not in your bed, much as we might pine that it could be. There are things in my life that should be kept far away from you, lest they damage you as they have me."

"And so, by extension, you think you should be kept far from me?"

"I am certain of it," he said, disregarding the Emperor's request of him just hours earlier.

"You will not share with me your plight?"

"My _plight_ is not yours to carry," he spoke with a somber tone, but kept her level gaze.

"Do you deny everyone as you have me?" Sakura questioned not of his desire for her, but simply his connection to those he interacted with.

"You are no exception," he murmured, "There are things you should not know of me."

"I want to know it all," she persisted, itching to reach for some part of him now that they stood alone in the dark of the night.

"How can you say that?" he asked, incredulous.

"There is no thing you could have done that would so sway my feelings in the other direction," the fire within her showed itself then and her disclosure to him caused his heart to skip in his chest. He wanted her; he wanted to tell her everything, to divulge his secrets to her and let her keep them safe, to tell her that he felt the same, to tell her that he did not care that they were world's apart, because when it was just the two of them - When it was just the two of them, secluded in her room and seated at her table, it felt like they had found their _own_ world.

He stepped close to her then, reaching a hand up to stroke her cheek. Sakura turned into the soft touch, closing her eyes when he pressed his lips to her forehead. His mouth seared her skin, burned the imprint of his lips on her, marking her as his, and then he turned away, leaving her alone in the garden.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bet you guys thought I was dead 'cause I didn't update for TWO WHOLE DAYS. Schoolwork and life got in the way, boo. At some point I suppose (though I hope I won't be) that I'll stop being surprised by how awesome you guys are. You leave such lovely reviews and more than half the time they make me crack up. Enjoy!**

* * *

She could still feel his lips on her skin, so soft and tender as he attempted to pour every feeling he had into the gesture. She closed her eyes as the wind pulled tendrils of pink hair free from her bun. He was still there, in her mind, walking away from her with his shoulders pinched by the burdens he carried. The longer she replayed it behind her eyes, his devastating words echoing there, too, the more she felt her heart sink.

Would she be confined to this state of limbo with him so frustratingly close and so horribly far away all at once? This constant push and pull she felt, like threads wound through her body, was a relentless thing. She had any man to pick from, she thought, and yet she knew they could not hold a candle to Sasuke. He commanded her attention with his presence and somehow gave Sakura much the same whenever they were together.

She blinked her eyes open and began to trudge through the snow to her chambers. Another night alone, she mused, tangled in the unending net of her desire for him. The door was still open for her and so she slipped inside, but stopped dead in her steps. Her guard lay slain on the floor by the fire, blood pooling to the center of the room and stretching through the cracks in the wood until it reached her feet. As she opened her mouth, the cold steel of a blade pressed against her throat.

"If you scream, I will kill you."

* * *

For the first time in a long while, Sasuke sat with his fellow soldiers in the mess hall. The room was loud, filled with the chatter of genial persons. He felt out of place, seated by himself, and yet entirely interchangeable as they were a sea of the same uniforms, partaking in food so tasteless in comparison to what he'd enjoyed with Sakura. He pushed the rations around his platter, remembering the way Sakura would dissect their meals and separate them accordingly.

He was quickly losing his appetite; he had no hunger for food, he yearned only for her. He felt himself caught in a conundrum of sorts. If he stayed in this uncomfortable room, eating this abysmal food, he would be hounded with thoughts of her, improper things to be thinking at the dinner table. And he could not promise himself that he would be able to keep them at bay. But if he retreated to the barracks and attempted to sleep, he was certain the nightmares were waiting for him. He was not sure what terrified him more at that moment.

A guard approached the seat opposite Sasuke and took it without preamble. Sasuke recognized him as the one who had delivered Naruto's letter. He was a broad, albeit squat man with a noticeable scar that ran down his left cheek. He offered Sasuke a polite nod before tearing into the charred meat with his utensils on his plate. He caught Sasuke's gaze as he lifted his fork.

"I knew your brother," the guard said through a mouthful. Sasuke frowned, it was not uncommon for other soldiers to know a general in the Emperor's army.

"He is well known," Sasuke answered, attempting to be pleasant, but finding that he was content in his solitude.

"Naruto? Yes," the guard nodded as his knife scraped against his plate, "The Uzumaki's have always been a prominent family in Konoha, always in high favor with the Emperor. Interesting that two brothers of the same upbringing end up in such different rankings. Why is it that you are merely a palace guard while the other Uzumaki is a respected general?"

Sasuke bristled; he did not care for this man's attitude. He picked up his plate of sparsely eaten rations and stood brusquely. The man banged his fist rather forcefully on the table, but it was hardly heard over the chatter in the room.

"Sit down, Uchiha," the guard hissed with a sneer, fixing Sasuke with a cold glare. Sasuke froze, eyes darting to the other tables in fear that somebody had heard that name. But it appeared nobody had as they all continued on in their blissful ignorance. The man had paused the enjoyment of his dinner until Sasuke resumed his seat. Sasuke fisted his hands on the table, sweat beading at the nape of his neck, "You resemble your brother greatly, one might think you and Itachi were twins."

"How do you - ,"

"Do you prefer to be unknown? Is that why you have not joined the army?" the man scrutinized him for a brief moment, "No, you are restless in the shadows. Is it that you are afraid somebody might recognize you if you step too far out into the light? Letting fear control you, how alike your brother you are," Sasuke furrowed his brows; what was he getting at? "He never could sit still for long."

The cold prickle of unease crept up Sasuke's back as the man spoke. He set down his utensils and rested his arms on the table. Sasuke caught the beginning's of a tattoo on the man's forearm, before he shoved the sleeve of his shirt down.

"Yes, I knew your brother well. He gave me this," the man tapped the scar on his face with a bemused look, "He used to come to my family's home in Konoha, to court my sister. He was quite taken with her. He brought her flowers, wrote to her everyday. He had the intent to marry her, but your clan would not hear of it. The next leader of the Uchiha's marrying outside of the bloodline, to a commoner no less; it was absurd. It failed to stall his interest in her, however."

"Who are you?"

"I was a farmer," the man paused, losing himself in thought for a moment, "Now, I am a warrior. I never thought I would be; I was satisfied by my life in Konoha. But your family ruined that, didn't they?"

"My family did nothing wrong," Sasuke protested before he could stop himself.

"They did _everything_. My sister is _dead_ because of Itachi," the man spat venomous words that silenced Sasuke abruptly, "They had made plans to marry in secret one night. She waited for him at the gates to Konoha when the Akatsuki came. They slaughtered her and left her to die in the open like an animal," the man's voice raised, causing a couple eyes to dart in their direction. He took a deep breath before continuing, leveling his voice then, "And now she is gone forever."

* * *

"Are you one of them?" Sakura's lip trembled as she stood in the puddle of another person's blood, "Are you one of the Akatsuki?"

"Quiet!" the man behind her tightened his hold at her wrists, blade still pressed to her throat.

"If you wish to kill me then please just do it!" she said suddenly, "Why do you wait?"

"I should like to keep you alive, but if you insist on talking so much, I may have to reconsider," she heard the man shift behind her, nudging her around the room so that they faced the window. The candle beside it flickered as a wind blew in from the open doors. The man spoke quietly, "We wait for the signal."

* * *

"Why are you telling me this?" Sasuke's fingers dug into his palms as the warrior fell silent.

"To keep her alive. To remind myself that she once existed," his voice was barely above a whisper as he stood from the table, "And so that you _know_ you are about to pay for your family's mistakes."

A deafening blast sounded from outside and all heads turned to the window where a towering inferno could be seen on the other side of the lake, spiraling into the sky. As everyone rushed for the doors, Sasuke turned around and saw the man slinking through the crowds, out the back door. Sasuke ran after him, pushing through the frantic bodies and trying to keep the warrior in his line of sight.

He broke through into the chill of the night and caught the man running around the backside of the mess hall.

* * *

Sakura jumped when she heard the explosion, but the man held her fast. She assumed that was the signal, but still the blade at her throat did not move. Her breathing hitched as she struggled to pinpoint the sight of the blast. It was just opposite the lake, but far from the barracks or any other palace building. So, what were they trying to hit?

* * *

Sasuke ran away from the crowd descending on the sight of the detonation, tearing through the snowy paths after the man. He was heading for the shadows between buildings where Sasuke knew he would lose sight of him. Sasuke pulled a blade out from the belt at his thigh, aiming at the figure plowing ahead of him and threw it at the man, catching him in the center of his back. The man stuttered in his steps and fell to his knees, crying out in pain. Sasuke caught the man before he fell forward and yanked his head back so that he could see the dark of his eyes. He was supporting most of his weight so that the warrior did not collapse in the snow. With a sharp twist of the knife in his back by Sasuke's brutal hand, he let out a sharp wail.

"The explosion was a distraction, was it not?" Sasuke spoke with a monotonous tone. When he was met with silence, he twisted the knife once more, "The explosion was a distraction! What are you here for?!"

"I - F - I found Itachi hiding in the forest that night," he made an odd, garbled noise. Then, there was another twist of the knife and another painful cry, as anger boiled in Sasuke's blood. The images of Kushina handing Itachi the cloak, Itachi darting into the forest, lost to Sasuke forever - they floated to the front of his mind, pressing upon him most insistently.

"Did you come simply to taunt me?" Sasuke felt a sightless rage taking over him, "Do you intend to turn me in to the Emperor as a traitor?!" the man shook his head limply, shifting forward before Sasuke caught him.

"That is when - gave me the scar."

"Were you attempting to take the Emperor's life?"

"Not - his," the man was choking on his shuddered breaths, eyes rolling to the back of his head, on the verge of blacking out. Blood was covering Sasuke's hand as he kept his grip tight on the knife in the man's back, "I killed him - killed your brother," the man took in a rough, shaking breath, "Traitorous snake!"

"Who?! Who did you come for?!" Sasuke yanked the blade out and the man fell forward with a thump to the ground. The man was searching wildly, slipping over Sasuke, unable to focus his gaze. Sasuke shook as he looked down at the warrior. He could kill him, wanted to so desperately in that moment, restraining himself only by the loyalty he had for the Emperor. But this man was tasking him to stack it against the loyalty he held for his clan, for his slain brother, and that was not something Sasuke could keep up for long.

"It's - late. Too late, Uchiha. If I don't come - take her," the man coughed, blood and spittle dribbling down his chin and onto the pure snow, "He will take her, if I don't come. He will take her."

Sasuke felt the color drain from his face, the word cutting through him, opening his veins to filter only fear through his body; _her._

"Sakura," his breath hitched and he turned on a heel, darting back to the gardens.

* * *

"Shit," the man cursed and pulled Sakura away from the window, twisting her wrists painfully so. He pushed her forward to get her walking toward the doors, just as Sasuke rounded them, stopping in his tracks as he took in the sight before him. Tears were welling in Sakura's eyes, her arms pulled sharply behind her back, as a white-masked man stood behind her, pressing a glinting blade to her delicate throat. But, despite the tremor in her lips and the tear that raced down her cheek, Sasuke could see the relief apparent in her eyes.

"Do not move, or I will kill her," the man threatened with a disgusted sneer on his face. He pushed Sakura to her knees, so as to assure she could not move away so easily.

The blood on the floor took to her kimono as though it were a rag meant only to soak it up. Her shoulders trembled as they were forced back.

Sasuke had a feeling all too familiar infiltrating his body then, a powerlessness that consumed him and rooted his feet in place. But he had to move, he had to do something. It was not just an obligation to his job, it became a baser need that began in the core of his being and coiled itself through his mind. It was imperative that he saved her, that he held her again, and kissed her tears away.

"Sasuke-kun, I - ," the man cut her off with a sharp wrench of her arms, causing her to cry out in pain. Sasuke started to run to her, but the man pushed the blade ever closer against Sakura's neck. It was a sight that burned itself behind Sasuke's eyes, a sound that rang in his ears, and one that he desperately wished to forget. Her ethereal features were twisted and her seraphic voice became gnarled, marred by the agony she was put in.

"I warned you," the man snarled, "Let us leave peacefully and no harm will come to her."

"Sakura, do not move," Sasuke clutched the blood soaked knife tighter and watched the man's eyes twitch to his hand. Sakura stiffened and then tried to twist out of his grasp, but he yanked her closer.

"Let us leave and she lives," the man repeated, clutching the hilt by her neck tighter, but giving no intention other than words that he would use it, "Let us - ,"

Sasuke threw his weapon and it lodged in the man's chest, cutting his breath short. He teetered on his feet, sword clattering to the floor as he reached for the knife, only to crumple to the bloody floor. Sakura scrambled away and Sasuke ran to her, taking her in his arms. He crushed her against him as she cried into his shirt, shaking despite his tight hold on her. The man's last, wheezing breaths filled the space and caused Sakura to flinch with every one he took.

Sasuke pushed her back into the privacy of her bedroom and shut the door behind him. Darkness shrouded them, save for the windows that filtered moonlight into the area, but in there she did not have to see the bodies laying carelessly on the floor in the other room.

"I'm so sorry," he stroked her hair, petted her back, held her waist, hands moving to any piece of her he could grasp. He didn't know why he was apologizing, but he kept on, "I'm so sorry, Sakura."

"Sasuke-kun," her fingers dug into his back and she looked up to him but he silenced her with a demanding kiss. He gave in to his need for her then, pulling free her bun and twisting his hands in her locks to urge her closer. He bit her lip, sucked it into his mouth, laved upon it with his tongue, because he could not bear to hear her say that she had been afraid, that she had feared for her life the way he had, "Sasuke-kun," she broke away, lips still ghosting the other's, exchanging harsh breaths. Sasuke rested his forehead against hers, eyes wide open, searching through the tangle of emotions that lay within hers. His cheek grazed her jaw and he leaned in to kiss her again, but she turned her head to the side, "Sasuke-kun," she whispered again, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Thank you," her breath was warm on his skin, inspiring chills down his spine. Sasuke tightened his grip on her.

"Did he hurt you?" Sakura felt his pulse quicken as soon as he'd uttered the question and she shook her head.

"Not terribly," she murmured, feeling the beginnings of sore muscles and bruises along her arms. Sasuke sighed heavily, a mixture of relief and somehow, still, a measurable amount of anger.

"I should not have left you tonight," he admitted, but the notion had not even occurred to her. She was not resentful that he had not been with her; he had still come back.

"Hush," her lips brushed his neck, when suddenly she remembered, "The explosion! What happened?"

She lifted her eyes to look at him, but he shook his head.

"I don't know," he swallowed harshly, "I think it was a diversion, but I do not know if anyone was hurt."

"How did you know to come here?" as soon as the words left her mouth, she saw in the dim light of the moon that familiar shadow fall over his features. Something had happened, she knew. It was that same something that he kept hidden, locked away in that part of him that she wished to know.

"There was another one, at dinner, another soldier, not one of ours," his words were jumbled as he tried to think of a way to make sense of it without speaking the truth, "He came to me and he told me there would be an attack," Sasuke conceded.

"He _told_ you?" Sakura inquired with disbelief.

"Yes. I will speak no more on the matter," he said, then realized the harshness of his tone and reconciled, "Please, do not ask me to."

"How can you expect me not to?"

"Sakura, please. I am just glad you are safe, now."

"Tell me what happened," she persisted, brows furrowed in disbelief.

"There is nothing more to tell," he snapped. She flinched from his words. Sakura pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed it as countless thoughts circled her mind. Unanswered questions lay in wait at the tip of her tongue, but all she spoke was,

"I can not have half of you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura slipped free of his arms and ran out of the doors into her sitting room then into the cold night. Sasuke ran after her, past the lifeless bodies, catching her arm and stopping her on the path. They could see the commotion on the other side of the lake, smoke still billowing up to the clouds, but the fire had died.

"Do not run from me now," he pleaded, but she refused his gaze, "It is not safe."

"I am going to find my father," she said sternly, "I must know that he is okay."

"Very well, but I will take you," he bartered.

"Do not hold any manner of pretense with me that might suggest you would allow me your affections," her words were vicious but he understood her anger. He had lost control of himself in the sanctity of her rooms.

"It is the truth: you, above anyone else, holds my attention."

"Do not say such things to me," she lost the fury in her voice then, her words breaking as they left her lips, "It is not fair to tell me I can have you and yet not give yourself to me fully."

"I am sorry I kissed you," his voice crescendoed as he continued, "He had you by the throat! I thought he would kill you! I thought that I would never see you smile, nor feel your lips, nor be captivated by your words again," he held her face in his bloodied hands, urging her eyes up to his, "I was scared," he admitted quietly, looking as though he might lean in to kiss her again, "So scared."

Her fingers reached up to settle over his, but she pried them carefully free from her.

"I understand," she gulped and dropped her gaze, "I feared the same. But, as I said, I can not have half of you, Sasuke-kun; my heart can not stand it," she began to turn away from him, though her fingers stroked his knuckles absently, "And I wish you would not be sorry for kissing me."

"Haruno-sama! Are you all right?!" a menagerie of men, nobles and soldiers alike, came rushing through the gardens to Sakura. She dropped Sasuke's hands promptly and stepped a safe distance away. Lee was the first to reach her and took her into his side, roping an arm around her shoulders. He led her away quickly, "Your father is safe in a room underground. He awaits you there."

Sasuke watched her walk away from him, flanked by her envoy so much so that he quickly lost sight of her in the crowd. He supposed he should get used to the sight of her leaving him behind, if he wasn't already.

Forcing himself away, Sasuke reentered her sitting room and took in the gory scene that spread itself out to each wall. He was not mindful of where he stepped as he could see no clear path around the streams of blood. The scarlet fluid coated the mantle of her fireplace and had even tarnished a couple books set atop there. The guard that lay there was familiar to Sasuke, but he was not close with any of his fellow soldiers. As he took in the vacancy of the guard's eyes, it only reinforced why Sasuke lacked so many friendships.

And Sakura - well, that reinforced _numerous_ things for him.

He trudged over to the foreign man laying at the foot of her throne and took off the white mask, resembling something found in kabuki, his open, lifeless eyes staring to the ceiling. Sasuke had never seen him before; he was a young man with a smattering of facial hair that approached a tattoo at his neck. Sasuke pulled the collar of the man's shirt aside to reveal a swirling red cloud at the juncture of his shoulder.

Akatsuki. The Emperor was right. Sasuke stood quickly and paced about the room. It didn't make any sense. If that other man, the farmer from Konoha, if he was Akatsuki, did he lie about his sister and Itachi? Why would he join the group that killed his sister? Sasuke frowned, he'd never heard his brother speak about a woman, either.

But then, how could the man know who Sasuke was? And if they had truly intended to harm Sakura, why hadn't they?

"Uzumaki-san," a guard stepped through the doors and blanched upon seeing the gruesome picture awaiting him. He paused, eyes unable to settle on any one part of the room, least of all on Sasuke, "The Emperor needs to see you."

Sasuke nodded and began toward the doors but paused when he stepped by the table at the window. A candle still burned beside her open books. He took up the medical journals and blew out the flame before following the man outside.


	7. Chapter 7

**Things are getting juicy! Somebody left a review saying the plot was thickening. . . Well, that's not the only thing getting thick around here. Enjoy!**

* * *

"You are a man of your word, Uzumaki-san," the Emperor sat at the table beside him. They were in the council room once more, but this time Hatake Kakashi stood off to the side, listening in, watching with the one eye he kept uncovered, "You have no idea how greatly I value that," the Emperor clasped a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, "I am eternally grateful to you for my daughter's life."

"Sir, it wasn - ,"

"It may have been nothing to you," Kizashi cut him off softly, "But she is _everything_ to me."

"Your gratitude is appreciated," Sasuke bowed his head briefly, tightening his hold on the books in his lap. Kizashi took his hand back, folding both of them on the table.

"Tell me what you know of them."

"They were Akatsuki. They had tattoos, one I got a clear look at, but I would bet that the other one had the same symbol."

"What symbol?" Kakashi pushed off from the wall and stepped up to the table, "The red cloud?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Perhaps we have others within our ranks that have that emblem," Kizashi regarded Kakashi for a moment, "I believe an inspection is required. Anyone with that symbol - if it is a tattoo, clothing - if it is on anything, we take them in for questioning. Let them know that if they fail to produce information they will be executed. I will not tolerate treason but I may be persuaded to leniency if they prove useful."

"Yes, sir," Kakashi nodded and they both turned their gaze back to Sasuke.

"One of them was from Konoha, he was once a farmer."

"Konoha?" Kizashi thumbed his sideburns, following their trail and Sasuke was struck for a moment by how much the action reminded him of how Sakura would plait her hair as she contemplated, "Did he know your family?"

"No," Sasuke shook his head, his throat becoming tight, "Not personally."

"Right," Kizashi fell silent once more, eyes staring into the wood of the table as though it held the answers he sought.

"He said he lost his sister to the Akatsuki and - ,"

"And yet he joined them," Kakashi marveled at the notion as he completed Sasuke's statement.

"The explosion was a diversion, right?" Sasuke asked. Kakashi nodded.

"A diversion, or a complete misfire. They set it off in a field about a quarter mile from the lake, but there's nothing there, except for trees. There was no trace of anyone having been there by the time we arrived."

"He had her to himself," Sasuke spoke under his breath before his eyes met Kizashi's, "They could have killed her the second they got into her rooms."

"They need her," Kakashi mused, "For ransom?"

"They have the resources, what more could they possibly want?" Kizashi stood abruptly, throwing his hands in the air.

"Your throne," Sasuke answered and the room fell silent.

"They could take it," Kizashi shook his head, tired eyes falling to the floor, "They have the power to take it in a second and yet they play with us like a predator with its prey."

"You have the support of your people, sir," Kakashi offered, "If the throne is given instead of taken, it would make them appear more favorable."

"They have razed villages in the name of absolute authority," Sasuke said, incredulous to the thought that the people would forgive and forget that fact merely if the Emperor were to allow them ascension of the throne.

"I am not agreeing with them, Uzumaki-san," Kakashi said gingerly, "But we need to consider possibilities."

"It may very well be their plan," Kizashi meandered around the sparse room, passing the maps hung on the walls, the exotic books lining the shelves, "But it is not a possibility. I will not let them have that much power."

"I do remember the farmer saying the other man would take her if he fell behind," Sasuke's throat felt dry, the image of Sakura against a blade pervading his stream of thoughts. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to quell the sickening fear that rose within him.

"I do not suppose he said where?" Kakashi asked, but Sasuke shook his head, "And was there anything else?"

"No."

Kizashi nodded and bowed to Sasuke. He returned the gesture and held out the books he'd been holding on to.

"I am sure she will not be staying in her rooms for a while, so I thought Haruno-sama might want these," Sasuke said politely. Kizashi took the books, turning them over in his hands with an amused smile.

"She will be happy to have these, I know," Kizashi nodded his head, "I am moving her to the south building, until I am certain I can trust the rest of my soldiers. It has not been used in some time, but I would like to offer you one of the rooms there."

"Sir, I - ,"

"Truthfully, I do not want you far from her, at least until Kakashi-san has had the opportunity to eliminate any other internal threats. I don't suspect they will be making any moves for an attack until they realize their soldiers have failed; I suggest you catch up on some rest," Kizashi smiled warmly at him, but there was a slight agitation in his eyes, "Please take some time to gather your things from the barracks. I do ask that you use discretion. Do not tell anyone where you are going, nor where Sakura will be."

"Of course," Sasuke nodded, but he could not contain the twitch in his fingers. He fisted his hands, bowed to them, and took his leave.

* * *

By the time he exited the barracks, the sky was lightening, glowing with pink and orange hues. At this hour, on a normal day, the palace would only just be coming alive, but it seemed everyone was still stirring from the restless night. Sasuke slung his pack over his shoulder and paved a new path down to the south side of the palace grounds. The lone building that resided there was home to guests during the summer. It was a modest size with five separate rooms that had been lavishly decorated the last time Sasuke had been stationed there.

But now, it seemed to fall short of his memory as an advisor to Kizashi pushed open the door and led Sasuke into the dismal, empty hallway. He handed Sasuke a key, explaining that it could be used for any room in the property.

"This is where you will stay," the advisor motioned to his left, then gestured to his right, "Haruno-sama will be in here. You will be the primary guard, but we will have someone stationed outside of the building, once the investigation has been finished. Until then, it is only you."

"Uzumaki-san," Sakura rounded the corner of one of the other rooms. She gave the advisor a courteous nod and settled her eyes on Sasuke. She had a sweet smile on her face, but it did not reach her piercing gaze. She was still dressed in her bloodied kimono, "My father told me you would be looking after me now, thank you."

The gratitude she offered was empty, the words failing to provide any depth to her tone. But the advisor only smiled and bowed before exiting the premises. The sound of the door shutting resounded in the hallway and emphasized the capacity of the space around them.

"It was upon his insistence, not mine," Sasuke reasoned.

"I knew as much," her voice lilted, "And now you are confined to my company indefinitely."

"There are worse things," he spoke softly, cursing the thoughts of her laying lifeless as one of the bodies in her rooms when it appeared in his mind. She saw the haunted veil in his eyes and understood what he meant. She felt an ache in her very bones, a demand to quell his discomfort and assure him that she was all right, that she was there, alive, and sharing that moment with him.

"Thank you for my books."

"If you would like me to get you the rest - ,"

"No, Sasuke-kun," she shook her head and bit her lip to contain her smile, "The thought was enough."

"Enough for what?"

"You can cease your attempts to outdo your own selfless acts," she cocked her head to the side playfully, but there was something that disturbed her gaze, affecting the brightness in her eyes, "You have already saved my life; you will not be able to win my gratitude so greatly with anything else."

"You know that is not why I did it," he meant his voice to sound firm, but the words came out almost as if they were a question, "I do not seek your favor. I will not pine for you the way Lee-san and those other men do. I will not sit idly by and write poetry and hope that some day you might notice me," he kept his voice level, but found his nerves racked with unease, "I do not do these things because I am trying to manipulate your attention. I want you safe and happy," he clenched his fists so that he would not reach for her, "It sickens me when I think that you have been anything otherwise."

"Sasuke-kun, I - ," her gaze calmed.

"I was terrified, Sakura. I thought he would kill you. I didn't - I could not - ," he let out a frustrated growl, but softened when he saw the tears in her eyes and the ones that wet her cheeks.

She ducked her head and moved into her room. He followed her adeptly, entering on her heel. They had dressed her bed, filled her tub with steaming water and supplied her with firewood, but the space was about half the size of the sitting room they'd once occupied on many an afternoon. The curtains over her window were drawn, thick cloth refusing the daylight. She threw a look over her shoulder that caused Sasuke to stop in his steps. Did she not want him here?

Sakura walked up to him, eyes glinting with an ocean of sorrow, and turned once they were a foot apart, back facing him. She gathered the loose tendrils of her hair in her hands and pulled them over her shoulder, "Will you help me?"

For a long moment, Sasuke was truly perplexed by her question. But then it dawned on him, and he felt a surge of heat rushing to his face.

"Sakura, I - I ca - ,"

She turned her head slightly and he saw fear in her widened gaze. She furrowed her brows at him and released her hair with a distorted huff, fingers flying to the tie of the obi. She fumbled with the large knot as tears of frustration streamed down her cheeks. She began to yank at the thick cloth but it would not budge. Her knuckles were whited with the effort she put forth, but in her haste she failed to unravel the intricate tie.

"I do not care if you must cut me out of this damned thing, but I can not have this blood on me any longer - ,"

He felt a piece of his heart crumble for her then, seeing the damage she was trying to hide rear its head. He did not want to see her so pained, so traumatized as when she had been forced to her knees in a pool of blood that did not belong to her.

He pried her trembling hands away and began to pull at the edges until it came free. He let the obi fall to the ground and moved his fingers around to the front of her waist. She took a step back as he began to pull the buttons of her outer dress free, tired frame trusting in the expanse of his chest. He tugged it down her arms and it joined the obi on the floor. Next, he went to unlacing the back of her corset, feeling as though he were unwrapping a present with incredible rapidity.

Sasuke's fingers moved of their own accord, or at least that's what he told himself, but deep down he knew it was that baser need, that instinct he had around her that guided him to action. He yanked the laces out and her corset fell from her body. He undid the ribbons at her front that held the last piece of her clothing together, one by one, until Sakura helped him, tearing at them so frantically she ripped them from the cloth. He pulled the fabric off of her shoulders and she was left only in her undergarment: a small piece of lace concealing her nether regions.

For a moment, only their stuttered breaths filled the space around them, then his fingers settled on the soft skin of her shoulders. His touch glanced her flesh and then tightened around her.

"I was so scared," he dropped his head to her neck, whispering into her ear. She choked on a sob and raised her hands to tangle in his hair, scraping against his scalp, "I can not stop seeing you like that," his voice became hoarse, wrung with distress, "I was afraid I would lose you forever."

"You can not lose me," she whispered, leaning closer to his structure. Her lip trembled, "You do not have me."

Sasuke swallowed thickly and hid his face at the juncture of her neck. She was pressed against him, her body aligned with his and he could feel himself harden at the thoughts that assaulted his mind because of it.

"I want to," his voice was muffled and weak, strained by the burden of his need for her.

"Wanting me at convenience will not suffice, Sasuke-kun," she murmured.

"There has never been a moment where I have not wanted you," his fingers ran down her arms to clasp her hands, "There have only ever been moments where I have had to deny myself you."

"You still deny me, Sasuke-kun," she stepped out of his grasp and moved to her bath. She unraveled the satin bows holding up her panties and they fell like a feather at her feet. She heard him choke on his breath, but her voice did not waver as she spoke "If you truly want me, all you must do is join me. If you do not want to, you are free to return to your room and you will hear no more of this from me."

He wanted to hear more, he wanted to hear everything from her lips. Sakura turned, holding her bruised arm over her breasts and cupping her sex in modesty. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he took in the entirety of her flushed, bare flesh. Almost every swell and curve of her body was open to his gluttonous gaze. She waited with bated breath to hear his answer.

But he never spoke it. Instead, Sasuke knelt down, eyes leaving hers simply to pull at the laces of his boots. When he had slipped them off, he stood and unzipped his vest. Sakura reached her hands out, revealing every inch of her skin, and shoved his vest down. It joined the mass of her clothing. She unbuttoned his shirt and rolled the sleeves down his arms. She had seen him shirtless before, but to be up close, to be able to touch the planes of his chest, the hard cut of his muscles - her fingers danced over his skin, coming upon the trail of dark hair at his abdomen that disappeared beneath the waistband of his pants. He caught her wrist as she began to play with the leather of his belt. He was throbbing against the placket of his pants.

"You have a duty to your title and to your future husband."

"Tonight, my only duty is to you," she leaned up to kiss him and his heart swelled at her words. His lips moved over hers with a measure of desperation and leisurely enjoyment while her fingers made quick work of his buckle. A thought flashed at the forefront of his mind, flickering like a candle:

This was wrong.

He couldn't do this.

She couldn't do this.

They were too different, too far apart and striving too much to be so close together.

But the beat of his heart and the blood rushing south soon snuffed out that candle.

Her hands undid the button of his waistband and pulled down his zipper, but she did not reach for him. She slipped away from him, lowering herself into the large tub. She watched with crazed and lustful eyes as he stepped out of his pants, his turgid length springing free. He felt hot under her gaze and hurried into the bath, settling behind her. His legs spread so that they were on either side of her and she scooted herself back against his chest. The curve of her backside was flush with his member under the water; she could feel him thrumming against her and it prompted an ache in her core.

Sasuke circled his arms around her, skimming the bottom of her breasts, and she clasped her hands over his, head coming to rest on his shoulder. She lost herself, briefly, to the intimacy of the moment. She imagined that this could be any day, despite the dried blood on her knees, that this could be routine for them. She felt his unsteady breath brush her neck, but it soothed her to know that she was not the only one racked by nerves. She closed her eyes when his lips fell to her exposed shoulder.

"Sasuke-kun," she moaned when he began to suck at the tender skin there and she felt him twitch against her. She had no frame of reference, but he seemed big, long and thick at her hip.

"Sakura," his voice was breathless, his fingers running beneath the water to glide along her skin. She parted her legs as he slid over the inside of her thighs. A shiver ran through her as he passed over her quivering sex. When he bit her neck and dug his fingers into her pliant flesh, she moaned and jerked against him "You are far too tempting."

"I seek only to tempt you," she had unsteady breath and twisted in his grasp, the water sloshing from side to side in the tub as she moved to straddle his waist. Sakura was sitting in his lap, the strength of his rigid member pressing against her pulsing entrance. He set his jaw tight, eyes captive in her gaze, "I wore that for you."

She gestured flippantly to the heap of blue cloth on the floor.

"I told you, there is not a moment I do not desire you," his fingers dug into her hips to keep her still; he could feel her heat over his cock and it was clouding his mind with incessant thoughts of ravishing her, especially given their positioning. Her breasts sat pert, invitingly in front of him. He feared that if he so much as inched his fingers he would not be able to control himself, "I desire you at any hour of the day, no matter how frivolous or plain your wardrobe."

"I think you should try your hand at poetry," she smiled coyly, leaning closer to him, "Your words incite passion within me where others fail."

Sasuke smirked.

"What do they say?"

Sakura grinned and held her hand up, eyes flicking to the ceiling with a reverential gaze.

"Oh, Haruno-sama, your jade orbs are more vibrant than the trees of the forest," she giggled when Sasuke gave her a look of irritation, "Your smile shines brighter than the sun itself," she stalled her laughter when Sasuke's expression sobered and murmured, "Something like that; it all sounds the same."

"Do they ever remark on your intelligence?" she shook her head softly, "Or your compassion?" another no, "How about your humor?" again she shook her head, "Pity," he murmured, eyes shining with mirth.

"If you can see them, then that is all I care for," she whispered, sliding down his body to lay against his chest. She pressed her ear against his heart, listening to its beat while the bath water lapped at her lobe. With the curtains of her room closed and the quiet between them, it was hard to imagine that it was still daytime just outside. "Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn?"

"Have you - ," she paused, furrowing her brows, "I do not wish to make you upset, but have you killed anyone before?"

"Yes," his response rumbled in his chest, "They were not the first."

"Do you ever feel - ,"

"There is no point in feeling remorse," he said stiffly, but tightened his grip on her, "But sometimes it is a difficult thing. Last night was not. I would do it again."

She met his eyes, she had to see him. There was warmth in his gaze, but a darkness there as well, a bloodlust she had not seen before. Oddly, she did not feel fear. She felt warmth, a coveting heat that enveloped her the longer she looked into his black orbs.

"Am I terrible to be comforted by that?" she asked quietly.

"If you are, then I am worse for wanting it," Sasuke fought the urge to allow his hands free roam. There was very little still keeping the palpitation of his cock at bay, "I do not keep secrets from you because I wish to," he spoke quietly, "It is only because I must. And even to admit that puts you in far more danger than I would like."

"I do not understand, Sasuke-kun," she did not look away, allowing him the exposure of her gaze and the truth that lay there, "I am not mad. I simply just do not understand. I hope one day you will let me."

He said nothing, only cupped her chin and lifted her lips to his.

* * *

He was still hard, throbbing painfully for her as he wrapped a towel at his waist and she did not fail to notice. Sakura padded with quiet steps to him, knotting her robe at her waist. Her fingers slipped along the sharp cut of his abdomen where she felt him suck in a sturdy breath.

"I think you hold more patience than I," she smiled demurely, "And more control."

"It is waning," he confessed, and caught her hand in his before she could do something irreversible. He watched the glint in her eyes, caught the blush in her cheeks, and traced the line of her lips; she seemed too beautiful, too good to be real and to hold such feelings for him, "I think you need rest. As do I."

"I do not wish to sleep just yet," her face fell, but he noted that it was not simply disappointment etching over her features.

"Sakura, you have just been through something traumatizing. You are not thinking straight, you need sleep," he expected her to fight him, to be insulted by his gentle insistence, but instead, Sakura merely nodded.

"Very well, Sasuke-kun," she turned away from him, but he pulled her back, flush to his chest. His lips caught hers roughly and she responded with fervor. Every time he kissed her, he felt a swell of relief, a reminder that she was alive and standing before him. The breath stolen from her, she panted softly, "Will you stay with me tonight? Please?"

He did not comprehend that he was hoping she would ask him until the words had left her mouth. He did not want to leave her that night. He was afraid that if she disappeared from his sight she might be stolen from him forever.

"Yes," his thumb stroked her cheek. Sakura clasped his hand and led him to her bed. She pulled back the covers and slipped beneath them. It occurred to him then, as he slid in next to her, that he had left all of his fresh clothes in his own room. But her robe had shifted, exposing the tops of her breasts and the alabaster slope of her thighs, and he realized that he was not concerned. She observed him quietly as he drew her into his side; skin brushed skin, tentative breaths were shared, and the warmth of their bodies were exchanged in a contented loop.

"Good night," he said simply before leaning in to kiss her again.

"Good night," she whispered against Sasuke's lips, hands settling on his strong back, as she relaxed against him.


	8. Chapter 8

**I actually can not stress how awesome you guys are, but words sometimes fail me at 3 in the morning. Work and school kind of got in the way of updating, to my complete and utter dismay. Seriously, don't they know I have other priorities? Enjoy!**

* * *

 _She didn't understand why she couldn't breathe, but there was a distinct pressure against her neck, cutting off her air. She snapped her eyes open and saw her new bedroom, pristine as she had left it, except for Sasuke's body splayed beside the tub, bleeding out onto the floor. A sword had been run through his chest, pinning him to the ground as though he were a doll. She wanted to sob, to cry and scream, but whatever held her neck prevented her. And her assailant was nowhere to be found._

Sakura woke with teary eyes and trembling fingers that had drifted from Sasuke's comfort, and now clutched her sheets in terror. He was asleep, and alive, beside her; she sighed in relief, but her mind still raced with thoughts of tragedy and scenarios of 'what if.' What if he had been killed? What if he had come too late? Worse yet: what if she had survived and he had not? How would she ever cope?

With unsteady hands she began to reach for him, but stopped short. She did not want to disturb him just because her mind was in a state of unease.

She stood and tiptoed to the window, peeling the curtains back ever so slightly to see that night had fallen. She felt her pulse quicken simply seeing the moon sitting in the sky. What if the Akatsuki attacked tonight?, she thought. Would they be so lucky next time?

She peered over to where Sasuke lay on her bed; how had he known to come to her? Why would an enemy divulge a plan so carefully thought up to a man with the power to shift the course of said plan? Sakura grimaced and let the curtains fall, shrouding the room in darkness once more; she knew he was keeping the truth from her. She couldn't understand why he would need to lie about saving her. Unless - she blanched; what if he was working for the Akatsuki? What if it was all misdirection, one big diversion? And now she was alone with him. . .

No, no, that wouldn't make sense. But now she could not quell the suspicions that rose at the mysteries that followed him, mysteries that had once attracted her. She settled herself by the fire, taking up the flint and steel. Furiously she struck them together, over and over as she had seen her servants done many times. It appeared to be an acquired talent as it took her multiple tries before she could strike even the smallest flare. She stoked the flame and contemplated.

* * *

 _There was a sweet, low hum in the air, pervading the previous silence. He could feel her wet fingertips glancing his bicep, slipping over his shoulder, and moving to the nape of his neck. The humming took on a humorous note, for a moment, before she sobered herself. He heard her shift, the water in the bath obeying her movements, then felt her breasts flush against him._

 _He opened his eyes to her welcoming smile and cheshire grin. His heart swelled and thumped in his chest; he reached for her._

 _"Sasuke-kun, I - ,"_

 _The door burst open and a gang of masked men marched through. Before Sasuke could think to act, one of them had grabbed Sakura by the hair, yanking her out of the tub. They threw her to her knees, a hand coming to circle and tighten around her neck._

 _"NO!"_

 _Sasuke pushed himself to his feet, only to be shoved back down by another faceless soldier. They pressed a knife to his throat, but even without it, Sasuke found that he could not move. He could only watch._

 _"Sasuke-kun, please," droplets of water glided down her quaking body. He felt shackled, "Help me," one of the men took up a blade, running it along the length of her spine, "Sasuke-kun!" The man shoved the knife into her back and her plea became a garbled scream._

 _Sasuke opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The soldier's hand was at her throat as he drove the knife into her back over and over. Sasuke watched the light leave her eyes, watched her purpled lips take their last breath, watched the blood dribble down her chin. His body flared with an anger that burned everything else away. But something else began to appear, too. He fought it off, struggled to hold on to every tendril of rage he had. But it came anyway - the sadness, the sorrow, the unimaginable despair at seeing her lifeless form collapse half in the bloody tub. She was gone._

When he started awake, Sakura was not beside him. Sheer panic gripped him before he saw her sitting by the crackling fire, expressionless, withdrawn in herself. He threw off the damp towel, landing it on the floor, and stalked over to her stark naked. He knelt behind her and scooped her into his arms. He shut his eyes and breathed deeply, taking in the scent that was entirely her, sweet like the blossoms she had been named after. She began to weep, curling against him and shaking as the whispers of her dream still rang in her ears.

"You're still here," his voice was strained, choking on his words. It was an effort to push them past his lips. She grasped his bicep and shook her head.

"I am not here. I am very far away," she whispered, but her words were harried as she trembled. "I have not left that man's grasp. I can still feel his hold on me."

"No, it is me," Sasuke began to sway, rocking her gently as though he could shake her out of her haze.

"Is it you?"

"Of course. It is only me."

"Do you wish me dead?"

"What are you - ,"

"Answer me," her voice was cold, level and lethal, "It is a very simple question. Do you wish me dead?"

"No," he shook his head furiously, "How could you ask me that?"

"Why must you lie to me then?"

"I may keep things from you, but I do not - ,"

"Are you with them?" her eyes locked with his then, but she held him fast, "Are you of the Akatsuki?"

His throat bobbed and he turned his head.

"No."

"Yet you look away from me."

"I am ashamed," he uttered softly.

"Why?"

"You hold nothing back from me, but I can not be honest with you."

"Because you will not."

"Because I can not," he repeated, forlorn. His head dropped into her neck, breath branching over her skin, "You've no idea the weight I carry each day from the things I can not say. It is not just you I hide from."

"I do not understand why you must hide from me at all," she leaned against him, garnering what little support she could, "I - I feel very strongly for you, Sasuke-kun. Is that not enough?"

He considered her cautiously; it was everything to him, but how could he tell her that? Would she even believe him? He pressed kisses to her shoulder that started as a feather touch and grew rough in nature as he began to pull her flesh between his teeth, sucking purple welts there.

"Sakura, please."

"I will not have half of you."

"I am certain that if you know the truth, you will not want any of me."

"But you will not let me decide that," her voice was bitter, but still she clutched him tightly.

"It is inevitable; you will have no decision in it," he let silence fall around them but it could not penetrate the space between them. Sakura nuzzled her head against his, fingers falling to the nape of his neck where she stroked him idly, "Why must I be honest? What good is it to tell you these things if you will never truly be mine?"

The pain in his words was palpable, throat tightened with despair. Sakura sighed and shut her eyes to the dimly lit room, to the harsh reality outside of her walls, and to the world that surrounded them. She could not entertain those thoughts as he so seemed to do. He appeared to keep them as his only company, as a reminder to himself that he could never have happiness. Well, it seemed that if he were doomed to misery, then she would be, too.

"I am yours, Sasuke-kun," her nails dug into his arm painfully so, but he was grateful for the discomfort, "I need you."

Her eyes flashed with desperation and desire, overcome by lucidity now. She slid her hands high, twisting his hair around her nimble fingers and pulled his mouth up. She bit his lips and caught the groan that left him between hers. She was frantic, frenzied, he realized, seeking to devour him in her passion. It dawned on him that he wanted to do the same and, as terrifying as the thought was, it prompted him to cradle her in his arms as he stood, walking them back to her bed.

He set her on the sheets and she slid up the length of the bed on her back, keeping a steadfast grip on Sasuke's arm. She had no intent to let him go far from her. With one hand, she deftly slid the tie of her robe out, the silk loosening to reveal her soft skin. Sasuke shut his eyes, lowering his forehead to hers. Sakura captured his lips, but froze, murmuring something against her mouth.

" - op - ," she pulled back ever so slightly, "Please stop."

"Why must I stop?" she ran her thumb under his eyes and he opened them, "Sasuke-kun, why?"

"I can not control myself around you and what's worse, I do not wish to," Sasuke's hand flew to her waist, ducking beneath the fabric of her robe to grip the compliant flesh of her hips.

"What good is control?" she dug her fingers into the prominent planes of his muscular back and slid her leg between his. Her thigh grazed his hot length and she felt his preseminal fluid smeared along her skin. He groaned and thrusted against her. Sakura grinned coyly, "Your control is mesmerizing, but it is not what I desire. I do not want you to restrain yourself from me," he was lost in the expanse of her gaze, enthralled with her words, "I do not _want_ half of you, Sasuke-kun. I _need_ all of you, every bit."

"How can you ask these things of me?"

"You are the only person I have ever wanted to ask," she responded without hesitation, further entreating his trust, "I do not wish to ask them of anyone else," she shook her head, twirling her fingers in his unkempt strands, "While it is the way you speak to me, it is also the way you see me. You look at me like I am the sun, like I am a lake and you are claimed by thirst."

"I have never wanted somebody like I want you," he swallowed past the lump in his throat, "And so I suppose I have never looked at another person that way."

"I do so wish you would continue to look at me as you do now," she paused and licked her lips, hands slipping to splay over his lower back, "And I do so wish you would touch me as you have in these illicit reveries you carry."

"I do not want to offend you with my - lechery," he had an odd lilt to the corner of his mouth and it caused her to laugh.

"Rest assured, I have dreamt fantasies far more lascivious than you," she nipped his chin playfully and let her inner thigh glide along his member once more. Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth.

"Is that a challenge?"

"You should not be ashamed to admit defeat, Sasuke-kun," her tongue laved the lobe of his ear before she bit the skin. He pressed himself more ardently against her and shook with the restraint it took to keep himself from having her right then.

"I encourage you to accept your loss with honor," his eyes were black pools of sinful heat, causing a pleasant throb in her core. Before she could retort, he caught her lips in a commanding kiss. His hand rushed to her neck, thumb tilting her jaw as he moved his lips down her heated skin. She moaned as his teeth scraped her shoulder and caught her clavicle. His mouth closed around a pert nipple, tongue flicking rapidly. She choked on a whimper as fire spread through her, emanating from his ministrations. He seized her gaze as he moved further south. He saw her breathless, saw her fingers fly to the pillows above her, saw her arch under him, following his lips like a magnet. Sasuke stopped at her hip, heaving a frustrated groan that became muffled against her, and sat back on his heels.

"Don't stop," she gasped, eyes dropping unabashedly to his reddened cock that leaked and pulsated under her gaze. He cupped her thigh and removed it from between his legs. He had her ankle in his hand, kissing a trail up to her knee. Sakura watched him intently, begging him quietly.

She did not need to beg; he was far too keen to give in to his own desires. Now he stood at the precipice and she was waiting for him on the other side. Below lay every fear and consequence he conjured between them. It was utterly terrifying and completely jarring to see them laid bare as Sakura was before him. His grip on her was taut, fierce, because he had no interest in letting her go then, despite every rational thought that urged him to. But he was not thinking rationally now, he was not thinking at all. He was driven, urged by that soundless yearning.

"Sasuke-kun," she blinked steadily, curious eyes delving into the abyss of his. And there were the threads once more, wound so tightly within him, but this time pulling him so harshly toward her. She was too beautiful, too enticing, so seductive in every manner of speaking and he realized she held a power over him then. She could call him what she liked, do with him what she pleased, could tug at his heart until it broke, and he would love her still. He would love her.

"I will not go farther than this," he lowered her leg to his side, fingers gliding along her pale skin to meet at the apex of her thighs. He skimmed the wet lips of her sex and she shivered, shutting her eyes to revel in the feeling. His finger circled her opening, teasing her with tender thrusts as he moved lower on the bed.

"But, I - ,"

He pressed his tongue flat against her, licking upwards in one smooth motion. He hooked his arms beneath her thighs, hands coming to rest at her hips as a spasm ran through her. He repeated the motion and a hoarse cry was torn from her slackened jaw. Encouraged, his lips enclosed her aching bundle of nerves and he began to suck, powered by his own greed, his own desire to hear those wicked noises leave her. Slowly, he worked a finger inside her, twisting to and fro, passing each knuckle gradually. She moaned as her walls clenched from the intrusion. He shuddered, cock throbbing painfully at the phantom sensation of how tight and hot she would feel around him.

"You are far sweeter than I imagined," the timbre of his voice sent vibrations through her nub, "And more tempting now than I had anticipated," he nipped her clit and she gave a soft yelp of agreeable surprise, "I can not go farther than this, for your own sake," he whispered and her eyes fluttered open to catch the obscene look in his. His lips were wet and his pupils were lost in the darkened lust of his gaze, "But you must trust that I want to, it is all I want in this moment."

She softened, but lost her composure when he curled his finger inside of her, stroking against an erogenous spot she had never taken the time to explore.

"Sasuke-kun," her voice broke as his tongue resumed its compassionate assault on her clit, "You are not alone in your desire."

He hummed in assent as the thrum between his legs became too difficult to ignore. He pulled away from her as a pressure began to build in the heated center of her core. It spread like a blaze through her abdomen, but started to die just as quickly once his touch left her. She shot straight up with a whine, but stopped short of admonishing him when she saw that he had his member in hand, stroking its engorged length. A very distinct satisfaction overcame his features and Sakura found herself bound to him by fascination. Her heart scurried in her chest as she watched his thighs tense and his grip squeeze his tip. More fluid spilled out, his cock twitching, responsive, but he stilled himself with a sharp hiss. His hand shot to his side as though he had been burned. With determined fingers, Sakura reached for him, but he captured her wrist.

"I fear I will not be able to help myself if I do not leave you now," his eyes were lowered to the sheets they sat atop, so she took his chin in her free hand and brought his attention back.

"I do not want you to leave," her eyes were glistening with vexation and sorrow. Her fingers slid down his neck, over his pectorals, raking her nails along his abdomen, "I wish you could take me now," she inched ever closer to him, hand dropping to his length to take it in her grasp. She began to move in a light rhythm, up and down, his head dropping forward to rest against hers. His breath was ragged in her ear, passing low profanities, "I wish I could feel you inside of me."

His hand left her wrist and travelled to her sensitive nub, moving in brisk circles that inspired Sakura's hold on him to quicken. They fell into each other, moaning the other's name, sweat gathering between them as they clutched each other with the desperation their pleasure demanded. They only floated higher; it seemed unimaginable, but it appeared that their was no limit to the gratification they awarded the other.

She felt the pulse of his veins, the stark increase of his cock's palpitations. He felt her tensing against him, shaking with the promise of her orgasm. And then they were falling. He groaned as thick jets of cum splashed her stomach and thighs, hot against her already perspiring skin. She moaned into his shoulder, trembling, teeth sinking in as her release sent shockwaves outward from every nerve in her body. Still, he twitched in her hand, and still, he circled her clit, both coaxing the other back to that moment of their world on her bed. Their breaths were short and sharp, bodies tensed and coiled with a hot shame that washed over them as though they had done something wrong.

Then, Sakura peppered kisses along his jaw and he turned his mouth to hers. Their tongues met, battling for dominance, and inciting the affirmation that no, they had not done anything wrong. They paused to regard each other; flushed cheeks, restless eyes, and greedy lips. Sakura smiled and kissed him again. He met her fervor with an immeasurable zeal, smiling in turn.

His arms moved to ensnare her waist and she locked hers around his neck as he pushed her back on the bed. She felt a layer of sweat on her skin, her bones ached from the previous night, and her muscles had begun to fail her in the aftermath of her release, but Sakura found that she could not bring him close enough. His hands moved comfortably along her body, tracing every line as though they were already familiar to him.

"Sasuke-kun, stay with me tonight," she whispered softly. He nodded and shifted to his side, pulling at the sheets to cover the both of them. She turned into his chest, realizing she had begun to display a similar familiarity as well.

"Of course," he acquiesced, but his heart stuttered as clarity permeated his mind.

He loved her.

Did he - ? It was a silly question and so he did not give it time to flesh out. He longed for her in ways he did not know was possible; he loved her.

"Your thoughts are restless," he froze when she spoke and peered down, but her eyes were already closed.

"It is rare that they are not," he drew patterns into the skin of her back with anxious fingers.

"I know," she said quietly, "I know you, Sasuke-kun."

He sighed and held her tighter, feeling her breath even out in the swell of her chest. She thought she knew him, but his heart ached as he discerned that she had only barely scratched his surface.


	9. Chapter 9

**Just sitting here, writing and waiting for the sour lemon chapter to come into play. Sadly, it had no place in this installment. Still, enjoy!**

* * *

For once, Sasuke did not want the sun to rise; he did not care to face the day. It was strange to him to think that he should ever leave her bed. What could possess him to want to? Some time in the night she had shifted, facing away from him, but she had not strayed farther than an arm's length and he could still feel the curve of her hips at his waist. He could see red and purple marks at her neck from where his lips had been, but he could also see the bruises at her wrists that rested beside her head. They were more prominent now and it made his stomach turn. Had she truly thought him capable of doing something so heinous to her?

He slid his arm out from beneath her carefully to turn on his back. The canopy of the bed surrounded them with a thin, pale curtain that filtered what little light was allowed in the room. It reminded him that he had a job to do, and it sadly did not involve wasting the day away between the sheets with Sakura.

Sasuke pulled himself out of the bed and assembled the majority of his clothing. Being decorated with blood and reeking of sweat, he shoved it inside of his pack and took out his other fresh set. He attempted to dress quietly, but his musings were obnoxiously loud. He was not certain what it would be like when she woke, but he felt a noticeable anxiety at the thought of facing her after the previous night. The revelation of his feelings coupled with the carnal explorations that had occurred between them had Sasuke contemplating how things might proceed from there. Perhaps she would not want to see him after all they had done. Though any sane man might think the notion irrational, Sasuke could not help the less than favorable scenarios floating through his mind. Perhaps she would change her opinions about him entirely.

"Sasuke-kun, I do believe I prefer you naked," he turned to face her as he was buttoning up his shirt. She was sitting up in the bed, knees covering her chest, with a wistful glint in her eyes. She stretched her arms above her head and yawned. He smirked, but felt himself falter in his resolve when he got the urge to march over there and kiss her.

"Would you keep me that way?" he shrugged on his vest, pulling up his zipper, then went to lacing up his boots.

"If you tempt me, I will shackle you to this bed," she had a humorous quirk to her lips, but her tone was pragmatic. He paused, taking her in and shook his head, chuckling.

"You have it wrong," he paced over to her in long, measured strides. She admired the strength of his posture and the pattern of his gait; he exuded an intensity that made her knees weak. Sasuke leaned over her, brushing feral strands of pink hair from her drowsy features, "You would not have to force me."

She smiled wide and rose to her knees, sheets slipping from her still naked form. Sakura wound her arms around him and kissed him tenderly. He confined his hands to her cheeks, urging her closer but attempting to champion his willpower at the same time. He had a job to do, he reminded himself. He stepped away from her too quickly and she felt a sliver of confidence lost at the action.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" she questioned lightheartedly.

"I thought I might complete my duties as a guard," he frowned, attempting at delicacy, "I did neglect them last night."

"Curious," she ran her finger over her bottom lip, suppressing a grin, "I did not feel neglected."

Sasuke set his jaw tight; he had every desire to shed his fresh clothes and resume his position beside her. She did not cover her breasts, nipples perked from the cool morning air, and though her hands rested between her legs, he could still see the slickness of her opening.

"You are perfect," the words slipped free before Sasuke could help himself, but he wished to take them back as soon as he heard them. They were too plain, unappreciative, and nowhere near accurately described her. Still, she smiled and her cheeks reddened. Sakura stepped off the bed and crossed the space between them. She placed her hands on his chest, fingers spreading over his vest, as she locked him in her gaze.

"I suppose it would take an alike person to recognize that in someone else," she murmured.

"Do you think us alike?"

"Very much so," she sobered quickly and added, almost as an afterthought, "Both hindered by obligation. But it is our differences I celebrate, too."

"Sakura," his brow furrowed with the burden of his inquiry, "How do you intend to move forward now?"

"How do you mean?" she appeared genuinely perplexed.

"What I mean to say is what happens to - to _us_ now?"

"Well, do you wish to continue," Sakura paused, fingers twitching against him. Her eyes searched his in an almost frantic manor, "This?"

He wasn't sure what 'this' was, but he was sure he would have to think on it. The consequences if they were found out were startling and seemed to hold more threat in that moment than they had the previous night.

Suddenly, the sound of the front door startled them apart. Sakura scrambled to the dresser to retrieve a formal ensemble while Sasuke darted into the hallway, shutting her door behind him. He stood in front of it as the Emperor and Kakashi walked up. A few maids as well as Sakura's ladies in waiting trailed behind them. Kizashi seemed to want to enter, but Sasuke planted himself like a fortress before them. If he went in then, he would know Sasuke had seen Sakura in her indecent state.

"Good morning, Uzumaki-san," Kizashi said. Kakashi gave Sasuke a polite nod which he returned. The ladies behind them bowed respectfully.

"Good morning, sir," Sasuke responded.

"I trust you had no issues last night?"

"No, sir," Sasuke fisted his hands behind him, blood pounding in his ears from the adrenaline that was rushing through his system.

"Very good," Kizashi beamed, then leaned close to Sasuke, his voice a melancholy whisper, "We have found more with the tattoo," he stepped back, raising his voice, "But that will be discussed later. For now, I would like to see my daughter."

Sasuke nodded, his mind now itching for information of the remaining Akatsuki members that had infiltrated the palace. But his panic returned when he stepped to the side, only to have Sakura fling the door open with a wide smile, dressed in a decorative, pink Jūnihitoe.

"Good morning, father," she was as cheerful as ever, her sweet countenance careful to hide the sins she had committed.

"You appear well," he stepped inside her room, Kakashi and her ladies following suit, "How are you feeling?"

The door shut behind them and Sasuke missed her response, but he supposed it was not for his ears if he had been left outside. He watched the door for a moment until the maids emerged with buckets of muddled bathwater and moved to toss it outside. Sasuke stepped out of sight of the entryway, catching only bits and pieces of idle conversation between Sakura and her father. A few minutes later the handmaidens returned and removed the drained tub, buckling yet somehow still managing under its weight. Kakashi closed Sakura's door and soon Sasuke was alone.

He began to pace the length of the hallway, thoughts wandering to what the Emperor had divulged. How many men had been found out? Was it possible there were still some among them that perhaps did not carry the emblem in order to remain hidden?

Sasuke froze, the walls feeling suddenly towering and as if they were enclosing upon him. What if that soldier had told other members within his group who Sasuke was? Would the Emperor believe them?

And what would Sakura do when she found out?

Because, it was inevitable, he thought, she was going to find out. It was only a matter of time.

The door opened and Kizashi walked out, pausing to cast a glance at Sasuke.

"Walk with me, Uzumaki-san," he beckoned him toward the door, "Kakashi-san will oversee my daughter for the time being."

Sasuke nodded and followed the Emperor outside. The clouds had come to cover the sun now and the wind stirred the snow on the ground. He felt a disgusting guilt as he kept behind Kizashi, choking on the secret he now shared with Sakura. The Emperor led him up the path, past the council room and past the barracks to the building of cells beside them. The guards at the entrance unlocked the doors and swung them back, allowing Sasuke and the Emperor passage.

Partitions of stone separated the line of cells that were filled far closer to capacity than Sasuke recalled. A guard was stationed every few feet, more than one for every prisoner.

"Sixteen," the Emperor's voice cut like steel through the thick air, "That is how many we have found so far."

Sasuke seethed as his gaze travelled from face to face, though some of them resided farther back in the building and escaped his sight. He had never taken the time to interact with others in his rank, but he recognized more than a few faces that had taken over after his shifts of guarding Sakura. They knew her routine, they knew his routine, and they had been biding their time until the attack. They all regarded Sasuke with a measure of fear and indignation.

"Do you know any of them?" the Emperor questioned, eyes trained on the iron bars.

"No," Sasuke's eyes swept over quickly again, but he shook his head. The Emperor lowered his voice and spoke,

"They will not tell me where they are from. I was hoping you might remember them from Konoha or from a village nearby."

"No, sir," Sasuke grimaced, "I'm sorry."

Kizashi sighed, but gave no outward indication that he was troubled. He maintained his authority in front of their audience.

"They all have the tattoo. For some, it has even been branded into their skin," another hushed statement, "And not one of them will talk. Yet, there is something even more perplexing."

"Sir?"

"We had seventeen last night," Kizashi eyed Sasuke by his peripheral, "One of them took his own life early this morning, before we had even threatened him."

"He feared something worse than death," Sasuke mused, keeping his voice low, though his mind raced.

"Perhaps the wrath of whoever he would have to answer to were he caught," Kizashi frowned and sighed. He turned, back facing the prisoners, but did not walk further, speaking low to Sasuke, "I have always wondered why you have not sought a higher position here, Uzumaki-san. You know I think greatly of your family and of you, even more so after what you've done for mine. I consult with you in this, because I trust you. If you would like to assume a better post, you need only ask."

"Thank you, sir," a lump formed in Sasuke's throat as he thought of the farmer's speech in the dining hall; there was indeed a reason Sasuke did not put himself in the spotlight.

"Kakashi-san would be glad for your help, I think," he added and waited for Sasuke's response.

"Thank you, sir," Sasuke's eyes darted back to the many faces that still watched them religiously, "I will think on it. For now, I feel that I have a duty to Haruno-sama."

"A duty that I feel is safe in your hands," Kizashi nodded, clasped him on the shoulder and stepped outside. Sasuke followed him into the brisk air, but kept a safe distance, entirely not too keen to speak further on the subject. However, it seemed the Emperor was content with the silence as he paved ahead to his council room. Snow had begun to fall, crafting a new world around them and Sasuke wondered briefly if Sakura was warm enough in her room. Kizashi paused before the door, "You may return to your post; please send Kakashi-san here, once you have arrived," he mused for a moment as the guards held open the passage for him, "Please do consider my offer. Once I have dealt with these traitors, once it is safer here, I would be able to find a replacement for you, should you wish it. Perhaps we can even talk of you joining your brother, as another general."

Sasuke maintained a difficult stoicism as he regarded the Emperor. He wasn't sure how he felt about that offer. A position as general would be an honor most would kill for, but Sasuke did not concern himself with titles. While he wished to aide Naruto, he would be glad to do so as a faceless soldier. And what's more, an elevated position at the palace would mean distance from Sakura. He knew it would be a smart decision, but if that was the case then he did not want to be smart.

"Thank you, sir," he waited for the Emperor to enter the council room before proceeding to Sakura's quarters.

* * *

"Haruno-sama," Hinata piped up suddenly, through the chatter of the other ladies, "That guard outside your door this morning, he is Naruto-kun's brother, no?"

"He is," Sakura nodded.

"He is the _other_ Uzumaki," Tenten laughed.

"The _attractive_ Uzumaki," Ino grinned like a predator who had cornered her prey.

"Do you think so?" Sakura set down the book in front of her, marking the page.

"Don't you?" Ino asked and Sakura bristled, but she did not see it. Kakashi remained silent on the other side of the room, seeming to either not hear them or not care to be a part of their conversation, "If I had a man like him watching over me day and night, I might be compelled by certain inescapable urges."

"I agree," Karin simpered as she continued to weave her needle through the fabric in her lap.

Sakura huffed quietly and looked to the window. Where was he?

"I am biased," Tenten spoke, shaking her head and focusing her attention to the scroll in her hands, "And loyal to my husband."

"Must have been nice to find a man who entertains your irrational fascination with weaponry," Ino jeered, causing Tenten to scowl at her. Sakura picked up her book and began reading once more.

"Do not be jealous because you will be the only spinster among us," Tenten snorted derisively.

"If Ino-chan remains unmarried, then I fear I will be subjected to the same fate," Karin said with a laugh.

"He must marry one of us," Ino jested and Sakura frowned; she had read the same passage multiple times and was yet to turn the page.

"Then we shall have a bet," Karin said, "Whomever he proposes to will be crowned champion."

"And what will be _my_ prize?" Ino giggled, "Aside from his hand?"

"You mean _my_ prize?" Karin said brusquely.

"You bicker like children," Sakura slammed her book shut, "Do you really think him to be interested in you if you speak of him so?"

The room quieted and all eyes had snapped to her. Sakura's cheeks reddened and she lowered her head in embarrassment. The silence was palpable and coiled around her like a manacle.

"Haruno-sama, are you all right?" Hinata came to sit beside Sakura as she placed a hand to her forehead.

"Forgive me," Sakura said quietly, "I am not well. I need to rest."

"Would you like us to leave?" Tenten asked.

"Perhaps that would be best," Sakura said and chewed her lip. Above all, in that moment, she felt utterly ashamed that she had let her jealousy get the better of her.

"Lee-san was hoping to come see you today," Ino spoke tentatively, "Should we tell him you are not well?"

"If you would be so kind," Sakura's voice became weak, breaking as her thoughts were clouded with memories of her sordid affair with Sasuke. She felt a satisfaction filter through her that they would never know him the way she did. She figured her features must have been bright red then, after all, she could feel the heat rising beneath her skin.

There was a knock at the door and Kakashi answered it, stepping to the side to let Sasuke in. The whole room dropped into a disquieting silence once again. Sasuke felt it, but he had no idea what it meant. All he saw was the scarlet of Sakura's cheeks and glowered. Had she been upset?

"The Emperor requires you in the council room," he looked briefly to Kakashi who nodded and took his leave. All of a sudden, her ladies seemed to scurry to their feet, muttering condolences and words that Sasuke did not care to catch. They left in a flurry of bright fabrics and dizzied thoughts, leaving Sakura alone with him, "Are you all right?"

"It is nothing," she shook her head, feeling very silly for her reaction.

"Normally, I am the one to tell you that," he walked toward her slowly, but without great caution.

"Hm," Sakura laughed, but looked away from his percipient gaze, "Well, this time it is the truth. I was being a fool."

"I do not believe you could ever do such a thing," he came to stand before her, looking down as she sat on her bed.

"You flatter me too much, Sasuke-kun," finally she peered up at him, glassy green eyes permeated by a troubled haze.

"I do not think I flatter you enough," he smirked, "Or not as much as you are used to."

"Empty words beget empty affections," she simpered, "Do you not feel genuinely toward me?"

Sasuke cupped her chin and took her lips with his roughly, commanding the passion they shared the night before to the surface.

"I feel too deeply and too truly for you," his voice wavered, but his resolve grew stronger the longer he kept her gaze. She leaned up to kiss him once more, lingering in her chaste endeavor.

"You know my ladies are infatuated with you," she spoke coyly.

"Are they?" Sasuke's brows rose slightly, more in surprise than in interest. She laid back on the sheets, pulling him down on top of her. His body was a welcome weight on hers. She nodded, "And what about you?"

"I am entirely smitten," her voice, though husky, lilted with a teasing tone. Sasuke hid his smile in their kiss. His heart beat at a quickened pace, but his mind became concerned with how readily his happiness now seemed to depend upon her feelings for him. He closed his eyes to his thoughts and felt her hand traveling between them. She rubbed his length through the placket of his pants and felt him harden as she repeated the motion, "And I have seen far more than they."

"How greedy you are, Sakura- _hime_ ," Sasuke smirked against her lips, groaning when she gave him a light squeeze.

"I will not deny the truth," she whispered and pressed her mouth to his, grazing it with her teeth. Then, a knock resounded through their intimate space, emanating from the front door. Sasuke growled and stepped off the bed in a swift motion. Sakura gave a frustrated groan, "Send them away, Sasuke-kun."

He stalked over to her door, yanking it open, then answered the ceaseless knocking of the main entryway. Lee-san had his fist raised, ready to pound against the door again. He lowered it awkwardly, no doubt expecting Sakura to have answered him. Lee attempted to peer behind Sasuke's broad frame, but he simply moved into Lee's field of vision more directly.

"Is Haruno-sama available?"

"She asks that she not be disturbed at the moment," Sasuke said curtly.

"I heard she was not feeling well, so I thought I should come - ,"

"She is still recovering," Sasuke began to close the door on him, but Lee placed his hand on the wood.

"Could you give her this?" he held out a folded parchment and Sasuke had to bite back a scowl when he began to guess what the contents were, "And tell her I wish to see her as soon as she is feeling better?"

"Very well," Sasuke snatched the letter from Lee's hand and shut the door, locking it behind him. He returned to Sakura's room, being sure to make use of the lock there, too, and found her sitting up on the bed, naked. Her hair fell in a curtain around her, covering her breasts, and her clothes had been discarded in a messy pile on the floor. She had her legs crossed, dainty hands placed on top of each other at her knees. Sasuke fisted his hands, unintentionally crumpling Lee's letter as he drank in her ethereal figure.

"Who was it?" she asked innocently, as though she weren't seeking to entice him at that very moment.

"Lee-san," Sasuke spoke through gritted teeth.

"And what is that?" she nodded and pointed a slender finger to the parchment he held.

"For you," he extended his arm to her and she got to her feet, padding softly toward him. He felt himself silenced as he watched her hips sway. When she took the letter from him, he found his voice once more, "He wishes to see you when you feel well again. Are you ill?"

"No," she shook her head and kept her eyes on him, though she clutched the paper tightly. She spoke in a furious whisper, "I sent away my ladies because they spoke of you as a prize to be won and it irritated me in a way I can not explain. I did say to you, I was being foolish. They told Lee-san I was not well so that he would _not_ visit me, and yet," she trailed off, giving a flippant gesture to the door.

"A prize?" he smirked, "If I am to be anyone's prize, it will be yours," he ensnared her with an arm at her waist, "I am your concubine and no one else's."

"Do not be so silly, Sasuke-kun," she sobered for a moment, "I do not think so little of you."

"That you think anything at all of me is something I will be grateful for eternally," he said with earnest.

"Sasuke-kun," she softened and wrapped her arms around him, releasing the letter to fall to the ground. He held her tightly, tucking his vulnerable visage in the crook of her neck. He did not understand why or how he could be so candid with her, but he could not deny the beauty of the freedom it awarded him. He knew he meant every word, but he could not discern where they had come from.

Though, he thought of his parents, of the love they shared and how the subtle nuances that had woven them together so tautly seemed to reflect in his relationship with Sakura. Still, there were those secrets he had formed into the bricks that made up the barriers he put between them. And the reality of his concealed past made him pull her that much closer, made him hold her that much tighter, and caused him to kiss her with that much more desperation.

There was a flame that burned within her, a beacon she held that called only to him. And he came to it, wanted to bask in the light and the warmth she held. He wanted her covetous fire, wanted to be consumed by its incendiary passion and left to ashes in its wake, because he knew that there would be no one after her. Until then he was stoking the blaze as long as he could, knowing that it could be snuffed out in mere seconds.


	10. Chapter 10

**Enjoy! (while I sit here drinking my second glass of wine and silently judging myself for procrastinating my homework with this story)**

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The letter lay forgotten on the floor, buried beneath Sasuke's discarded uniform. Sakura was pressed against the wall in a corner of her room, legs hoisted around Sasuke's waist. Beside them, the freshly lit fire crackled. His tongue laved at the crook of her neck, teeth biting to the point that she cried out in pain, only to moan at the friction created by his hardened member being ground against her drenched core. She shifted her hips, feeling the blunt head of his cock striking her entrance. His biceps flexed under the savage hold of her fingers and he groaned against her skin peppered with his passionate bruising.

Sasuke kissed a trail along her jaw up to her lips where he coaxed her into an ardent lock. He moved with false thrusts, causing her to clench at the anticipation of his intrusion. Although, deep down, she knew it was useless. They could only torture themselves with their shared dream; it was a fabricated promise. She knew that if she gave herself to him she would be deemed useless by her future husband, soiled completely by Sasuke's affection. For now, she could only pretend that he had not already stained her heart.

His hands moved to cup her behind and her neck as he walked them over to her bed. He dropped her on top of the sheets and she squealed. They both shared a laugh before his mouth descended on hers again. Then, he moved down her body, suspending his path only to mark her with a new purple blemish. Finally, his tongue swiped her sex and her fingers flew to his hair, pulling him closer as she moaned her pleasure.

"So eager," his breath felt cool at the heat of her opening, "So wet," he worried her clit between his teeth softly and she arched into the touch, "All for me," his voice rivaled the darkness of the night that fell around them. They had closed her curtains and soon he would not be able to see the flush that graced her skin.

"Mmm, Sasuke-kun," she purred, peering down at him buried between her legs. He sucked her nub between his lips and she keened, bucking against him.

"Desperate little thing," he cooed and slipped a finger inside of her, pressing the pad against her upper walls. She sobbed, eyes screwing shut as arousal flared to life within her, but in the back of her mind she noted that she would return his favor of sweet torture one day. She felt the prodding of a second finger and bit her lip to silence her bittersweet cries as he worked it in. He stretched her open gradually, to which she felt a gratifying burn and a satisfaction to the empty ache.

"Oohh, Sasuke-kun!" his name slipped out of her as though it were pulled by a string. His tongue flicked her swollen nub as his fingers pumped rhythmically in and out of her drenched core. Sakura tensed, muscles pulling taut as she found herself at the base of her release; Sasuke was working her up to the top, guiding her.

"I imagine your tight cunt would feel like heaven around me," his voice was dripping with want and he reached his free hand up to her breasts to pinch her nipple. She squealed in surprise and clenched around his fingers at his words. They had caused her heart to skip and her already dizzied mind to become further muddled by the pleasure he inflicted upon her. Sasuke was driven by the depraved thoughts playing through his mind. He wished to drive his cock so deeply within her that she felt every inch of his length and not one iota of her hot passage was hidden from him. He twisted his fingers inside of her, creating a unique friction that had her trembling uncontrollably. Spurred by her licentious moans, he pushed his digits further within her. She choked on a cry as she felt a slight pinch, but it was quickly whited out by the feel of his continued plunging.

Very fast and without much warning, she felt herself at the precipice of her release but she did not want it to end yet.

"I want you to come for me," she whined and shook her head as he curled his fingers sharply within her. He grazed her upper walls once again and her back flew off the bed, nails digging into his scalp for stability. He groaned against her, the soft vibrations pushing her over into the bottomlessness of her orgasm. She finished with a long cry of his name, bucking her hips so fiercely that he had to hold her down as he continued to lick and thrust into her.

He brought her back slowly, fingers beginning to dawdle and tongue subduing to softer bats at her clit. When she had regained some of her consciousness, she pulled him up by the hold she had on his hair. He twisted his fingers in the sheets as he held himself above her, her lips attacking his in a feverish move.

"I want you inside of me," she whispered as they caught their breath. He groaned at her admission, forehead falling to rest at her shoulder. Her legs skimmed his as she lifted her hips to grind her sex against his member, "I have never desired something so much."

"Sakura," his hand was at the back of her neck, clutching tighter when she began to caress his length with her delicate fingers. His words became strained by his struggle for control, "I would like nothing more, but you are not thinking correctly."

"I have not thought correctly for a long time, then," she hooked her leg around him and urged him to flip onto his back. He obeyed, but found a steady hold on her thighs to keep her still. Though night was upon them, his eyes had adjusted slightly and he could somewhat make out the ardor of her gaze. Sweat had stuck her hair to her face and her chest swelled with each hurdling breath. She appeared a feral creature atop her prey. A scenario he was all too pleased to be a part of and one that caused him to throb so persistently against the wet heat of her entrance, "Do you desire me like this?"

"Yes," his throat was thick and his grip was tight. He could imagine her riding him, merciless in her search for completion. She took his hands in hers, prying them from her waist so that she could slide down his body, breasts flush to his skin. She stopped eye level to his turgid cock, fingers circled the base, "You are even more beautiful in the throes of ecstasy."

"Hmmm," she pressed her lips to the underside of his member, along the line of his pulse. He hissed, head falling back to the pillows. "Your syntax rivals that of my suitors," her tone became humorous, "I've told you, Sasuke-kun, you should write poetry."

Before he could retort, she licked a smooth line up the side of his cock, cutting his words into an unrestrained groan. He fumbled with the sheets at his sides, scrambling for a semblance of control when she took him partially through her parted lips. She pushed him further into the hot cave of her mouth and swallowed against him when the head of his length hit the back of her throat. Sasuke gave a profane exhale and thrusted his hips upwards. He sunk deeper which caused Sakura to choke on his thickness. She pulled back, a string of spit following her. Through half-lidded, devious eyes he watched her eagerly envelop his throbbing cock once more.

She hummed his name around his width and it reverberated through him, pleasure coiling stiffly in his abdomen. Her eyes shimmered with a frantic lust and it struck him with an electrifying shock that buzzed through his body, straight to his heart. She had taken his length almost to the base and still she looked at him as though she were insatiable.

"Fuck, Sakura," she moaned at the desperation in his voice and rather than revel in the feeling it created, a distant, entombed thought rose to the surface. Would she do this for her husband when she married? She took him to the base, choking briefly before inhaling sharply through her nose and swallowing against the throbbing flesh again. He pulled air through his teeth and shut his eyes. How could she do that? How could he let her? Pleasure spiked through his blood and he felt himself approaching his own release. She sucked harshly and wrenched him through his own razing orgasm, whiting out his tempestuous thoughts.

* * *

"It is not safe for us to meet like this," Kabuto said as he was hurried through the door.

"Quiet," Sasori hissed, pacing the length of one of the rooms in the barracks, "We have been left vulnerable now."

"We should leave," Deidara snapped, "We are dead if we stay. Orochimaru will find out they have failed, it is only a matter of time."

"Which is the reason we must move now," Sasori persisted, "We will return to Orochimaru with the others. For that our initiation will surely be completed."

"And how will you tell him we were not at our posts that night? It is because of us that they failed in the first place!" Kabuto bellowed. Sasori hushed him sharply, striding within a breadth's space of him.

"It was due to your own impishness that we were not there to help them take the girl," Sasori's eyes were darkened by rage, "I leave it with you to tell Orochimaru why we were not there for assistance. Or, you may tell him that we were betrayed by those two. It is our word against those of slain men."

Kabuto considered him for a moment, caught between the fear of Orochimaru's wrath and the anxiety of being a rat in a maze.

"And if he believes us?" Deidara questions, "What then?"

"We will become members of the Akatsuki," Sasori swept his eyes over his fellow soldiers, "And we will bring upon the downfall of the Haruno empire."

* * *

"What did my father want?" Sakura's fingers inched across his chest, her legs tangled with his.

"They have found more spies," Sasuke's hand at her waist tightened considerably and he felt her tense beneath it.

"More?" her throat ran dry.

"More than I thought," he admitted, eyes tracing the soft lines created in her features from her concerned frown and scrunched brow. He let his fingers run up the curve of her torso and the slope of her shoulder to caress her cheek, "I do not want you to worry."

"I am not worried, Sasuke-kun," she put her hand over his, succumbing to tremors, "I am terrified. I do not think you incapable of protecting me, but what if they kill you?"

"Then I hope it will have been to save your life," he said softly. Her eyes began to tear and so she shut them. Sakura took a deep, shuddering breath and shook her head.

"Please, do not say such a thing," her voice broke as a tear rolled down her cheek, but he was quick to wipe it away. He took her in his arms and urged her against him, until she went slack, "That is not something I want to endure."

He kissed the crown of her head, at a loss for words. She curled into him, clutching his back with desperate fingers. The feelings she held for him were palpable in that moment and he relished in the glow that it enveloped him in. The contact of her skin against his, the sweat drying from their previous tryst - the intimacy of it all put Sasuke in a dizzying high.

"Just the same, I do not wish to see you succumb to such a fate," he spoke softly.

"My life is not more important than yours," she whispered against him.

"More is at stake," Sasuke argued, "The weight of a nation does not sit on my shoulders."

Sakura pushed away from him then, donning her robe. She stalked to the crackling fire to stare into its depths.

"What good will my life be if you are not in it?" he could barely hear her admission, but he did not move closer, only sat up sharply to watch her.

"Some day you will have to know," he leaned against the headboard, clenching and unclenching his hands tightly, rhythmically. Her shoulders bunched and her head lowered. She was teeming with fury and could not control the harsh snap of her tone.

"Why do you seek to remind me of these things? You say you do not want me miserable, but this does make me miserable," she turned to face him, "As does your secrecy from me. I have attempted to be passive, but it is difficult, Sasuke-kun."

A heavy silence fell between them and the space from where he sat to where she stood seemed an expanse of endless proportion. The room was becoming darker, the fire offering an ambient light that fell very starkly against the animosity they exuded.

"Your father has offered me a position of higher ranking as soon as he finds another to look after you," Sasuke's eyes dropped to the wrinkled sheets of her bed.

"Will you accept his offer?" Sakura did not hide her crushing disappointment, the storm of anger within her calming to a gentle swell.

"I do not desire to be so far from you," Sasuke could not meet her eyes, "Not at this time."

"Just now, then?" she mused.

"I do not know if I ever will," he admitted, dropping his head into his hands. He had set himself on a treacherous road that wound through his heart, igniting it to life as he'd never known to be possible. There was little he could do to keep him from getting lost on that twisting path, but he began to think of those secrets he kept from her as the few pieces of himself he still had. The more he spoke with her, shared with her, divulged in her, he knew, the more unfathomable it would become to extricate himself from her and his heart from her grasp.

"Would you tell me your secrets if I were a different person?"

"Who?" Sasuke looked up to her enjoining eyes.

"Who would it take for you to confide in me?" she had come to cross her arms over her chest, guarding her heart from whatever words he might expel.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Sakura," he said quietly, "It is only a circumstance of 'what,' not a matter of who."

"How can I change that circumstance?"

"The past is not so easily altered," Sasuke frowned and her gaze fell. He saw her fingers tighten around her arms, pinching the silk that covered them.

"Perhaps you should stay in your own room tonight," Sakura turned back to the fire, hiding her face.

"Very well," she heard him shuffle off the bed, heard his footsteps as he picked up the discarded articles of his clothes, his pack as well, and finally, heard her door shut behind him. Sakura placed a hand on the mantle of the fireplace to steady herself. Her body quaked in the aftermath of his absence, a strange vulnerability overcoming her. It had not taken but a night for her to expect his arms around her as she fell to sleep. She had come to know the patterns of his breath, his movements as he slept. She turned to her bed, knowing it would feel quite empty that night.

* * *

Sasuke shucked on a pair of cotton pants and sat on the edge of his bed. He fingered the crumpled paper she hadn't known he'd swiped off the floor. Despite his dubious feelings on whether or not he should read the letter, he opened the parchment, curiosity winning out.

 _My dearest Sakura-chan,_

 _I understand you have been feeling less than favorable recently, even before this unfortunate event with the Akatsuki. I know you were secluding yourself in your chambers and not calling on your ladies. I can only imagine how that night only added to your discomfort. I want you to know I think of you every evening, especially if I have not seen you in the day. It is because I can not imagine my life without you. The sun does not rise in your absence and I fear for every moment I can not be with you. I apologize for how crass and obtrusive my feelings might seem, but I feel compelled to be honest with you._

 _My heart is yours to keep, but I do hope my sentiments are shared, for you are the only one I wish to call mine. Your laughter haunts me to the point I feel delirious if I do not hear it. The sound of my name off of your lips is the sweetest gift you could bestow my ears. I hope it is a gift I can continue to receive. Until I can hear the lullaby of your voice, I entreat you to keep me in your thoughts as I so do you. And until I can see your stunning beauty again, know that I am counting the seconds._

 _Yours faithfully,_

 _Lee-san_

Those words could have been plucked from Sasuke's own mind. The passion behind them mirrored his own. Was he just like one of her suitors? Was he no different from the noblemen that sought after her affections? Sasuke tore the paper down the middle, at the sides, wherever he could until it was shredded at his feet, a dissident rage flowing through him. Then, he blanched, fingers shaking with his subsiding fury. What had he done? How could he explain this to Sakura? He frowned and bent to his knees on the floor, scooping up the pitiful scraps, then walking to the fireplace to set them on the mantle.

* * *

 _Stop._

 _Please, stop._

 _She opened her mouth, but nothing passed through and all that she felt was a scorching heat, pain that demolished every nerve in her body until she was numb._

 _Stop it._

 _The pain wasn't happening to her, but she could feel it, experience it in a way that he couldn't._

 _Don't hurt him._

 _Her thoughts could not stall the sword that struck Sasuke through and through. Blood gurgled up his throat and from his lips; he fell limply to the floor._

Sakura groped the space beside her, tears hot on her cheeks, but came up empty. She whimpered and clutched the sheets as sobs wracked her fragile frame. She felt a chasm opening in her chest, a phantom sense of despair at the prospect of his death. A desperate pull wound at her heart and tugged her sharply from her bed. She left her room and padded to his door. Hesitant, she clutched the knob and turned it slowly, finding it unlocked. It never occurred to her, as it might have before they grew to be so intimate, that she would perhaps burden him with her thoughts; her only concern was to seek out his comfort.

"Sakura?" he heard the door creak shut and turned on his back, opening his eyes. She sobbed, but did not answer as she walked to the bed and laid beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, fingers reaching up to swipe at her tears, "What is it?"

She could only shake her head, crying because of the fear her nightmare had left in her and crying because of the relief his touch gave her. He kissed her cheek, and clutched the back of her robe tightly. She responded by catching his lips with hers, probing his mouth with a forceful passion.

"I dreamt you had died before me," her voice was a dulcet whimper when they pulled away, "I can not stand the thought."

"Is it the Akatsuki?"

"Yes," she nodded and buried her face in his neck, wetting the skin there with her persistent tears, "But in these dreams I fear not for my life; I fear for yours."

Sasuke sighed heavily, his heart constricting in his chest. He slipped his hand beneath the fabric of her robe to feel her skin against his. He roamed her curves with soothing strokes until her breast ceased its shudders.

"You do not need to fear for me," Sasuke's voice became a low growl, "These men will pay for their allegiance and it will all be over then. Do not think on it any more."

"How can I not, Sasuke-kun?" she whimpered, "I do not feel safe in my own bed. I do not feel safe when I am not with you."

"Then do not stray from me," he urged her, against his better judgement and for his own selfish needs.

"I feel so useless," her words were whispered on an exhale, "I desire the skills you possess; I wish I could defend myself."

"That is not your duty," he responded, hands settling at her lower back in a protective grip, "But it is my pleasure."

"Am I to rely on you for the rest of my life then?" he was startled by how opposed she sounded to the idea. He was not sure where they would be in the years to come, or even in the next day, but her question had him thinking on it.

"Would you not like to?"

"I would like to feel safe when I am alone," she lifted her head to peer at him in the darkness, "I would like to have confidence in myself," she swallowed audibly, "I would like to know how to use a weapon. Would you teach me?"

He scowled, ready to argue the safety of what she requested of him, but once more he found her candor causing him to soften. Once more her passing thoughts captivated his attention. Her passion for pastimes not indicative of her title stirred a familiar fascination within him. He was certain she would never cease to surprise him.

"Very well," he conceded, shifting so that his leg slid between hers, "But for tonight, let me take care of you."

She smiled meekly, eyes still wet with tears, but she kissed him with immeasurable enthusiasm to which he matched.

* * *

A veritable blizzard had come to life outside the building that held the prisoners, but the guards before the doors did not budge, except when Sasori approached them. They stiffened as though they were addressing a higher officer.

"Tomorrow night," he said, "That is when we make our move."

"How?" one of the guards asked. Sasori held out a folded piece of parchment.

"This is our only chance for redemption," his words were more brittle than the air around them, "Do not fail Orochimaru a second time."


	11. Chapter 11

**I was so freaking excited about this chapter and writing it that I wanted to make quadruple fucking sure I did it to my own stupidly exact specifications. Whether my specifications are up to your lovely standards, well, we'll see. Regardless, I LOVED writing this chapter and I hate that I didn't have the time to churn it out sooner. Thanks for your patience and ENJOY!**

* * *

 _He could feel her nails digging in to his arms, muscles flexing as he kept a tight grip on her waist. He was urging her on, encouraging the movements of her hips. The tight, wet heat of her cunt clamped down on his member and he felt a groan rumble in his chest. Her hair, long and unkempt, fell around her body, tickling his abdomen when she leaned forward to angle him deeper within her. She moaned, hips working, possessed by her need for him. Her lips found his, teeth biting so hard she broke the skin. Her desire was unapologetic but he was not one to complain. He would accept every bit of pain and every ounce of pleasure she bestowed on him._

 _She pulled back, panting harshly, fingers biting into his skin. Her eyes were alight with a roguish impulse._

 _"It feels so good," she yelped when he thrusted up, striking the edge of her cervix, "Do not stop!"_

 _Never, he thought. He repeated the motion and another cry parted her lips,_

 _"Ah, Lee-kun!"_

Sasuke startled awake, nearly yanking his arm out from underneath Sakura. She was nestled against him, head on his chest and arm over his waist, still sleeping peacefully. He heaved a dense sigh and tightened his hold around her. He shifted his weight, raising his other hand to her upper back, and kissed the top of her head. He breathed in the floral scent of her hair, the oils that she used. She exuded warmth and comforted his frayed nerves. His guilt over the letter pressed upon him, but he found that he would destroy it again, burn it even, if given the chance. He was not ready to let go of her, but Lee's epistle had proved he was not the only one who desired her in such a way. He thought that his feelings for Sakura were unique, but perhaps he did pine for her like a pathetic child.

"Sasuke-kun," her nails raked down his muscular torso, lids fluttering open, "Is something wrong?"

"Go back to sleep," he kissed her forehead and stroked the tangled strands of her hair, "I'm sorry I woke you."

"You did not wake me," she whispered, a sly grin on her lips as she slid her thigh along his turgid member, "This did."

"Hn," Sasuke laughed low, a rumble in his throat, but he hid his eyes, turning them to the ceiling so that she would not see the truth that lay there.

"What is it, Sasuke-kun?"

"It is not important. Go to sleep."

"Your refutation only aids my suspicion. Do you realize that?" she propped herself up on one of his pillows to see his face properly.

"I did not," Sasuke smirked, "I thought you were always suspicious of me."

"Only because you give me reason to be," she said solemnly. He cupped her cheek and kissed her lips, but she put her hand to his chest and pushed him back gently, "I am too upset to sleep, Sasuke-kun."

"Then we will not sleep," he stroked the back of her hand with his knuckles. She considered him briefly.

"Tell me something."

"Tell you what?"

"Anything," she shook her head, exasperated, "Tell me something that is genuine and true. We are so close and yet I still feel you are very far from me, as though you are not real," she fell to a soft whisper, "At times, I think I have imagined you."

Her words struck his heart fast with a devastating accuracy. Sakura's gaze dropped and she chewed her lip as she waited for his answer. But silence was all that greeted her; it swelled within the space around them, smothering her. Sakura pushed off the bed, but Sasuke caught her wrist.

"Do not leave me," his words leaked the desperation he felt. He did not know what to say to her, but he did not want to allow that distance between them yet again, "I can not stand it, knowing that I am the cause of your pain and yet am unable to be your solution," he looked away from her, swallowing thickly, but kept a steady hand, "It is a conscious choice to keep parts of myself from you and it is one I must abide by."

He felt her tense beneath the pads of his fingers, felt her pulse quicken at her wrist.

"Does your brother know your secrets?"

"Yes," Sasuke hoped that admission alone would solicit her conviction. Tentatively, his eyes met hers, but she kept a guarded expression.

"Do you trust me?"

Sasuke would have retorted that it did not have anything to do with trust, but he knew that to be a lie. The sad truth was: he could not allow himself the luxury of putting so much faith in her. He knew how she would react; she would abhor him for his lineage. . . And perhaps even turn him in to the Emperor for it, as well. His silence then spoke for him and she ripped herself away, getting to her feet. He sat up, ready to follow her until she fixed him with her gaze.

"Sakura, please!"

"No, Sasuke-kun," she glowered at him from beside the bed, "I am sympathetic to your troubles and I understand that all pasts carry secrets, but do you think you can keep them to yourself your whole life? Do you feel control when you keep people at such a distance?" she did not wait for him to answer, barreling through the words before she could think, "Will you keep these things from your wife?"

Sasuke was silenced, though his response hung on his tongue, awaiting the moment he would let it loose. Her eyes flashed with sorrow and, oddly enough, fear. Her hands were fists, tightening as she shook with the tempest of her emotions.

"Well?" she prompted, though she feared his reply.

"I will not take a wife," he grit his teeth, hissing through them, "I do not wish to."

Sakura was surprised not by the relief she was overcome with, but by the tentative despair that worked its way within her. Would he not marry because of her? Or was it because -

"There is no one that so enraptures me as you do," he whispered, as if in defeat, "You excite me in ways that captivate my thoughts. My heart races for you and I crave your body against mine. It is not because I need release, it is because merely having you beside me - I am at peace in those moments," he swallowed, struggling to keep his eyes on her probing stare, "I fear the day that you will take a husband, because I know it will be the end of me."

Sakura fell against the wall, her legs giving out under the weight of his words. A long, heavy silence fell between them. Sasuke's guilt for loving her mingled with his deception and congealed in his throat. His admittance fell like bricks off his tongue,

"I read Lee-san's letter," he hid his eyes in shame, but Sakura was perplexed; she did not think he should be embarrassed by such an unimportant act. Of course he was curious, and there was nothing wrong with that. Nonetheless, she felt he was hiding something else and it prompted her to dig deeper.  
"What did you think of it?" her throat felt dry, words scratching against her esophagus.

"I was disgusted with it," Sasuke spat, "We are too similar for my liking; he feels for you the way I do."

"He does not," she shook her head slowly, "I think that is impossible," her heart fluttered, mind racing, and head light, "Where is it?"

"What?"

"The letter," she clarified, "Where is it?"

Sasuke's eyes flickered to the mantle above the fire, then to her. He slipped out of the bed, abdomen clenched taut as he walked, disgraced, to the fireplace. He swept the tattered pieces of Lee's heart into his hand and brought them to Sakura. Taking hold of her wrist, he set the fragments with immense care into her hand. Her eyes dropped to her open palm, then shot up to his morose countenance. She slapped him, hand stinging with the ferocity she had placed behind the action. He took a step back from her.

"How dare you?!" her voice trembled with anger, fist closing around the shredded letter, "What gives you the right to do such a thing?!" he shook his head, the words vanishing from him, "Do you think you can control me in this manner? Do you seek to take and take and take from me until I have nothing left?! You cannot keep me to yourself when I can not keep you in the same way!" Sakura began to weep, turning into the wall, it being the only foundation she felt safe with in that moment, "You have my heart and my body - Lee-san will never possess me in these ways - what more could you possibly desire?! Is that not enough for you?!" her broken voice dropped to a whisper, "To know that you own me so completely?"

Sasuke frowned acutely; he was aching to approach her, to garner some sense of comfort from her and for her.

"I can not control how they feel for you, nor how you feel for me," he drew in a sharp breath, "You have no idea how greatly that scares me," she shut her eyes to the wall, but her ears were attentive to his spoken thoughts. He began to walk toward her, reaching his itching fingers out to clasp her shoulder. She turned at his behest, eyes fluttering open to look at him. Her lip trembled as she faced the wide, endless black of his gaze. Then, he kneeled at her feet, hands dropping to his sides, shoulders slumped, chest expanding with the swell of his breath. She watched him, expression alleviating as his did the same, "And I know one day you will not be mine."

His fingers reached out to touch her calf, slipping beneath her robe and skimming along her flesh. She shivered as he went higher, goosebumps following his fingers. He squeezed her hip and ran his hand over her stomach, thumbing the underside of her breast. She arched off the wall, urging into his hold, letting the remnants of Lee's note fall to the floor. He took her movement as invitation and loosened her silk enough to press his lips against her abdomen. His teeth bit down and he began to suck, bruising her tender skin. Her hands flew to his neck, winding around him, knotting her fingers in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her as she was wracked with roughened sobs.

"I do not wish to know a life without you in it," Sasuke's voice was hoarse, scrapped by emotion, "But I see it in my thoughts and in my dreams. It is so clear that I know it can not be far off. Still, I wish for you every moment of every one of my days," his eyes were boundless, filled to no foreseeable capacity with the passion he kept only for her, "I hope no one will ever possess your heart as I do, if I do, but I know there are things I can never have with you and that is my undoing."

Sakura's fingers quivered greatly as she was caught in his entrancing gaze. She shuddered under the vigor that lay there, no longer repressed by his corrupted control. He was hers, if she so desired. And she did, Kami, she did.

"I love you," her words bubbled up, spilling over her lips, "I'm in love with you. I am certain of it."

Their eyes locked briefly before Sasuke shot to his feet and took her lips with his. She clambered for a steady hold on him as he commandeered their ardor, steering them to the bed. They fell back on the sheets, hands flying everywhere, pulling at cloth to find the contact they craved. They parted for a breath, but he dove to her neck, drawing her skin into his mouth to suck harshly. Her fingers dug into his back, raking over his shoulder blades and the sinew of his muscles as she moaned. Her mind was becoming clouded, but, even still through the haze of arousal he brewed within her, something flared to the surface.

"Sasuke-kun," he did not answer her, mouth traveling lower to pull a stiffened nipple between his lips. He was intent on ravaging her, razing her with a pleasure that imprinted him upon her very soul. She cried out for him. His tongue left a warm, wet trail on her skin as he slipped lower. He kissed her hipbone, leaving his lips there for a long second. She reached for him then, "I need something, Sasuke-kun," her fingers stroked his cheek, the reddening of his skin decreasing, "I need something real," her cunt ached with him so close, but the longer she looked into his eyes, the more she found herself desperate for the truth, "I do not want you to lie to me when everyone else already does so."

Sasuke sighed, a defeated sound she did not know him capable of making. He kneeled on the floor between her legs, hands resting at her hips.

"I do not want you to know the truth about me," his breath was hot against her thigh.

"Then, I cannot do this," she shook her head and sat up quickly. She pulled him up by his chin, lips hovering over his, "I cannot do this with you, Sasuke-kun," she kissed him deeply, passionately, and parted with a frown, "When you are ready to be honest with me, then I will be here, waiting for you."

Sakura turned, slipping out of his arms as tears slid over her cheeks. She took up her sash, tying her robe closed, and walked to the entryway. Sasuke pushed off the bed, coming to his feet, and watched as she stopped at the door, fingers trembling as she tried to clutch the nob, but she failed to find her grip. Her fingers continued to slip over the cool metal.

Finally, she paused, placing her hand against the door as she inhaled shuddering breaths. She did not want to leave, did not want to suffer as she struggled against the threads that tied them together. She knew she would fall apart as soon as she left that room. And if she fell apart, she wanted it to be in his arms.

But Sasuke did not know that, all he saw was her back to him, and he panicked,

"I lost everything that night," he blurted out. His heart raced and he tried to steady himself with a deep breath, "When the Akatsuki attacked Konoha, I lost my family," his words were strained against the lump in his throat, "I can not lose you, too."

Keeping her hand against the door, Sakura turned to look at him with befuddled eyes.

"What are you talking about, Sasuke-kun?"

"They came to my village first," he sounded so lost, so much like an animal wounded; and she was the vicious hunter, "They burned down our homes. They killed the elders and enslaved the children," Sasuke winced and shut his eyes for a moment. His whole body tensed, then he exhaled, looking to her once more, "Those pyres could be seen from miles away and the Hokage did nothing," his voice dropped, darkened as memories obscured his onyx orbs, "I lost my entire clan that night."

"Sasuke-kun," her breath caught in her throat as something sickening prickled at the nape of her neck. She felt suddenly as though their roles had been reversed; she now the prey backed into a corner, vein opened for him to feast upon, "You are an Uchiha?"

He couldn't bring himself to speak so he nodded in a movement almost imperceptible, but she had been watching him closely. She choked on a breath and on a sob, fumbling for the brass knob. He shut his eyes when she yanked open the door and flinched when it slammed.

* * *

Sakura could not quell the anger that boiled to life in her stomach as she rushed to her room. She clutched the handle of her door when she pushed it shut. Her breath came in sharp and fast, heart battering in her chest.

An Uchiha. Within the walls of the palace.

She wasn't safe. She needed to alert somebody, another guard, her father - someone. She turned the lock on her door, even though she knew he had been given a key. A key that was meant to keep her safe, but one that had been put in the hands of an Uchiha. Her stomach churned as she considered that thought; she wasn't sure if he _was_ an Uchiha. . . Or if he was just Sasuke.

Which man had she just professed her love to? Which man held her heart?

It was impossible to tell.

As she pondered that, she realized that even though she had a seething hatred for him in the moment, there was a feeling curled deep within her heart that she could not shake. While she felt the severity of this truth opening beneath her in an endless, dark hole, she felt she wanted to run to him, comfort him and be comforted in turn. An incredible revelation of unimaginable weight had just been placed on her and all she wanted to do was go to Sasuke and tell him, to confide in him, even though he was the source of her pain.

She groped along the wall for the mantle of the fireplace in the cold, dim space. She found the flint and steel then knelt on the floor, striking the firewood to life. The heat of the blaze did nothing for the ice that spread through her. She thought she might sit and contemplate for a while, but truthfully she was too perturbed by Sasuke's admission and, really, she wished she could simply slip away from the whole evening.

She got to her feet and trudged to her bed. Roughly, she pulled back the mussed, silk sheets to climb in, but stopped short when the fire lit up a dark spot on the bed. A flush came to her cheeks as she thought her release must have hit her so roughly that her wetness had sullied the bed. Sakura could picture them on the sheets, his mess of hair between her legs as he dragged her through a scorching orgasm. She swiped her finger along the patch and recoiled when it stained her skin red. She ran her fingers over the fitted sheet and found dried streaks of blood from where Sasuke had gripped the fabric. A hand flew to her stomach; it was not her time of the month yet. Her cycle would not begin for another week. What could - ? She felt her knees go weak at the realization of where the blood had come from.

His fingers had been like a piston as they drove into her, so precise and sure, seeking only to heighten her enjoyment. But there was that pinch, that slight pain - well, she had been too consumed with pleasure to have given it much thought. . .

Sasuke had taken her innocence and they had been none the wiser. Her entire body quaked and her stomach roiled with nausea. The cold sweat of fear perspired on her skin; the burden of her virginity was gone, but in its place began an anxiety that threatened to asphyxiate her.

She was unfit for marriage and unfit for the throne. She clutched her hand over her mouth to prevent the curdling scream that fought to be set free. The blood drained from her face; she was unfit for any other man, but that was no epiphany to her.

She had known that truth from the moment she had set her naive gaze upon him.

* * *

Sasuke had opened his eyes, watching the door as though she might stride right through and straight into his arms. He had known what to expect and it had hurt worse than the slap to his cheek, but still he thought he could be the one to wipe her tears away. He loved her, did love her, and she had walked out on him. How foolish of him to think she could still be so amicable. There was no doubt in his mind that she was thoroughly disgusted with him now, afraid of him, too, even.

He needed to leave, not just that room, but the palace as well. Perhaps he could travel to Naruto or hide out with Jiraiya. He was sick of hiding, but what else could he do? Sasuke grabbed his pack and pulled out his uniform.

* * *

Sakura continued to wait for the remorse, for the regret of allowing him this intimacy with her. It never came. Perhaps there was something wrong with her. Was she sick for loving him? Was she sick for craving his touch and his words so that she might bask in that love? She drew the sheets up to her pillows and walked out of her bedroom with no formulation to speak. Sasuke stood in the hallway, bag slung over his shoulder, hesitating by the front doors. She froze, despondency taking hold of her.

"Do you intend to leave?"

He turned, startled as though he had been lost in thought, but he quickly pulled on a guarded expression.

"I think it best," he tightened his grip on the strap of his bag.

"I will not tell anyone, Sasuke-kun," she realized the verity of her words as she uttered them. She began to speak again, to add that she would not tell anyone _yet,_ but she could not be sure she wanted to turn him in.

"I will not ask you to keep my secret. Unlike you, Naruto had no choice in the matter," he shook his head solemnly, "I will not condemn another I care about. You can wash your hands of this, and me."

Sakura swallowed harshly and looked away. She did not want to. Even now, she felt a devastating ache taking over her heart, cracking her open until she stood vulnerable before his startlingly stoic eyes. She did not want to see him in uniform, walking out of her doors to desert her. She wished they were naked; tangled within each other, in her sheets, in their words, nothing but a breath between them. So she spoke again, stalling and entreating him to stay with her for just a moment more,

"Did you know him?" tears were welling in her eyes again and she spat the name out like a bad taste on her tongue, "Itachi?"

"Yes," he spoke slowly, carefully, though he thought it might be better to just get it over with. There was no avoiding it now, this was it, the nail in the coffin she would bury him in. He grit his teeth, but exhaled softly and said, with a resigned look, "He was my brother."

Sasuke saw the affect that simple statement had on her. He watched her break, caught the realization as it flashed in her eyes that he _knew_ , he had known all along, and still he had let himself develop feelings for her. And worse yet, he had let _her_ fall in love with _him_.

"It changes nothing for me," he said quietly, scrambling for purchase in the chasm that was quickly swallowing him whole, "I still - ,"

"You are worse than they are!" she said suddenly through her disquieting sobs. He flinched from her, "You are worse than my parents who lie to me like I am a child!" tears stained her painfully beautiful features, the porcelain of her fair skin cracking under the pitiless truth, "Did you expect to keep this from me forever?! Or did you not wish to know me that long?!," she drew in a sharp breath, "Do you want me dead?!"

"Never," he spoke with a plea, "My brother's actions were not my own. I was a child!"

"But you carry the name of your traitorous family!"

"And the burden of it! Of which I, too, did not choose," his eyes bore into hers, but she had become blinded by her hatred.

"I will not permit you to leave these premises," her voice was unstable and rough.

"I can not stay here!" he protested.

"You will!" she snapped, "If you ever felt _anything_ for me, you will stay here tonight!" she took a breath that caused her entire body to shudder, nostrils flaring as she pinned him under her unyielding gaze.

He tried to fight off the urge to set his pack down; it was a response he did not have to give thought to. He knew his feelings, though she was not sure of the depth he held for her. But he could not tell her now; she could not know that he loved her, too. It would be too painful to watch her recoil from those words so fragile and true. She asked for something real, but much like she had once told him, they could not have one without giving up the other. And so it came down to his honesty or his love. He supposed he would have been devastated with any outcome, left to ruin when she was forced away from him either because they were not meant for the other or because she could not stand the sight of him once she knew who he really was.

"Very well," he muttered, casting his eyes to the floor and retreating to his room. He hesitated to shut the door, but Sakura made the decision for him when she stalked back to her own space, slamming the wood behind her. He pushed the door closed and sank to the floor in his room with a heavy thump.

He felt suffocated, enclosed in her hand in a way that no longer made him feel coveted but rather helpless. Still, he could place no blame on her. She was not at fault for hating him. And she was most assuredly not at fault for hating his family. But there was nothing that he could do about her feelings now. That lack of control he confessed to her earlier was now a carriage thrown off the beaten path, hurtling toward a crag that would send him into the oblivion of an ocean. He could not help her hatred and she had every reason to despise him more than any other person would. She had been right; they were so close - too close to each other, he thought. The problem was their paths had already crossed long before they had even met; and he could not escape fate, try though he did.

After all, his clan was the reason she had never known her own brother.


	12. Chapter 12

**Somebody actually left a review asking if I was okay. Sorry it's been a while (lol). I work in retail and it's holiday season so unfortunately it's been kinda hectic. I was trying to churn this one out as quickly as possible, but there was so much I wanted to pack into this chapter. I'm hoping to maintain an update a week until the holiday season is over, but fingers crossed. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _"Please," Mikoto begged, her voice wavering, drifting in and out of Sasuke's earshot from where he stood just on the other side of the door, "Itachi, you can not go."_

 _"This is not something I can ignore, Mother."_

 _"We will keep you safe here," she said with an edge of desperation to her words._

 _"You can not guarantee that," Itachi spoke gently, "Seiichi can. He will ensure my safety while we are away."_

 _"Itachi, the Harunos are not to be trusted! Not now."_

 _"He is my friend - ,"_

 _Sasuke pressed his ear closer, against the wooden door._

 _"And the son of the Emperor!"_

 _"It is better that I go along, then. If they think they have my trust - ,"_

 _"Sasuke," the gruff voice of his father caused him to turn sharply, "It is not kind to eavesdrop."_

 _The door opened and Sasuke looked up to see his brother, standing over him. Itachi had donned a dark suit of armor and a sword hung at his belt. He looked just as Sasuke imagined the warriors from their bedtime stories did._

 _"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked._

 _"Nowhere," Itachi smiled, crouching to his level._

 _"Do not be so modest, Itachi," Fugaku chuckled, "Your brother is off to war, Sasuke. He will return a hero, just as you will one day."_

 _Itachi faltered, fear slipping into his gaze as he looked at his little brother._

 _"I won't be gone for long," he said, ruffling Sasuke's hair._

 _And Sasuke believed him, but it still felt an eternity before he saw Itachi again. Everyday he would stand at the end of the village, chasing after each caravan in the hopes that it held his elder brother. Everyday he would be disappointed, trudging back to his home with a heavy heart and a clouded mind, wondering if he would ever see Itachi again._

* * *

 _"Itachi."_

 _There was blood on his sword that dripped to coat his bare hands, but despite how fresh it was, there was a chill in his skin. It was hard to see through the haze of sweat and tears, through the black, matted curtain of his hair._

 _"Itachi."_

 _He found it difficult to hear anything over the blood rushing through his body. There was a buzzing flitting through his mind like a trapped bug._

 _"Itachi."_

 _It rose to a startling swell that covered him in a blinded rage. But that anger only fueled the tears streaking down his cheeks._

 _"Itachi!" he swung the sword, cutting the man down to his knees. He sputtered and grasped at the hem of Itachi's cloak, blood leaking from his mouth as he spoke silent pleas. Itachi watched him, committing the last moments of his friend's life to his eternal memory._

* * *

 _Sasuke stood at the edge of their porch, watching the Emperor's caravan approach. Barely had the horses pulled to a stop, when the Emperor exited in a flurry of rage, storming down the path to approach Sasuke's father. Fugaku tensed as he came closer._

 _"Mikoto, take Sasuke inside," Mikoto faltered, clasping her hands on Sasuke's shoulders, "Now, Mikoto."_

 _Mikoto ushered Sasuke inside, shutting the door behind them, but sat herself by the window to watch her husband. She did not want him to face the Emperor alone._

 _"Where is he, Fugaku?!" Kizashi was a storm, a terrifying tempest of unbridled anger and insurmountable sorrow, but Fugaku stood tall against him._

 _"I do not know," his voice was steady and tempered._

 _"Lies!"_

 _"I may have lost a son as well - ,"_

 _"Then justice has been served!" Kizashi paced the space around him, causing bystanders to shrink back, some retreating to their own homes, "But I am still without my first born! I am without my male heir!"_

 _"Sire, you have my sincerest sympathies - ,"_

 _"Your sympathies mean nothing to me!" his hand cut through the air, waving Fugaku's sentiments into oblivion, "Nothing you say could ever bring my son back!"_

 _Fugaku's eyes never left the Emperor, but he tensed almost imperceptibly when he was fixed with a devastating stare. Kizashi did not try to hide his tears._

 _"Itachi's actions did not reflect the beliefs of the Uchiha clan," Fugaku's voice was monotonous still._

 _"Spare me," Kizashi spat, stopping in his tracks, "I know you think me unfit to rule - I know that is why you will not accede to my proposals. You will not annex with Konoha, you will not cooperate with Uzumaki-san, and you will not comply with my laws! You have been biding your time until you could strike against my family and take over!"_

 _"We had no such intentions. We seek only peace, as you do."_

 _"Peace is a luxury," Kizashi shook his head, a disquieting calm overcoming him, "And one I will no longer bestow on you," he raised his voice, a booming call to every Uchiha around him, "Henceforth, your clan will not be recognized as a province of my kingdom! You will be cut off from our trade route and banned from business with Konoha," his next words settled around them like a deathly chill, "You are no longer under the protection of the Haruno empire."_

 _Fugaku did not bow his head, but stayed silent in respect. Kizashi took one long, last look at him and spit on the ground at his feet before turning back to his caravan. Fugaku watched the Emperor retreat, waiting until his carriages had pulled away to reenter his home. Mikoto rushed to her husband, but he brushed her off._

 _"Where is he?!"_

 _On cue, Itachi appeared at the top of the stairs, eyes cast down in a sign of submission. He took each step to the lower landing with great care._

 _"I am sorry, father," his voice was a subdued whisper._

 _"Quiet," Fugaku hissed ferociously, causing Itachi to flinch from him, "You are no son of mine."_

* * *

 _"Papa, who is that?" Sakura was barely five years old standing in the grand hall of her father's northern palace, art lining the walls on either side. She pointed a little finger to a grand tapestry that hung opposite an open window. The sun was high in the sky and cast a lifelike glow to the man's handsomely threaded face. The silver filament that wove his sword together refracted the light and caused it to move as though he were about to attack. His armor, black as the night itself, appeared foreboding against the bright, intricate background. Most notably though, Sakura's attention had been drawn to the long, pink hair that fell to his waist in a neat braid._

 _Kizashi approached his daughter, watching as her eyes lit up in awe at the portrait before her._

 _"That is your brother," she was too young to notice the way her father's voice cracked at the end of that statement and she was too captivated by the work of art to see the way his eyes had begun to water, "Seiichi."_

 _"Where is he?" Sakura struggled to recall if her father or mother had ever mentioned another child before. Kizashi put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly and urging her to turn away. But, she wouldn't. Sakura's stare could not leave the fabric image. This was her brother? He appeared brave and noble; a valiant soldier._

 _"He is gone, dear," her mother's voice echoed through the hall._

 _"Gone?" Sakura tilted her head to the side._

 _"Mebuki, please," there was a tone of warning laced in Kizashi's words._

 _"He is dead," Mebuki continued, ignoring her husband. She approached Sakura and kneeled before her, voice wavering, "A horrible man slaughtered your brother, simply out of hatred and jealousy."_

 _"Quiet," Kizashi hissed, pulling Sakura away, "She is too young for that."_

 _Kizashi brought her out of the hall, handing her off to a guard and closed the doors behind him. She heard her father's voice raise, marred by his own broken sobs, and heard her mother's shrill response in turn. She did not understand; she had not known she had a brother._

* * *

Sasuke sat at the edge of his bed, fidgeting with the unkempt covers, eyes trained to the wood at his feet. He had not slept and now the morning was upon him. It had been difficult to quell his dissident thoughts of Sakura. He could not shake the fierceness of her gaze, the disgust in her voice. All he wanted to do was broach the space between them, cross the hallway and take her in his arms.

He scoffed - for a moment he had fooled himself into thinking his brother was the only thing that stood in the way of their happiness. Even if she did forgive him and his heritage, they could never be content together.

* * *

Sleep seemed to be a luxury lately, one that continued to elude her. Time had passed at a relaxed pace, allowing her too many moments to ponder, but it was difficult to find things other than Sasuke to focus on.

She forced herself to think of her fish, the koi she had neglected since she had begun seeing Sasuke regularly. Her father's attendants had surely been caring for them in her absence, but she suddenly longed to feed them, if only to attain a moment of normalcy, a reprieve. The light of day began to shine through the slits of her curtains, brightening her room; she had spent the remainder of her night watching her fire die out. She was rooted to her soiled sheets and for all she knew, Sasuke could have been long gone by then.

But something told her he had not left - perhaps it was that pull. If she tugged on that thread, she could feel him tug back and know that he was right there, on the other side of the hall.

A knock came at her door; or maybe he was closer than that.

"Who is it?" while she was not sure she could confront Sasuke then, she was also well aware of the glaring fact that he was the only one she wished to see at that moment.

"Sakura," his voice was torn and raspy, but he kept on, "May I come in?"

She did not turn to face the door and she did not answer, but she heard him use his key. She was grateful he had taken the initiative to come to her, because she was completely unsure of how she should approach him. Sakura thought it odd in that moment that she was even considering how she should act rather than how she wanted to act. But, she supposed how she wanted to act - to fling herself into his arms and cry against his chest, to cry for her brother, to cry for their doomed love - was not appropriate. She heard the thump of his boots as he paced the length of her room, painfully out of her range of sight.

"Have I fallen out of your favor?" his tone was somewhat scathing, bitter from his own pain, but she recalled how he told her just the other night that he did not wish to seek her favor. Perhaps he did not realize her love and her favor were not the same thing.

"You were never in it," she said after the silence became too thick. Her fingers fumbled with the tie of her robe at her waist, "Favor is for those who do not occupy a space in my heart."

Sasuke clenched his fists and stalked over to the bed to stand in front of her. She would not look up at him, but her fingers stilled, wound tightly in the silk. He saw her tense and felt an itch stretch through him to reach for her.

"Are you afraid of me?" she nodded her head slowly and parted her lips to suck in a low breath.

"I am," her shoulders hunched, "And, I am afraid of the legacy your name carries."

"I am not my brother and I am more than my name," he spat fiercely, but still her voice remained soft,

"A name is all we have," she paused, "It is the only true currency we possess."

Sasuke grasped her chin and yanked her eyes to his. His fingers spread over her cheek, but she did not flinch. He let his hand fall, as if in a gentle caress, to the curve of her neck. His thumb rested over her pulse point that thrummed a steady beat, to his surprise.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked again, this time slow, more gently. But his eyes were unrelenting, commanding her attention and the devotion of her honesty. She sucked in her bottom lip and bit it to the point he thought she might bleed. But she released it and untangled her fingers from her robe.

"No," she wrested herself free and came to stand. Sasuke's eyes fell and that's when he noticed the smeared, dried blood on her sheets.

"Sakura," her name was a terrified whisper and she turned sharply, ready to reprimand him before he could speak further. She felt the blood drain from her face when she saw where he had cast his gaze.

"Sasuke-kun, I - ,"

"Are you hurt?"

"It is not what you think - ,"

A loud pounding sounded at her door, startling them; they had not heard anyone come through the front entrance. Sakura ran to her dresser and pulled out a formal robe, the outer layer to one of her kimonos, hastily shrugging it over to cover her indelicate attire, "Come in!"

Kakashi strode forth, casting a curious glance between Sakura who clutched the edges of her dress and Sasuke who appeared to be edging every manner of self control.

"Have I interrupted something?"

"Not at all," Sakura shook her head, "Forgive me, I've just woken up."

Kakashi did not remark on the fact that it looked as though she had not slept a wink, nor did Sasuke.

"Haruno-sama, your father wishes to see you," Kakashi gestured to the entryway and she followed his hand. She spared Sasuke a brief glance before exiting the room. Kakashi leered at him with his good eye, raising a questioning brow before shutting the door behind him.

Sasuke blanched, staring at the door and refusing to look back at the mess behind him.

* * *

"Good morning, Father, Mother," Sakura said jovially as she entered the sitting room. She had buttoned her covering and smoothed her hair in an effort to look descent before her parents. Kakashi retreated to the edge of the room with the other guards.

"Good morning, dear," her mother embraced her tightly, "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she smiled warmly, despite her words being so far from the truth.

"Wonderful," her father beamed, "Perhaps you will feel even more so upon hearing that your rooms have been refurbished. You may move back in to them if you like."

Sakura faltered; what would that mean for her and Sasuke? Would everything go back to the way it had all started? The tentative touches and whispered exchanges, the denial of passion - could she accept that? Would it even matter? How could they come back from the damage his family had created?

"That is such good news," Sakura breathed, lids fluttering rapidly as she struggled to process the weight settling heavy in her heart.

"Sakura, I thought we could spend the day together while they move your things back," her mother smiled and stroked her hair, "We could send for your ladies and have a relaxing time."

"Yes," Sakura swallowed and looked up at her mother, "I think that would be nice."

Perhaps, she thought, it might take her mind off of Sasuke.

"Kakashi-san, would you be so kind as to call on Hinata-chan and the other girls?" Mebuki asked and Kakashi nodded his assent. Mebuki moved Sakura into her adjacent sitting room while they awaited the arrival of her ladies.

* * *

Sasuke groped the sheets, running his hands over the paths his fingers had created the previous night. Could it be possible he had stolen her virginity in his own stupid fervor? He knew women bled during their first time. He gripped the silk and ripped it from the mattress in a fury. He kept no pretenses with himself; what else could it be? He would have noticed if it was her time of the month to bleed. Sasuke felt disgusted, thoroughly repulsed by his own greed and desires.

Suddenly, a flurry of maids and servants entered the room, working around Sasuke silently to gather Sakura's things while he stood there awkwardly clutching her soiled sheets. One of them came forward, holding out her hands to take the burden from Sasuke. He hesitated, but only for a moment before he relinquished the silks to her.

A sudden and intense dread filled him then. He had to leave, get far away from Sakura. She could lie about the blood on her sheets, claim it was her menstrual cycle, but Sasuke could not count on her to protect him. He was too close and he needed to take a step back. As much as it pained him, he knew it would be smarter to remove himself from her presence completely.

* * *

Sakura had seated herself by the window, a book laid out before her on the table, but her mind was a million miles away. Or rather, it was just across the palace grounds.

"Hinata-chan, has Naruto-kun written to you recently?" Mebuki's voice lilted with a teasing tone. Hinata blushed and dropped her knitting into her lap.

"Yes," her voice was a squeak, her cheeks bright red, "He says he has a surprise for me if - well, when he returns."

That snapped Sakura out of her reverie. She turned to look at Hinata.

"Do you think he will propose?" Ino asked.

"That must be it," Tenten shot to her feet and hurried over to where Hinata sat.

"Oh," Hinata ducked her head, dubious, "I do not know. I don't think so. He wouldn't - ,"

"Of course he would," Karin nodded fervently, "He's absolutely mad about you."

"He is?"

"He is," Sakura amended, "But you are worried for him, correct?"

"Yes," Hinata's voice was quiet, "I know he does not want me to worry, and so he never tells me how dire the situation truly is, but I fear he is in trouble."

"Let us talk of something else, ladies," Mebuki said with a strict smile. Sakura scowled at her mother and looked back to Hinata.

"And you love him?" she asked.

"C-Completely," Hinata seemed surprised by Sakura's question. Her eyes flitted to Mebuki, but were eventually drawn back to Sakura, "I am so scared for him at times; I fear this war will never end."

"It does not seem that way, does it?" Sakura asked softly.

"Ladies, please!" Mebuki snapped and Hinata shut her mouth. But Sakura shot a glare toward her mother.

"This war is not a secret," she spoke harshly.

"No, but it is upsetting. I will not have you talk of it so flippantly," Mebuki huffed and set her shoulders straight, much like a bird ruffling its feathers. Sakura grimaced and returned her attention to the window. A soft chatter resumed around her, casting her back into the depths of her thoughts. She tried to imagine what Hinata must go through simply pulling herself out of bed every morning. How would it feel to have one's love so far across the world? It was difficult enough with Sasuke simply in another building within the palace grounds. It was difficult enough knowing that there was more than only a physical space between them, but at least she knew where to find him; Hinata could not even be sure that Naruto was alive.

"Ino, Ino, there he is!" Karin got to her feet abruptly, clamoring for the window nearest her that happened to be away from Sakura.

"Oh, he's so handsome!" Ino exclaimed, pressing her hands to the glass. Sakura struggled to peer between the two from her position across the room.

"You girls are so foolish," Tenten sighed then glanced at Sakura, amending her confused expression, "I've not been able to get them to stop talking about the _other_ Uzumaki."

"Oh," Sakura struggled to keep herself in her seat. Apparently, in his absence, their infatuations with Sasuke had only grown stronger.

"Such a shame we have not seen him train with the other soldiers in so long," Ino teased, "I may have to take that shirt off myself."

Karin giggled.

"Girls!" Mebuki chastised with a soft laugh, "Such active imaginations."

"Hardly," Karin chimed in, "If I had one, I could imagine the clothes right off of him."

"Oh, how silly," Mebuki clucked her teeth, but Karin and Ino fell into a fit of laughter, "You had better get a move on, one of you. With a face like that, I do not believe he will be uncalled for for much longer."

Sakura's heart plummeted to her stomach. As much as she was angry with him, her mother's words had struck her with a palpable fear. She had proof before her that she was not the only one that lusted after him and she knew, quite suddenly, that was how Sasuke had felt upon reading Lee's letter. Sakura could still recall the rhythm of his breath as they fell asleep and she did not wish anyone else to know that sound. She closed her eyes and found that she could still conjure the way his arms felt around her and she did not want anyone else to know that touch. She wished for only herself to know how it felt to be the subject of his desires, coveted and kept by his passion.

And she had told him it was impossible for anyone to replicate his feelings for her. But without him there to reassure her of the same, it was difficult to see why he would choose somebody he could not have.

* * *

Sasuke had left her empty room to traverse the grounds, bound by his disquieting thoughts and unable to distract himself even with his job, because she was so out of reach. But his feet led him to the path of the Emperor's sitting room where the guards stationed there parted the doors for him to enter. Kizashi paused mid sentence when he spotted Sasuke and turned away from his delegates.

"Have you run out of things to do now that my daughter is preoccupied?" the man chuckled, but Sasuke could only manage a polite smile.

"I am rendered inept in her absence," it was not entirely too far from the truth. The Emperor laughed heartily, a few of his advisors joining in as a show of good standing.

"How can I help you, Uzumaki-san?"

Sasuke faltered for a moment, considering if he should make up an excuse instead of admitting to why he was actually there. But he found himself at a loss for those words. He could think only of his desire to be near her and how he should not want that.

"I thought we might talk of my reassignment."

"Yes," Kizashi beamed, "Yes, yes," he addressed his delegates, "Please, give us a moment."

His advisors bowed and took their leave, stepping aside Sasuke. The door shut quietly behind them, but it was as if it had slammed, he had asphyxiated himself so much with his own anxiety.

"Thank you," Sasuke's heart constricted painfully as he bowed in respect.

"Nonsense, I will always make time for the man who saved my daughter," Kizashi smiled, "Tell me what position you wish to have and I will make it available to you."

"I do not seek anything frivolous," Sasuke swallowed roughly, "I will leave it to you and what you deem me fit for."

Kizashi considered him for a long while, stroking his chin as he thought.

"I would like to keep you here," he spoke carefully, "For now. Once I feel we are safe at the palace, you may join your brother. In the meantime, would you consider a position as head of my guard? Kakashi-san is willing to take you on as an apprentice so that you may occupy his place when he joins Naruto-san. Our soldiers will be under your care and tutelage; it will fall on you to determine and ensure their loyalty."

Sasuke did not speak, caught in the tangle of the Emperor's words. They placed on him a heady weight. It was not the additional responsibility that deterred him, though he was not a sociable person. Instead, it was something else - someone else - that still held him back.

"Do not feel pressure to make your decision now," Kizashi smiled, assuring him, "Give it thought, but know that you have my full support."

"Thank you, sir."

* * *

Sasori, Kabuto, and Deidara approached the two soldiers stationed at the doors to the prison cells. The sun, though it had made very little appearance that snowy day, no longer shined from behind the clouds, shrouding them in the cover of darkness.

"I see you did not get cold feet," Sasori spoke with an air of condescension.

"We are here out of loyalty to the Akatsuki and Orochimaru, not you," one of the men spat.

"Then you have made a grave mistake," Sasori said through gritted teeth, "I am the Akatsuki. We are brothers in arms. Divided we will fall, but together we rise from the ashes. Are you with us? Or must we cut you down, too?"

The men looked to each other, exchanging the briefest, tentative glance before nodding to Sasori.

"We are with you."

"A good choice," Kabuto affirmed and opened his hand to reveal five small darts.

"One for each guard," Sasori explained, "This has to happen fast. No mistakes this time."

"Yes, sir," the soldiers responded adeptly, each taking a dart. Deidara and Sasori took theirs, examining the sharp point at the end, but careful not to touch it.

"The poison is deadly, but in order for it to work quickly, it has to enter through a vein," Kabuto explained, "The neck or the wrist will be easiest to get to."

"Like I said," Sasori spoke, "We have to move fast."

The soldiers nodded, yanking open the doors so that they could enter. The guards immediately stood to attention, defensive, but still trusting of their fellow troops. Meanwhile, the prisoners stiffened in their cells, recognition evident in their intent gazes.

"Shift break already?" one of the guards said with a quirked simper. Sasori smirked, each of his soldiers coming to face one of the Emperor's men.

"Your shift is over," Sasori hissed and jabbed the needle into the man's neck. The others followed suit, encouraging shouts of approvals from the Akatsuki prisoners. The guards fell limp to the floor and Kabuto took the keys off of one of their belts. He went around to each iron cell, releasing their fellow men, "My brothers, now it is our time! Where our comrades had failed, we will succeed. We will return to Orochimaru, regroup our resources, and attack the Harunos with the full force of the Akatsuki!"

His soldiers cheered and clapped him on the back as he strode to the end of the building. He ran his hand over the stone wall before settling it over one spot.

"Cover your ears."

* * *

Sakura fidgeted in her seat, her spirit restless as ever as she watched the sky darken. She felt herself enveloped with a sweet warmth as she thought of what nightfall had begun to mean to her and she longed to feel that security with Sasuke again. She ached to be near him, to hear his voice, even if he spoke of his hatred for her family.

"I think I would like to return to my rooms," Sakura stood from the table, breaching the silence that had settled.

"So soon?" Mebuki asked.

"I did not sleep so well last night," Sakura frowned, but averted her gaze.

"How unfortunate," her mother's voice held true concern, "Have Kakashi-san escort you back. I do not want you walking alone so late in the hour."

"Of course," Sakura nodded and bid good night to her ladies to which they all returned her the same. She slipped out of the door, into Kizashi's sitting room, and was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Sasuke speaking with her father. They both looked to Sakura when they heard her enter. Kizashi opened his mouth to speak when a thunderous bang shattered the silence around them. Kakashi ran for the Emperor, but Sasuke ran to Sakura, taking hold of her waist and ushering her into Mebuki's sitting room. Sakura held fast to him as he guided her through the doorway. Mebuki stood by the back of the room, holding open a panel in the wall where she had already led in Sakura's ladies. Another bang sounded and, instinctively, Sasuke pushed Sakura to the ground, covering her with his body.

"Stay here," he was breathless, hovering over her with an unbidden look in his eyes that caused her heart to swell. He was there, once more, running after her and proving that he would do just the same time and again. He pushed away to leave, but she caught his arm. She couldn't bring herself to say the words, but she didn't want to see him go, "Stay here."

She shook her head, but he tore himself away as a group of soldiers approached with the Emperor. Kizashi rushed to Sakura and pulled her into the crawlspace. She lost sight of Sasuke's back as they shut the panel behind them.

He ran out of the room, stepping onto the trampled snow. Sasuke tore through the gardens to the fire that sought to demolish one of the palace buildings. Many of the Emperor's guards had amassed there and he could hear the clamor of swords echoing through the grounds. They fought alongside the pyre as the smoke rose through the sky, the snow made more prominent against the dark backdrop.

Sasuke brandished a blade, ready to fight, but as he came closer, he noticed the tide of soldiers turning. They rushed him, knocking into Sasuke, stumbling over their own feet, scrambling like prey.

"Get back!" a guard shouted.

They were running away. . .

Sasuke caught himself, spinning on his heel just as another blast rocked the floor underneath him and flung him across the grounds. He landed on his back, pain spiraling through his body and a sharp ringing in his ear, both crescendoing until he lost consciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

**So this chapter just flowed outta me like the night I had food poisoning. Thanks for all your lovely support guys and for understanding the craziness of the holidays! Enjoy!**

* * *

 _His brother, the eldest, the prodigy of the Uchiha clan, the warrior first of his name, had finally returned. He arrived in the very same armor he had left with, its edges bent and the chest plate dented. His sword swung at his side as he moved one heavy foot in front of the other._

 _He was not met with cheers. There was no parade, nor songs sung by his people of the battle he had just witnessed. He walked his streets with hunched shoulders and eyes cast down to his feet. He was shrouded in the clouds of his memories, blinded by a thick haze of anger and desperation. And it seemed no one would approach him, either out of their own fear or because they had already deemed him a blemish on the great Uchiha name._

 _But then Sasuke ran to him, wrenching free of his mother's protective hold, and enveloped Itachi in a tight embrace. He appeared startled, as if Sasuke had knocked him out of a daze, but then he knelt down and wrapped his arms around his little brother. He shuddered against him, tears wetting Sasuke's yukata, refusing to let go. He was home, but he was not safe._

 _Then, Itachi felt Sasuke ripped out of his arms and looked up to find the stern, appalled visage of his father scrutinizing him. Fugaku moved in front of Sasuke, an impenetrable wall between the two brothers._

 _"Did you think we would protect you if you came back here?" Fugaku's tone cut like knives through his son's heart._

 _"I have nowhere else to go," his throat was dry; he was thirsty and he had not had a decent meal in days, "I will not stay long. I do not wish to put you in danger," his words were solemn, but his tears still flowed._

 _"And yet that is precisely what your sickening actions have done!" Fugaku barked. Many onlookers had come out of their homes to bear witness to the defamed son of the Uchiha Clan's leader. Sasuke watched from the clutches of his mother who shook with an unconquerable sorrow that ravaged her heart. She did not want Sasuke to succumb to the same fate Itachi had doomed himself to. But, history had a way of repeating itself. She saw it, clear as day, when she looked between her husband and Itachi._

 _He did not argue his father's accusation; he was well aware of what he had done and of the consequences he would be forced to endure._

 _"I promise you, I will not stay long," Itachi pleaded, on his knees before his father and the rest of his village. He was not asking for redemption, only shelter; for he knew the former was too far out of reach._

* * *

She could not stall her pacing feet, wringing her fingers together as a clamorous cacophony of swords infiltrated the walls of their hideout. Her parents had urged her to sit, but Sakura had refused. She could not keep the worry out of her mind or her heart as she thought of how Sasuke was faring outside. It did not help that she had happened to peer over at the corner of the room where Hinata was hunched, her haunted, transfixed stare miles away from her position on the floor. She knew Hinata was thinking about Naruto, and it only made her worry for Sasuke more. But she could not let herself sit still like that, knowing that her mind would only fret twice as much if her body exerted no energy at all.

Then, suddenly, she heard screams and she stopped her restless feet. She faced the panel door when a blast quaked the ground beneath her and she lost her footing, falling back. Her mother scrambled for her, trying to pull her away from the wall as everything fell into an eery stillness, Sakura's heart being the only thing she could hear.

* * *

 _"Are you a hero?"_

 _"No."_

 _Sasuke did not understand. All his young life his family had told him the Uchiha name was something to brandish, like a medal of valor in a time of war. And his father had said his brother would return a hero, but Itachi did not speak on the year he was away. Very unlike other soldiers of battle, Sasuke had not heard one word from his brother about what had happened during his time in the northern provinces._

 _"But father said - ,"_

 _"Father was wrong," Itachi stilled his hand that held the stone. Sasuke had watched him sharpen his sword in a rhythm too calculated and sure for a man so disturbed by his own thoughts, "It may seem impossible to you now - he is a wise man - but one day you will understand that he does not possess the knowledge of the world. He can see only so far in front of him and that sight does not extend much farther than the clan," he finally set his eyes on Sasuke, still clutching the hilt of his sword, "There will be times when we are forced to make sacrifices, so that we can protect the people we love."_

* * *

Sasuke startled awake, eyes wrenched open as a wave of dormant pain rolled over him. He was staring up at a high ceiling and an iron rod that circled around him, partially hiding him behind a thick curtain. Gradually, sound began to filter into his haze, the soft chatter and pained groans of the other occupants in the room. He tried to move, but found his limbs like lead and the pain too great to overcome. A nurse bustled over with a pitcher of water and refilled the glass at his bedside table.

"Do not try to move," she said sternly, "Your injuries are considerable, but you should count yourself lucky; you might walk away with only a few scars."

"Har - Sa - ,"

"The emperor is safe," she said and turned before Sasuke could clarify who he was asking about. The pain began to throb through his body again, reaching a boiling point too difficult to ignore. He let himself succumb to it and basked in the blinding numbness that followed.

* * *

Sakura did not realize how much she had expected to see Sasuke waiting outside for her when she emerged until she felt utter panic seize her at his absence. She had spent the rest of the night inside that crawlspace, waiting for the palace to be deemed safe enough so that they might come out of hiding. Kakashi-san was there instead, guiding her parents out of the sitting room, but Sakura began in the opposite direction, eyes scanning her desolate garden and the rubble in the distance where the smoke of a dying fire still billowed into the sky.

"Sakura," her mother hissed, eyes narrowed and hand outstretched to receive her. Sakura hesitated, gaze flickering between Mebuki and the devastation of the blast, "Come."

Sakura turned and walked toward her mother who tucked her into her side.

"Sir, we've found another body," Kakashi spoke quietly to the Emperor, out of earshot of Sakura's ladies, but she had heard. Sakura felt the breath stolen from her, syphoned from her lungs, a feeling thick as lead replacing it. There were bodies?

She couldn't croak out the word "Who?" Instead, she tore herself away, gathering the skirt of her robe in a vice grip and ran across the frozen field, the calls of her parents dying on the wind. The thump of her heart caused a ringing in her ears and the only thought circling her mind was: _not him. Kami, not him._

She came upon the desolate brick and ruin, but found much more than she had petitioned for. Slain men were strewn in the most crude manor, limbs flung this way and that, beneath the pieces of the crumbled building. Around her lay a menagerie of appendages separated from other parts of their bodies. Bile rose in her throat; how could she know if any of them were Sasuke? And what if they were? What if that was his arm slung over that brick or his leg trapped under a wooden beam? She could have collapsed under the weight of her own fear and disgust, but Kakashi caught her by the waist before she did.

"Come this way, Haruno-sama. You should not see these things," he urged her away as she began to tremble, leading her across the snow covered grounds. Her parents ran to her, Mebuki clutching Sakura tightly against her chest.

"Are you mad?!" Mebuki questioned, "Why would you wish to see such carnage?"

Sakura could only shake her head; she did not have an answer for her mother. She feared, too, that if she opened her mouth, she would not be able to contain what spilled forth, be it vitriol words or something much more incriminating.

"Perhaps you should rest, dear," Kizashi pulled her away from Mebuki. He took Sakura's hand and, after digging in his pocket, placed two keys in her open palm, "I've had your locks changed, as a precaution, and given you a spare. Kakashi-san, please escort her to her rooms."

Kakashi nodded and extended his arm which Sakura took with an unsteady hand. He led her away from the concerned stares of her ladies and took her around the path of the garden towards her rooms. He opened the door for her and she stepped quietly inside, gaze fixed on the clean floor no longer stained with the blood of the soldier that had threatened her life. She did not want to lift her eyes to see the rest of the room; she was terrified it would look exactly the same, like nothing had ever happened.

"Do you require anything?" Kakashi asked. Sakura stuttered in her steps, then turned to look up at him. She wanted to ask about Sasuke; she had to know, but at the same time, the part of her that was still hoping, praying he had made it out alive was also telling her not to raise suspicion. It would be difficult enough to explain why she had rushed to the graveyard of the blast in such a terrified frenzy.

"Were there any survivors last night?" he gave her an odd look; she had survived. She swallowed thickly and drew her bottom lip between her teeth before speaking again, "My guard, is he all right?"

Her heart pulsed tremulously, stammering and fighting against the small beat of silence that felt to her like an eternity.

"He is in the infirmary, recovering."

Sakura let go of the breath she had been holding and nodded softly.

"That is a relief."

"Indeed," Kakashi paused, his foot passing over the threshold, "Visitation hours end at nightfall."

With that, he left her room, shutting the door behind him. Sakura sank to her knees, the exhaustion of her helpless night passed behind the wall and the exertion of her heart causing her to crumble on the floor. She was so utterly drained that she could not move, could not think what to do in that moment, but still she felt the thread and she knew she wanted to pull herself to the other end. She knew she wanted to see him, needed to know that he was going to be okay.

* * *

Sakura slipped outside and found herself surprised that there was no guard at her door, but she could see most of the palace's occupants were engrossed with the destruction of the penitentiary. She went off in the other direction, following the path to the infirmary, a building she had not visited since she was a child learning, and failing, to ride on horseback.

"Haruno-sama, you should not be here," a harried nurse rushed over to her when she entered, "It is a gruesome sight."

"I will be only a moment, I - ," her eyes scanned the room, passing over the gurneys of men with bandaged limbs and, some, faces. She felt herself cut short, her stomach roiling with unease and fear.

"Are you looking for someone?"

"U - Uzumaki-san, where is he?"

"At the end, last curtain on the right," the nurse led her down the rows and peeled back the thick cloth. Sakura swore her heart stopped; she could feel it fissuring down the center. The nurse pulled a chair up to his bedside, "I will be attending to the others. If you do need anything, please call for me."

Sakura could only nod, but the nurse was already walking away. She shut the curtains, allowing them privacy, muting the world just beyond, and collapsed in the chair. With a trembling hand over her mouth, her eyes raked over the damage he'd endured. His forehead was covered with a thick white bandage, his left arm in a tight sling, and his unclothed abdomen was wrapped with bloodied gauze. His pants were torn up to the thighs where she saw a decoration of cuts and bruises, shining with the application of a salve. Yet with all this pain, he was fast asleep. Sakura took his right hand, placing her palm over his and squeezing tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun," her voice bubbled barely over a whisper. A guilt she hadn't known she'd been holding on to surfaced like an unwelcome memory. The only reason he was still there was because she had told him to stay. She had used his affection as a weapon against him, forcing him into a trap. His fingers twitched and she felt him return her hold with as much strength as he could garner.

"Sa - ura," he croaked, brows screwing shut before his lids fluttered open. His dark eyes, pupils blown so wide that they became lost in his irises, focused on her, "Are - okay?"

"Sasuke-kun, stop," she placed a hand on his cheek, stroking his jawline, "Please, do not talk."

He began to move, attempting to shift himself on his side, but she pushed against his chest, coaxing him back.

"Sakura, a - you okay?" he tried to lace their fingers together, to pull their hands closer, but he found himself to be too debilitated.

"Please, do not worry for me," Sakura shook her head, "I am so sorry, Sasuke-kun."

"It is not your fault," he said softly, fighting against the haze of sleep and pain.

"If I had not told you to stay - ,"

"You might be dead," he snapped, made lucid by her admission, and looked away from her. She swallowed and dropped her eyes.

"I understand you must be very cross with me," she said forlornly. Sasuke was not sure if he was. He was not certain of what he was feeling at that moment, except for the relief flowing through him at her safety.

"Are you not cross with me?"

"I do not know," she answered honestly, but rested her head at his side on the gurney, "I am just so happy you are safe."

He pulled his hand back to rest at her cheek where he swept away strands of her hair. He closed his eyes, tangling his fingers in her soft tendrils.

"I am sorry, too."

Sakura slipped her hand over his abdomen, fingers just centimeters from the gauze soaked with his fresh blood. Their breaths fell into synchronicity, so much so that, for a moment, Sakura imagined they were back in her room, in the comfort of her own bed.

"I do not want you to leave my side again," she whispered, "I can not bear it."

"I have told you, one day you will have to."

"Stop it. I can not think about that now, I do not wish to."

"Sakura, it is inevitable," he sounded tired, exhausted not only by the events of the previous night but by the same loop they seemed to always find themselves in, mostly by his own tormented hand. She swallowed harshly, thumb stroking against his skin, tracing the line of a muscle.

"As is my love for you," she whispered, "It seems," Sasuke opened his eyes, teeth gritted as he peered down at her. She was not looking at him, but he felt the scene was already too familiar. He could have guessed they had fallen asleep in similar positions a hundred times before, though he knew it was not true. But he knew he loved Sakura and he was suddenly very afraid at the prospect of sharing his feelings with her.

"I have hated your family for as long as I can remember," Sakura shut her eyes as she spoke, "Were you taught to hate mine?"

"Not hate," Sasuke mused, "Dislike perhaps," he shook his head, unable to stop the words from leaving his mouth, "But that became irrelevant when I met you."

Sakura fell quiet for a moment, her inquiry burning on her tongue. She struggled to bite it back, but as always, her feelings seemed to beat out the strength of her discretion.

"Why did he do it?

"Itachi never told me," Sasuke spoke slowly, fighting off the clutches of darkness as it edged into his eyes. He grit his teeth, "But he is gone now, so I suppose justice has been served."

Was it justice?, she wondered. It did not feel like it, not when she saw how fragile Sasuke had become in that moment.

"Your pain does not assuage mine," she murmured, "Nothing can replace the brother I never knew. And what's more, perhaps even worse still, no one could replace you."

Sasuke twisted his fingers in her hair, tight enough that she felt a soft pull, but she did not mind; the touch reminded her of his presence beside her, that he was not running into danger, at least in that moment.

"Sakura, I have to know," he swallowed harshly and looked anywhere but at her, "The blood on your sheets - was that me?"

He felt her stiffen beside him and her eyes snapped open.

"Sasuke-kun," she spoke carefully, with trepidation, "I will not lie to you, but please do not think you have done anything wrong."

"You have to go," he took his hand away, almost violently so. Her head shot up at that, eyes narrowing.

"What? No. Sasuke-kun, I will not just leave you like this."

"It is not fair to you to prolong something that will invariably end. I have already done too much damage."

She fell into a long, wordless stare.

"So, you think me damaged?"

"That is not what I said," he protested, feeling weak against the strain it took to lift his head.

"It is what you implied," she snapped in a harsh whisper. He realized he could not argue that point. She was tainted by him in a way that was irrevocable now, "You said I would have no decision in how I felt for you once I knew the truth," she took a deep breath, eyes not wavering from his, "You were right. I can not change the fact that I still love you. Nor can you."

They fell silent and Sasuke was compelled to look away, to see anything but her, like the bits of dust floating in the air, lighted by the sun streaming in from the exposed window above him.

"Do you expect me to act as if nothing has occurred between us?" her words were clipped; she had grown tired of his silence.

"Yes," he could barely get that one syllable out.

"But you protected me, again," she could not bring herself to understand his reasoning. It suddenly felt like eons ago that they had spent an evening wrapped within each other's arms. And still, the man she knew and the Uchiha she faced felt like two different people, "Why?"

"If you die, I might as well be subjected to the same fate," he could not meet her desperate gaze, words torn from him like an animal gutted, "To save myself a lifetime of suffering worse than the pain of death."

"Yet, you seek to push me away," he was not making sense to her.

"I am afraid of hurting you more than I already have."

"So now that you have bared yourself before me, shared your secrets, at least those most buried deep, I am to have none of you again?"

"We could never have possessed each other wholly," finally he looked at her, sober and fierce, "You are not mine to have."

"It does not matter to me that we are not supposed to be together. It only matters that you want me," her breath stuttered through her trembling lips, "As I want you."

"And what will you do when your family forces you to marry? Will I continue to be your lover in secret? Whilst your husband sleeps am I to come _fuck_ you like an Empress's whore?" he spat the words in a quiet tirade, so cruelly that Sakura flinched.

"I know only that I despise the future and I wish to live solely for these moments I have with you, short as they might be," she hissed, "Do not treat me like a petulant child simply because you are as miserable about this situation as I am."

She fished in her pocket for one of the keys to her rooms and slammed it on the table beside his empty glass of water.

"My father changed the locks to my room," her eyes raked over him in a cold calculating manner as she stood, "I want you to have the spare."

Sakura yanked the curtain back and stormed out of the infirmary, bypassing the busied nurses. She rounded snowy corners until she came upon her rooms and hurried through the entrance. In a fury, she ran to her bedroom and locked the door, then went about shutting her curtains until she was bathed in darkness. She peeled off her robe, leaving it on the floor, and sat in her slip at the edge of her bed. She remembered the first night he had saved her, when he had pulled her back to that very room, wretched and frightened at the prospect of losing her, but possessed completely by passion. He had burned with a fire that seemed like it would never extinguish. Now, she had to wonder if that same flame was barely flickering with life. She did not understand how he could speak his devotion, yet instead of act on it, push her away.

She did not think she could endure the torment any longer. But at the same time, she knew the validity of his fears. She was aware there were and would be consequences for her actions, but they failed to press as insistently as her need for Sasuke did. And that was all the justification she required to attempt to keep him at her side and within her heart.

* * *

 _"I came to warn you!" Itachi shouted and it caused his father to stop at the threshold of their house, "The choice is yours to believe me or not, but I am taking Sasuke away from here. I will protect him, even if you fail to."_

 _Fugaku spun on his heel, angered by Itachi's words, concerned more for his pride in that moment than the truth of his traitorous son's warning._

 _"You think me unfit to protect my own son?"_

 _"I am a product of your own design, father," his voice was cold, tempered with disdain._

 _"You insolent, contemptible - ,"_

 _"Fugaku!" Mikoto burst out of the house like a gale and came to stand beside Itachi, "You are blinded by your own pain! He is our child!"_

 _Fugaku clenched his fists, nostrils flaring as he fought to calm his breath. Behind him, Sasuke stood by the door, watching with fearful curiosity at the exchange between his family._

 _"I can keep Sasuke safe. I have arranged for him to be taken far from Konoha. No one will ever know he is an Uchiha," Itachi's voice betrayed him, desperation filtering into his words._

 _"It is your fault he can not carry our name with honor," Fugaku spat._

 _"The Uchiha name was tainted long before this war ever started," Itachi hissed, "You saw to that when you defied the Emperor's will. I merely finished the task for you."_

 _"You dare slander me in my own home?!"_

 _"This was once my home, too!" Mikoto gripped Itachi's arm as he began to advance on his father, "And though I was exiled, I will still fight to my dying breath to protect it! The Akatsuki are coming. The Hokage will not help you and the Emperor can not stop them. They have destroyed villages before and this one will be no different, father. But if you leave now, you can survive," Itachi watched Fugaku; he had settled into a grave look of contemplation, "Please, listen to me."_

 _"Fugaku, what if Itachi is right?" Mikoto questioned, "We have no chance! We have to get Sasuke to safety! He is only a boy."_

 _Fugaku scowled and shook his head._

 _"Why should I trust you?"_

 _There was a distance there, something tangible that Itachi had perhaps never noticed until that moment. But it stretched between he and his father, opening like a chasm, allowing every memory shared, every piece of their history to become a part of that distance. It did not matter that Fugaku had held Itachi's hands when he had taken his first steps. It did not matter that Fugaku had watched Itachi do the same for Sasuke. Itachi had sealed his own fate, had left every bridge to scorching ruins and every tie like a ribbon weathered by a storm the day he had killed his best friend._

 _"Whether you trust my words or not, I am taking Sasuke before the Akatsuki come."_


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much for keeping up with me and this story. Some crazy stuff went down this month that I was not prepared for. I really wanted to try and get these chapters churned out once a week, but with finals and so many people becoming unreliable at work, it just became impossible. Anyways, you guys are awesome, I really appreciate all the love and support this story is getting! Enjoy!**

* * *

Sakura swiped a finger beneath her eyes before anyone could notice, watching the nurse peel back Sasuke's bandages. He winced as the cool air hit the open wound on his stomach.

"Are you certain you wish to see this, Haruno-sama?" the woman asked. Sakura nodded fervently.

"The practice of medicine is intriguing to me," her voice came strained, but the nurse did not notice. Sasuke's eyes, however, met Sakura's and she tore her gaze away. They both knew why she was really there. The nurse dropped the soiled wrappings into a basket beside his gurney.

"The water should be heated now, I'll return presently," the woman took up the basket and slipped out of the curtains, leaving them alone. Sakura's hand shot to Sasuke's, clutching it tightly with a force that told him she never wanted to let go. Her eyes glanced the table by his bed and she noted that her key still sat there, unattended.

"Are you not pleased to see me?" Sakura asked quietly, watching his brows furrow as he looked at her. She had been there from the moment he had woken up, which was not long ago. He had slept right through lunch, an exhaustion claiming him like no other; it was one that had been enough to silence his nightmares for most of the night.

"You should not be here."

"No?" she frowned, "It is my palace and you are my guard; I shall go about my business as I please."

Sasuke scowled. He tried to look away from her but his neck felt stiff from lying immobile on the bed for so long. She shook her head and sighed.

"Let me," slipping her hands beneath his neck, she fluffed his pillow, allowing him better elevation.

"You do not need to care for me," he muttered when she resumed her seat, "The nurses will see to that."

"And if I wish to care for you?"

"It is not your duty."

"No, it is my privilege," she scowled, then straightened her back when the nurse reentered with a pan of hot water and a towel.

"Kusako-san," another woman rushed in through the curtains, breathless, "Yunago-san is hemorrhaging! We need you right away!"

Kusako dropped the pan and cloth at Sasuke's bedside table and muttered a quick 'excuse me,' before both nurses hurried away.

"You should return to your rooms now," Sasuke frowned, watching the curtains still swaying from the nurses's abrupt exit, "There is no point in you staying to watch this."

"Nonsense," Sakura shot to her feet and walked around the span of the gurney to retrieve the towel. She dipped it in the steaming water, wrung it out, then reached for the cut on Sasuke's head. His hand snatched her wrist.

"Do not do this."

"Why?" Sakura's voice was a quiet snarl, "I am not incompetent. I have been in this very infirmary before; I know how to clean a fresh wound."

In truth, that was not his concern. He was surprised, actually, how the idea of her tending to him was so natural it had not even caused him to blink. But, his fear stemmed from her touch against his fragile, naked skin. He did not wish to be at the mercy of her will in such a condition.

"Why must you torment me?" his hand shook with restraint but Sakura mistook it for fatigue.

"I am only returning the favor," her words were cold, striking him more deeply than the debris of the explosion had. She tore her hand away, dipped the towel and wrung it out once more. When she reached for him, he did not stop her. Sakura rubbed the marred skin of his forehead, clearing away the blood, and slowly inching her way closer to the cut. He winced when she grazed it. She frowned, brows scrunching tightly and folded the cloth to present a clean side. Gingerly, Sakura pressed the warm towel to the cut and dabbed lightly, "Tell me if it hurts and I will stop."

It stung terribly, but Sasuke did not say a word. He thought, for a moment, that if he spoke, he might just voice enough to push her away. But he could not conjure a good enough reason to do so in that moment. Sakura set the towel in the heated water once again, twisting the blood and dirt out of the cloth before bringing it to the large, muddled wound at his abdomen. As she had before, she began by clearing away the surrounding area, revealing more of his bare skin inch by inch. She lingered more than she needed to, taking her time with intention, bordering the hard lines of his muscles.

"May I ask you a question?" her hand did not falter in its path as she spoke.

"I do think I could stop you," he had meant the jab to be lighthearted, but Sakura met his eyes with a sullen expression. She appeared to care for his permission, and would not speak until he gave it. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Yes, you may."

"How did you know to find me that night?" her fingers shook slightly, but she tightened her grip on the towel until she could not see the tremor anymore, "No one else came for me, but you knew I would be in direct danger."

Sasuke breathed deeply, nostrils flaring with agitation. Sakura dropped her eyes as she came closer to the edges of his laceration. It was deep and wider than the one on his forehead, but not as long as she had been led to believe with all the blood. It almost looked to her as though something had become lodged in his stomach, causing a chill to ripple over her skin.

"I did not lie to you," he said quietly, almost in a whisper. He could not risk anyone hearing, "A man _did_ tell me you would be in danger; he recognized me."

"If he knew you, then would he not have worked harder to conceal himself from you?" Sakura took care to whisper as well, fearful that the nurses could come in at any moment.

"He did not know me personally, but he knew Itachi," Sasuke felt himself reluctant to speak further, but he was sure the worst had already been revealed between them, "The man said I was to pay for my family's mistakes."

"Why?" Sakura looked up, then, pausing in her movements, "If he was intent on attacking me, why would he care what your family did?"

"He blames Itachi," Sasuke stopped, watching her open gaze and becoming fully aware of how his next words would sound to her, "For his sister's death."

Sakura did not say anything. She did not make a snide comment. Instead, she wrung the towel out once more, turning the water in the bowl a deeper red. Placing the warm cloth over the wound she applied just the softest pressure, but Sasuke lifted his working arm and put his hand over hers, inhibiting the action. She shook her head and screwed her eyes shut, as though she were trying to stave off her own emotions.

"I do not know if it is possible to miss somebody I have never met in my life," her breath shuddered through her lips, "But I feel that I do everyday."

He did not have an answer for her, but rather only another question. Was it possible to hold both love and hatred for the dead? He realized in that moment, that he might have begun to question his loyalty to his family. Sasuke had never known the truth behind Itachi's actions; he had never felt that he needed to. He had always trusted his brother implicitly. But, Itachi had never mentioned a woman, nor had he spoken of his knowledge of the Akatsuki or how he would know they would attack the Uchiha Compound that night. He began to ask himself why the claims of one man, an enemy, might lead him to distrust his own family, but then Sakura took her hand away and pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Why did he have to take him away from me?" her bloodied hands shook as she twisted the soiled rag between them, "How many years did he get with you? Five? Six?"

Sasuke was ushered into silence by her inquiry.

"And I got nothing. My own brother and I can not even carry his memory," she was trembling violently, eyes thrown to the ground as if he were not worthy of her gaze. He did not feel that he was deserving of her presence then, either.

"I can only apologize for my brother's actions so often, but there will never be truth to those words," he said quietly, watching the hair fall in front of her face. He lost sight of her green orbs and it caused an irritation to settle beneath his skin, "I can not apologize for something I know nothing of. It would serve no purpose other than to insult you and that would never be my intention."

His words ended with a sharp snap that brought her gaze forward. For once, Sasuke was faced with the forbearing expression he always seemed to carry, the quiet stoicism, but in her features, it appeared as a weapon; a corporeal barrier that sprung to life in the small space they occupied.

"You are right, I should not be here," she set the cloth in the bowl and shook the water from her fingers, before shoving the curtains aside to leave. He did not stop her; he only watched her slip away from him. But his uncertainty did not leave with her and he knew then, that the farmer was not the only reason he had been clouded by doubt.

* * *

The debris had gradually become covered throughout the day by the torrential snow so much so that when Sakura emerged from the infirmary, she looked across her garden, to the other side of the lake and it was as if nothing had occurred there; if only that had been the truth, she thought forlornly. Sakura hugged her cloak tighter, the sharp wind biting her bare knuckles as she trekked back to her room. Kakashi stood outside and, as she approached him, a bemused expression came over him.

"It seems Uzumaki-san is right to keep such a close eye on you," Kakashi pondered aloud, "You were gone when I returned."

Sakura gave him a weak smile, but his derisive grin and blunt words unnerved her. Kakashi pulled open the doors and Sakura stepped inside. She ran for her bedroom, locking herself in and kicking off her shoes. She sat with a huff on top of her sheets and sulked horribly. How was it that she could feel so strongly for a man like Sasuke and yet harbor anger against him for the fate of her brother at the same time?

* * *

"We split up here," Sasori spoke with an air of command and pointed at the prisoners with a sharp finger, "Half of you will take the East and the other half will take the West, with us."

"Do you really think that to be a good idea?" one of the men barked.

"It will make it more difficult for them to catch us," Deidara stepped in with a defensive sneer.

"But if they do, then we will be outnumbered."

Sasori scowled, eyes narrowing to a glare as the Akatsuki warriors backed away, creating a divide. Almost two dozen men stood as a wall against Sasori, promulgating their allegiance and their skepticism of his.

"Then pray they do not catch you," Kabuto spoke carefully, slowly as if to a child, "The Emperor does not have enough men to hunt us if we are going in two different directions. I doubt he would send them past his own border, as well; that's less than a week on foot."

"Do not carry fear in your hearts," Deidara stated, "We are not far from freedom."

The prisoners considered their accomplices for a long moment. Could they trust each other? Sasori and his followers did not carry the brand of Orochimaru's army, but they had certainly proved some measure of loyalty by defying the Emperor's will. Though their fealty was faulty, half of the soldiers came to stand beside Sasori.

"Then, we will meet you at the border," one of the men said before turning and walking to the East.

"I pray they do not find us all," Kabuto called out as they turned and began to the West.

"Prayers are for the weak," Sasori hissed quietly, breath freezing in the air. His eyes scoured the white expanse around him, a blank canvas awaiting his artistry, "We make our own fate from here."

* * *

 _"Once for yes, twice for no," Itachi said, drawing a notch in the trunk of the tree with his knife. He drew two more, close together, signifying the words he spoke. Then, he carved out the shape of an X, "This is a call for help," he placed the point of the knife between the top two lines of the X, carving out a small divot, "This means your position of distress is in the North. Left would be West, right: East, and bottom: South."_

 _"Did they come for you?" Sasuke asked quietly. It caused Itachi to pause and an unpleasant shadow to fall over him. He kept his back to Sasuke, facing the marks in the thick trunk of the tree. The hand holding the knife dropped heavy at his side._

 _"No, they could not," he said solemnly. He would have left it at that, but the Uchihas were a clan of warriors and Sasuke would be no different. Itachi had sought to protect his brother from the horrors of war for as long as he could, but he had underestimated how much Sasuke had learned in his absence._

 _"Because they died," Sasuke's words were a statement; he did not need to inquire because he had heard everything from his father. He had heard the tirades Fugaku unleashed about Itachi when the news came to their village._

 **You are not like him, Sasuke. I am thankful everyday that you never will be.**

 _"Yes," Itachi said, sparing his brother a slight glance. Sasuke was unassuming and looked up without accusation, speaking so low, his voice was almost carried out with the wind,_

 _"Did you kill them, too?"_

* * *

"Haruno-sama, how are you feeling?" Lee approached her carefully, skirting the bench where she sat to watch the sun rise behind the dark clouds, as if he sought her invitation.

"As well as I can be," she answered simply, forgetting manners for the briefest moment and failing to ask him how he was.

"Did you receive my letter?"

She stiffened, her eyes flicking to his quickly.

"Yes, thank you."

"I had not heard from you, so I was not sure," he said quietly, "I was concerned."

"Of course," she responded and gestured for him to sit beside her, "I apologize, but I have not had much time to think."

"I understand," Lee took a bold step and, after seating himself, clasped her hands between his, "I do wish you would confide in me; you should not have to bear your unpleasant feelings alone."

"You speak so boldly, Lee-san," Sakura swallowed audibly while her fingers twitched in his hold.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" his eyes bore into hers and Sakura found herself tearing away from him. She was incredibly uncomfortable, but she could never admit that, not for her pride and not for her diligent training in etiquette.

"I am flattered, Lee-san," she blinked rapidly and turned away from him, facing the direction of the wind, because it seemed to be easier than confronting his curious visage, "But I do not - ,"

She broke off. How could she possibly explain it to him? Sakura was not emotionally stunted. She was not without need for connection, obviously. But how could she tell Lee that she had already found that connection, that she already had that person she wished to confide in? As obstinate as he was and as stagnant as they seemed to be at that moment, Sakura could not envision a man to rival Sasuke.

She felt herself choking on her words then, vision becoming blurred as the snow whirled around them, and so, Sakura walked away, bottling every shred of her will that told her to run and incarcerate herself within the walls of her bedroom. She did not hear Lee calling after her as she steered herself in the direction of the infirmary.

* * *

"I do not understand!" Kizashi slammed his hands on the table, a fury inciting his movements, "How have we lost them?! They created an explosion big enough to shake the entirety of my kingdom, stole a horde of _my_ prisoners, and you _lost_ them?!" Kizashi did not wait for an answer, he already had one. He lashed out, striking the papers from his desk. Kakashi stood at the back of the room, watching the line of guards at the unfortunate end of the Emperor's wrath.

"Well?!" the soldiers flinched as his booming voice echoed through the room, "Have you nothing to say?"

"We lost their tracks with the snow," a soldier piped up. He then dared to speak further, pleading with the Emperor, "We do not have the men required to track them down. What few guards I have left have been injured by the attack. We are what is left and we can not leave the palace so defenseless."

The Emperor scowled, a low rumble emanating from his chest; he could not argue. There was little hope for them and it dawned on him like the cold, quiet mornings of winter, desperately slow, but all consuming.

"We need more soldiers," Kakashi stated plainly, declaring the transparent notion, "Have you considered the Hokage's offer further?"

"That is a last resort," Kizashi grimaced, eyes to the floor where he knew the Hokage's entreaty lay amongst the mess he had made, "One I will not consider at this time."

"Then, what are we to do, Sir?" another soldier asked.

"Kakashi-san," the Emperor's gaze hesitated, avoiding all attention fixed on him, "Send word to the village of the Sand."

"Sir, they would not possibly - ,"

"They must!" Kizashi's voice cut through the space, "Perhaps they are willing to set aside our differences, for the sake of a common enemy. If we can enlist their help, we may have a fighting chance."

Kakashi nodded brusquely and left the room with the other soldiers. The Emperor sat with a heavy sigh behind his desk, alone for the first time in what felt like an eternity. He placed his head in his hands, the burden of the Empire weighing unsteady on his shoulders, as his eyes began to burn; Kizashi felt the tears hit his palms before he could garner the will to stop them.

* * *

"Haruno-sama, how can I help you?" Kusako approached her as soon as Sakura had stepped through the doors, "If you are here for Uzumaki-san, he is resting now."

"That is good to hear," Sakura smiled sweetly. She fumbled with her thoughts for a moment, failing to present a better reason as to why she had come yet again, "M-May I see him?"

"If you wish," Kusako nodded and ushered her over to his bedside, the curtains having been pulled far apart, "He informed me you helped to clean his wounds."

"Oh," she exhaled softly, eyes falling to his serene features.

"You did quite well," Kusako said with a small laugh, "You do certainly have a knack for it."

"Thank you," Sakura offered the older woman a brief glance, recalling the first time she had fallen from her horse and scraped her leg on a branch, "I did have you to teach me."

Kusako smiled and patted her on the shoulder before leaving her be. Sakura attempted to act inconspicuously as she drew the curtains around Sasuke's bed before sitting in the chair that still resided from her last visit. She twisted her fingers together in her lap to prevent her restless hands from taking reign. The conflict that raged within her was a difficult thing to quiet and she found that it was largely due to her limitless ability to argue with herself.

Sasuke fidgeted on the gurney, twisting until he winced and his eyes were wrenched open from the pain. Her hand flew to his chest, causing his gaze to lock on her.

"Do not move in a such a way," she chastised, "You are only going to injure yourself further."

"Why are you here?" he croaked out.

"I will come if I please," she snapped; he glared at her for it.

"And if I do not want you here?"

"Do you think you can hurt me more than you have done already?" she questioned harshly.

"If I must hurt you to keep you away then so be it," he snarled. Sakura recoiled from her placement on his chest with an air of opposition.

"Must you be so crass?"

"If you do not like it, then leave," he hissed, "I will not put on affectations for you."

"I have never asked you to," she retorted, stiffening in her chair, "I do not wish you to be anyone else."

"No?" his voice lilted as if in an attempt to mock her, "You do not wish me to be born of a different name?"

She stuttered, faltering in her thoughts, but found that she already knew the answer to that question.

"If you had been, I fear I would not love you," she admitted softly, casting her eyes to her hands, wrung taut in her lap. Then, suddenly, her words came in a passionate tumble, wrought with pain and desperation, "So, you may beat my heart if you feel that you need to, you may strike it as you wish, but I am certain you will only be disappointed. You have already sullied me in ways that cannot be undone and if I am to be punished for loving you then I will hold my head high as they drag me through the streets and cry, 'Whore.'"

Sakura stood quickly then, slipping through the curtains and muttering under her breath, "Good day."

* * *

Sakura lay in her darkened room, wound into a weeping mess atop her sheets. How could he be so cruel? To deny her something she had already been allowed to taste, to deny her a passion she had basked in for one brief moment, caused a swell of sorrow to rise within her. She knew his statements came from the same fractured place in her heart that prohibited their indulgences, but it did not make the truth of them any easier to swallow.

* * *

"We should rest now," Kabuto kicked the gathering snow at his feet and looked up to the clouds. A storm was brewing, the sky darkening to near black. He peered back, in the direction of the palace, and saw that it had already been struck by the harsh determination of winter.

"We do not rest until we reach the border," Sasori trudged on, but Deidara and the other men fell behind, stepping beside Kabuto.

"They will not be able to track us in these conditions," Kabuto had to shout over the howling wind that gathered speed.

"If we stop, we give them the opportunity to gain on us," Sasori snapped.

"We will not be able to find our way," Deidara added and Sasori growled, breath puffing in the air.

"There is a cave not far from here," he hissed, eyeing the dismal conditions before him; their visibility was worsening by the second. Deidara was right, it was already becoming difficult to find the path home, "If we can make it there, we will be shielded from the storm come nightfall."

"Very well," Kabuto acquiesced and their envoy continued forward.

* * *

She was there when he woke the next day, tired eyes tracing the words of the book in her lap, but her restless mind was unable to retain the information. He watched her for the briefest of moments while she failed to notice he was aware, and then he spoke,

"What are you doing here?"

She was startled out of her reverie and adjusted her posture, closing the journal.

"I came to see you."

He wasn't entirely sure why her admission had shocked him, but he assumed it was because he expected her to be angry with him after the way he had spoken to her; he had not expected to see her at all. He almost wished he did not have to. Guilt and shame were a difficult thing to swallow and they had been lodged in his throat since she'd left. There were not words strong enough to convey how horrible he felt, how desperately he wanted to apologize to her.

"I've never been upset with somebody I've been in love with," she paused and gave a small laugh; he knew she was thinking that she'd never been in love at all, "But I imagine it is much like being upset with a parent; the love is always there, it is an unconditional thing."

He wanted to protest, to push her away so that she would not wish to see him. She should not love him after the way he had treated her, but he also wanted to hold her close and revel in the way she spoke to him.

"Please," she said quietly, "Do not make me leave."

"Do you really wish to stay? And see me like this?" he was certain he looked as awful as he felt.

"I want all of you," she proclaimed unabashedly, "The good and the bad."

Despite it all, he thought her declaration to be quite bold. He could not look away from her enchanting eyes as she continued to speak,

"I am not better without you," she shook her head, "And even the pain, unbearable as it is, is a promise that you are here."

"Is that promise enough?"

"For now," she answered, "But I've told you before, it is not enough to have only a part of you. If I have not left you now, knowing what I know, I doubt there is much else that would cause me to turn away from you."

He caught her hand, knotting their fingers together.

"I know you would not leave me by choice," he made sure to put emphasis on his last couple words. It would be a forcible, violent thing that ultimately tore them from each other; the high hand of her family's power bringing them apart.

"I do not wish to lose you, Sasuke-kun, but I would rather know all of you for only a moment than have none of you for an eternity."

"And yet, I would rather you survive without me, than perish for knowing me."

Her thumb stroked his knuckles and she chewed her lip with contemplation, brows scrunched tight.

"We are quite the match, wouldn't you say?" she frowned, but there was a tone of sarcasm to her words.

"Yes," he swallowed and spoke slow, "Doomed from the start."

"Do you think so?"

"Yes."

"Is that bad?"

"I do not know."

"I would think only the greatest loves, the legacies left by them, are made only possible by the urgency of their impending destruction."

"Perhaps you are correct," he said thoughtfully. Sasuke had seen urgency in his father's eyes the night Fugaku had last looked on Mikoto.

"May I come visit you tomorrow?"

"If you wish."

"I do," she released his hand, "But you know that. Do _you_ wish me to come tomorrow?"

Her eyes searched his, but she was not imploring him with a silent plea. She wanted him to make the decision, needed him to. She needed to see that he would put the effort forth to continue seeing her, as she did for him.

"Yes," the word came out before he even thought to stop it, and when he did think to do so, it became irrelevant when she lit up with a bright smile. Sakura kissed his cheek and stood.

"Then, I will see you tomorrow," she left his gurney, book in hand, and shut the curtains behind her.

* * *

 _Sasuke did not speak, his small knuckles were white with how tautly he pulled at the grass beneath him._

 _"Are you upset that I am leaving?"_

 _A tear rolled down his cheek and splattered on his knee. He was attuned to the way it rolled down his leg, leaving a cold trail._

 _"I do not like this game," Sasuke mumbled._

 _"I think it is a fine game," Itachi plopped beside him on the forest floor, regarding his downcast gaze briefly before looking up to the trees that circled above them. The coverage of leaves gave them protection from the sweltering sun and a slight breeze wrapped around them, a cool caress, "This game is best when words fail us."_

 _"I think it is silly."_

 _"Are you upset with me?"_

 _Sasuke looked up at his brother whose eyes traversed the sky as though it were the last time he would look upon it. Sasuke considered the question. He knew he was upset but he also knew, somewhere within his mind, his brother had no control over the situation. He tugged on Itachi's shirt once._

 _"Are you upset that I am leaving?"_

 _He tugged one more time._

 _"Me, too," Itachi said quietly._

* * *

"Put your arm around my shoulder," Sakura tightened her hand at his waist, fingers folded over his bandage. Sasuke complied, leaning his weight against her gradually, "Ready?"

He nodded and she stood carefully, pulling him up one inch at a time. Sasuke hissed at the pain that shot up his leg and faltered, before putting the pressure on his good foot. Sakura stumbled a bit, trying to accomodate his shifting weight, before finding a firm stance.

"It is not painful if I do not lean on it, but it is difficult," he hopped forward and she stepped in turn.

"Do you want to sit back down?" her brows furrowed as she peered at him.

"No," he shook his head, "It feels good to stand."

"You should stretch, too, Sasuke-kun."

"Are you to be my personal physician now?"

"Am I not more competent?" she teased. Sasuke met her amused gaze and his mouth turned up in a small smirk.

"I am content to be your patient," he murmured.

"Only content?" she asked, feigning innocence. He watched her for a long moment before admitting,

"I can not express how much I wish I could take back the vitriol words I spoke to you."

"I do not condone your words," she swallowed and tightened her grip, "Nor will I excuse them, but frustration is a passion as great as adoration. And - ,"

"Often times they are the same?" he guessed.

"Yes," she grinned, "Or rather, they go hand in hand."

"I take it I am frustration, and you are ardor?"

"I would venture we are composed of both," he smirked at Sakura's words and leaned closer to her. Sasuke caught her gaze dropping to his lips and felt the insistence to kiss her, but once more was caught by his own moral constraint, "Thank you for coming today."

"Of course," she smiled, a weak, faulted quirk of her mouth, and stepped just a fraction away from him.

* * *

"This arrived for you just now, Sir," Kakashi extended a letter to the emperor, a wax seal brandished boldly on the parchment. Carefully, the Emperor unfolded the paper and began to read. His breath hitched in his throat and he stood with an excited exhale.

"Prepare a company of men and ready the horses," he spoke urgently, "We leave in three days."


	15. Chapter 15

**Today is my last shift of working two weeks in a row; I am literally going to sleep ALL DAY LONG tomorrow. Anyways, thanks for sticking around guys. Enjoy the latest installment of this soap opera and know that we are coming closer to the chapter I posted in Reflective. Enjoy! xo**

* * *

"She's not here?" Lee asked, utterly baffled. The palace was a grand stretch of land, but he had so rarely seen Sakura outside of her garden or her sitting room; it had not occurred to him that she would choose to roam anywhere else, least of all with how harsh the winter had become.

"I escorted her to the infirmary when she woke this morning," Kakashi stated, his uncovered eye sweeping past Lee as if he melted into the background.

"The infirmary? Is she all right?" panic seized his voice; was that why she had run off?

"To my knowledge, but she has been making regular visits there," Kakashi saw Lee squirm out of the corner of his eye, before he dashed in the direction of the infirmary and he did not attempt to stop him.

* * *

They were covered once more by the secrecy of the curtains surrounding his bed, secluded in a space that, for the moment, they could call their own.

"I brought you something from the kitchens," Sakura pulled up a tied cloth from the sack she had carried with her that morning. She pulled apart the knot and revealed a few slabs of seasoned meat, some rice, and a loaf of fresh bread. Sasuke adjusted himself carefully, coming to a seated position, propped up with pillows behind his back. Sakura set the bounty in his lap and tore off a piece of bread. She dressed it with some of the meat and presented it to him.

"Will you attempt to feed me, too?" he asked with a smirk.

"If I thought you would let me, yes," she answered simply, "I told you if I could restrain you, I would. It seems my prayers were answered in part."

They both laughed softly at her morbid humor, then he took up the food and began to eat. It tasted much better than the slop they had been feeding him since his stay at the infirmary began. After some silence, he spoke,

"Is your father aware you are here?

"No," Sakura shook her head, "I have not seen him since the attack, but I know he has been quite busy."

"Do you not think you raise suspicion by being here every day?"

"Perhaps," she thought carefully for a moment, tearing off scraps of bread and meat for him; his arm was still in its sling, "I do not want to put you in danger, but I needed to see you. I can not ignore the fact that you are in here. You continue to talk of how your presence in my life can only lead to my misfortune, yet here _you_ sit, at the edge of my sword, so to speak."

"And the predator becomes prey?"

"That would imply you were never prey to begin with," she gave him a coquettish grin, eyes gleaming with mirth as she raked them down his body most ostensibly.

"How improper you are," his words he uttered darkly, a husky rumble emanating from his chest and he felt a searing heat rush through him; desire.

"And that is something no one could teach me," she stated proudly. Sasuke took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, bringing her gaze back to his.

"Why must you look at me that way?"

"Like what?" she bit her lip, seeming to be genuinely perplexed. He grit his teeth and let her go, shaking his head.

"It is nothing," he sighed softly.

"Sasuke-kun, what is it?"

"Put it out of your mind."

She breathed deeply, glowering at him in a way that caused his heart to constrict with guilt.

"I wish you would trust me," her voice surprised him, emitting quiet and hopeful, rather than accusatory.

"I have confided in you what I keep from most everyone, how could you think I do not trust you?"

He appeared baffled by her question, but she shook her head in defiance.

"You have not used that information as a bridge for our trust but a barrier against it. You hide behind both names, trying to distance us further," she was quiet and calm as she berated him, "It is an excuse to keep us apart."

" _You_ see it as an excuse," he corrected, "But for me it is not so simple. I had never intended for my lineage to be known to anyone other than the Uzumakis."

"Least of all to me?"

"Yes," he nodded, somber, "To be judged by a name for an act I did not commit nor condone, it is cruel."

He looked at her expectantly, but she seemed to prefer to bow her head in shame, rather than meet his eyes.

"It is difficult to separate you from your name."

"Perhaps it would be easier if you do not," he breathed deeply, "Would it not be easier to feel one way about me, rather than to have your heart pulled in two separate directions?"

"I have never known anything else," her eyes were forlorn as they lifted gradually, "I have always been forced between what I desire and what is my duty."

"I have never had the luxury of desire."

"Is that why you are so hopelessly lost?" despite the melancholy air around them, she smiled, "You have never been able to indulge yourself and so you do not know how to when the opportunity arises?"

"I suppose," Sasuke swallowed thickly, thinking of how greatly he had indulged in her not long ago.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura took his hand suddenly, tightening her fingers with his, "Do you still desire me?"

"Yes," his throat felt dry as he attempted to think of anything other than how she had writhed beneath his touch on her bed. She fell quiet and chewed her lip, mind racing with thoughts she struggled to voice.

"I can not despise you, and I do not wish to," she finally spoke, "Between duty and desire, there is no competition."

Suddenly the curtains were flung apart and Sakura ripped her hands away, whirling about to face a breathless Lee.

"Haruno-sama, are you all right?" his eyes darted between her and Sasuke rapidly, before finally settling on her stiff form.

"Yes, I am fine. Lee-san, what are you doing here?" she rose from her chair steadily, but almost lost her balance when he pulled her sharply into his tight grip. Startled, Sakura pushed against him and Lee's cheeks turned a bright red as he realized what he'd done.

"Forgive me, Haruno-sama," he released her as though she'd burned him, "Kakashi-san informed me you had been here frequently - I thought perhaps you had been injured in the attack."

"I am fine. You need not worry for me," Sakura smoothed her skirt and spoke softly, eyes darting to Sasuke, "I have been visiting Uzumaki-san; he has valiantly saved my life twice now."

"A service I am grateful for," Lee nodded to Sasuke who bowed his head respectfully, so as to hide his gritted jaw, "I was concerned, as well, by the way you had run off the other day."

"Yes," Sakura sighed, chin dipping low, before she found the strength to pull herself back up, "As I have said, I am not myself lately. These recent events have put me on edge."

"Of course," he held his hand out to her and Sakura took it gingerly, "Let me escort you back to your rooms; you should be resting."

"I suppose," Sakura dared to glance back at Sasuke, as Lee held the curtain open for her. She bowed her head, "Uzumaki-san."

Sasuke kept his mouth shut as he watched them go; he was certain the words lodged in his throat would be most inappropriate if he voiced them. His eyes strayed to the key she had left him. It was a gift, but he began to feel as though he did not belong in her world. He was not deserving of anything decent or good in life and that was Sakura. But Lee, he dressed the part, he spoke to her as one should speak to an heir, and he not only knew his place, but Sasuke's as well.

* * *

"Do you think that wise?" Lee questioned bluntly as they began to walk, arm in arm, across the frozen grounds.

"What are you talking about?" Sakura looked up, bewildered.

"To visit him. He is only a palace guard, Haruno-sama - ,"

"He saved my life!"

"He is not worthy of your attentions merely because he has done his job," Lee said gently, despite the furrow of Sakura's brows as she glared at him, "Do you not think people will begin to talk?"

"Talk?" Sakura stopped them in their tracks, "Of what? Of my philanthropic behavior? Of how the Emperor's daughter visited a wounded soldier that saved her life?"

"It is inappropriate," Lee stated firmly, "Whatever friendship you have with the man is improper for that of a woman of your standing."

"And what will they say?" Sakura yanked her arm out of Lee's grasp, "Well?"

"They might think," Lee huffed, breath puffing in the space between them. He looked away quickly, uncomfortable under her relentless stare. He dropped his voice to a harsh whisper, "They might think it is something sordid."

Anxiety congealed in her throat, but she forced her eyes to stay on him.

"I will not deny him my gratitude because my people might think less of me for it," she said with a snarl, then took a breath to compose herself. Sakura began again, "He is a good man and a fine warrior; I will not let fear dictate who I see fit to socialize with. An accomplished leader does not bend to anyone's will."

She turned on her heel and took off haughtily down the trail to her rooms.

* * *

Kizashi awaited his daughter in the sitting room of her chambers, Mebuki close at his side. Kakashi stood at the front doors, feigning impaired hearing as they whispered acutely to each other.

"Why must you go so soon?"

"I can not waste any more time while they bide theirs for the next attack," Kizashi said quietly, "We must - ,"

The door opened and Sakura strode through in a fury, but stopped short when she her parents standing in the center of the room.

"Mother, Father, what are you - ,"

"Sakura, you can not run off like that," her mother chastised, "You must always stay with an escort."

"I was at the infirmary," she bristled, "Kakashi-san knew where I was."

"He must stay with you at all times," Kizashi said sharply.

"He is your guard, Father, not mine," she snapped, "Did you come only to remind me that I must be confined like a pet to a cage?"

"No!" Mebuki recoiled from Sakura's words.

"Sakura, please," Kizashi stepped forward and tucked her under his arm, "I know how restless you feel. This war is taxing on us all, but I swear to you, I am putting an end to it once and for all."

"How?" Sakura looked first to her father, then to her mother, but Mebuki looked away, tears ready to spill over her lids.

"I am leaving to recruit more troops. Gaara has agreed to help us fight the Akatsuki," Kizashi was beaming, a relieved smile on his face. Mebuki, however, kept her eyes to the window as she began to weep quietly. Sakura's chest constricted for her mother. She would miss her father, but she had seen before how taxing and difficult it had been on her mother whenever they had sustained his absence. It seemed that the burden of rule fell solely upon Mebuki, the balance of power becoming faulted.

"How long will you be gone?"

"I will return before the commencement of spring," he spoke as if he were making a promise not to her, but to himself; a reassurance that he could vanquish the evil that had risen in his lands.

"Spring is a long way from now," Sakura mumbled, leaning into Kizashi.

"The time will pass quickly," he squeezed her shoulder, "I will be back before you even notice I have gone."

"The time will pass quicker for you," Sakura griped; she was feeling particularly bitter at his departure that day.

"It will be no less painful," he amended, "But it must be done."

Kizashi held his hand out to Mebuki and she took it gratefully. He pulled them both close at his sides.

"My girls, I will miss you terribly," he kissed his wife's cheek and struggled to keep his composure. He had experienced a similar goodbye many years before, when Sakura was still only growing in Mebuki's belly. Kizashi had stood beside his caravan, preparing to embark on a diplomatic voyage. His son, barely thirteen at the time, had come to see him off. It had been a bittersweet goodbye. Eager as he was to see his son become the man he knew he could be, Kizashi was aware that every second away from him meant another chapter of his life missed, another opportunity to bond and teach his son passed up. Kizashi vowed to him that one day, when he was older, things would be different. He was sorry he was never able to make good on that promise.

* * *

"What is it?" Sasuke cut her off mid sentence, the question like an itch working its way up his throat. She looked up from her book, confusion altering to realization when she met his gaze.

"Sasuke-kun, I - ,"

"Why are you upset?"

"I do not wish to talk about it," Sakura shook her head and looked away.

"Why?" he sounded almost angry when he questioned her.

"Because I have said so," she snapped, pinning him with a sharp glare.

"And that is reason enough?" he scowled at her.

"It should be!" her voice crescendoed slightly before she caught herself and dropped her tone to a harsh whisper.

"Why do you hold your title above me now as though I am inferior?"

Sakura stiffened at his words, but kept a steady lock with his gaze.

"I am sorry," her voice was stern as she spoke, "I do not mean to, but perhaps it is because you have begun to treat me as your superior, as a stranger, rather than someone you have shared a bed with. I do not think so low of you, and you should know that, but if you desire to treat me as such then there is little I can do. I can continue to voice my feelings and have them so harshly rebuked or I can save my pride and attempt to find some other ground with you, though it may not be equal. In the meantime, I will continue to be miserable if I please, because you still deny me yourself, because you act as if nothing has happened between us, because Lee-san has begun to suspect something, and because I will be without my father's presence for months - ,"

Sasuke snatched her hand out of the air, weaving their fingers together, and cutting her short once more. Her mouth hung open, but she shook as she struggled to find the words. Then, her tears came, streaking down her cheeks as she sobbed quietly. Sakura let her head drop forward onto the bed to shield her crumbling visage, whereupon Sasuke moved his hand to stroke her back.

"You have my apologies," Sasuke said softly.

"I do not want them," she spat, "For then it seems as if you are in debt to me and I do not wish you to owe me a thing."

"But I do," he protested, "I owe you a great deal of honesty, something you have awarded me from the start."

At that, she fell silent, only the occasional hiccup of her breath disturbing them. His fingers moved up her spine, a tantalizing, slow sweep up to the nape of her neck where her hair sat in a low bun. A prickle of anticipation ran up her scalp, recalling the phantom sense of his touch, of the patterns he wove as he moved his fingers through her errant strands.

"I was always distraught whenever Itachi left the village," Sasuke spoke quietly, the recollection of such a memory causing an unpleasant coil of apprehension to wind in his stomach, "When he left for war, I was terrified I would never see him again."

"Only once have I ever feared that my father would not return," her voice cracked, "Now, I feel only a longing for his attendance and guidance if he travels."

"I felt that, too," Sasuke said gently, "My brother always seemed to me the voice of reason where my mother might have been too emotional or my father too cynical."

"How peculiar," Sakura looked up at him, eyes wet with fresh tears, "My father is the emotional one. My mother has always held more common sense, I think. She is the head on his shoulders and he is the heart."

"And which do you think is more important?"

"I might have once thought the heart, but I know now there is a balance achieved by both," she said pensively.

"What did Lee-san say to you?" Sasuke let silence settle between them for only a moment, until the question burned his tongue.

"He thinks I will instigate inappropriate rumors by visiting you," she rolled her eyes, then settled them back on Sasuke.

"He might be right."

"I know," she bit her lip and shook her head, "Perhaps that is why I became so angry with him. I feel guilty, but I was only trying to protect you."

"How thoughtful," Sasuke mused, his thumb brushing her cheek, "I am certain Lee-san was concerned only with your wellbeing."

"It does not change the fact that he was very rude about it."

"I would have been, too," Sasuke grimaced, "If the subject concerned you and another man."

She struggled to quell the warmth that burst like sunlight through her at his words. It was not fair, she thought, for him to say such things to her. It was not fair for him to touch her that way, so tender and true, like a gift bestowed upon her.

"I suppose I should apologize to him," she was unsure if she wanted to, but she thought, at that moment, that Sasuke might have been her voice of reason, despite his jealousy.

"Do you want to?"

"I do not do well with swallowing my pride," she frowned.

"I think humility becomes you," Sasuke smirked.

"Do you think everything becomes me?" she had meant it as a bout of sardonic humor, but Sasuke answered seriously,

"I do."

"Even jealousy?"

"Perhaps most especially," he shook his head flippantly, "But we have already agreed that I am selfish for taking pleasure in these things."

"I did not agree to anything," she said haughtily and laughed. Sasuke smirked.

"Of course, you are also incredibly gifted when it comes to breaking the rules."

"You are not a rule, Sasuke-kun," she said sternly.

"I am less than that," he spoke softly, "I am a bump along your path to the throne; you have not yet made it past me."

"And I do not wish to. I hope I am forever stalled at this bump, forever rendered inept by you."

She placed her hand on his chest, leaning forward so that there was hardly a space between them. He could feel his lips aching to touch hers, felt himself leaning toward her, but she slipped away, glancing his cheek with hers.

"You can continue to speak in such a way, you can continue to demean yourself if you like, but you will change nothing of how I feel for you."

Her skin was warm against his, filtering a sense of calm throughout his body and Sasuke's hand inched toward her waist, petting the fabric there lightly; he was fighting against an inferno of desire, a tempest of passion that urged him to give up and give in.

* * *

Sakura sat at her table by the window, quill in hand and a small well of ink beside her parchment. She found herself struggling with words that night, though it was customary for her to pen a letter to her father that he could carry with him while he traveled. But, for the life of her, she could not think what to write. What more could she say to him that she had not already expressed? She would miss him dearly and she would find comfort in the simple things in his absence, like perusing his office or reading over his notes until her eyes went cross.

At least she had Sasuke now, she thought, in some manor or form. Perhaps he could provide her company if she got terribly lonely. Or perhaps, she bristled, he might push her away again. The thought caused a pitiful ache in her heart and through her body. Did he not understand how deeply she felt for him? Her pen hovered above the blank page; had she not been clear enough?

* * *

"I would venture that my gratitude to you will extend past my physical life," Kizashi sat heavily beside Sasuke's gurney with a sigh, "And I am afraid I have one more favor to ask of you."

"You owe me nothing, Sir," Sasuke shook his head, keeping the Emperor's gaze with great difficulty. He found it a startling challenge to look Kizashi in the eye and attempt to justify his feelings for Sakura at the same time.

"Nonsense," Kizashi waved his hand, "I am a man of my word; you shall have your promotion upon my return."

"Your return?"

"I depart tomorrow morning for the Village of the Sand. I have been driven to a near point of desperation by these soldiers called the Akatsuki," the Emperor seethed, "Forgive me, but I have few men I can trust within my company. I daresay, if you were feeling better, I would have you join me. Then again, I doubt there is a man I trust more to watch over my daughter."

Sasuke felt himself go cold. No, he thought, not again.

"I am taking a large number of guards with me; I must show my people that I have not been weakened by these insidious attacks," his brows furrowed tight, forehead crinkling with stress, "But that leaves the palace vulnerable."

Sasuke fought the urge to flinch away from Kizashi; he knew the question he was about to be posed.

"I need somebody I can trust by her side at all times. Will you do me this service once more? Watch over her for me until I return and I promise you any position you desire. I will even send you to war as a general of my army," The Emperor implored him, but, even if he could not say no to a ruler like Kizashi, Sasuke could not refuse the joy that spread through him at the notion of his proposition. He chastised himself for the elation he felt, attempting to beat it down until he found some shred of revulsion or fear to propagate. But, the reality was that the Emperor would be gone for months - a journey to The Sand was a long one, spanning treacherous trails - and there would be very little to pull Sasuke and Sakura apart in that time.

"Of course, Sir," Sasuke answered and the Emperor exhaled in relief, as if he had expected a different response.

"Thank you, Uzumaki-san," he stood slowly, raising himself vertebrae by vertebrae, "I wish you a swift and easy recovery."

Sasuke opened his mouth as Kizashi turned away, ready to wish him the same for his voyage, but stopped short. He let the Emperor leave without uttering a word as the guilt reared within him, rendering him speechless.

* * *

"Do not take it so personally, Lee-san," Karin simpered, "She has not been herself lately. I am certain it is not _entirely_ about you."

"Oh, do not tease him so," Ino laughed, "The poor man has lost his love."

"I have not lost anything," Lee protested, "But I have made her upset and I do not know how to rectify that."

"Apologize," Tenten said simply, looking up from her scrolls as they sat about a table in Mebuki's sitting room early in the morning. Though the Emperor's wife was not present, the space had always been something of a public area that the courtiers used at convenience.

"It is not that simple," Hinata piped up, "Knowing Sakura-chan, an apology is not enough."

"She can be rather stuck up," Karin whispered and threw a look over her shoulder, although the room was mostly emptied.

"Do not say such a thing," Lee snapped, recoiling from her words.

"That is not what I meant," Hinata did her best to glare at Karin, but she could not hold it for long, "I simply meant that she will need to know that you are not only sorry, but that you understand what you did wrong."

"What is it you did wrong?" Karin asked, brows piqued in curiosity.

"I - I do not wish to say," Lee blushed furiously and looked away. Ino gasped and hid her shocked expression behind her hands.

"Did you kiss her?!"

"No!" Lee's face went red, balking at Ino's uncouth inquiry.

"Do you not want to?" Karin grinned maniacally.

"I shall not discuss such sordid details with you," he harrumphed, brows narrowed in a glare.

"Ever the gentleman," Ino smirked.

"Oh, leave him alone," Tenten scowled, "He will go about courting her as he desires, at his own pace."

Lee's gaze went around the table as each lady gave their perspective on the situation. He frowned and wondered if any of their conversation, or rather how much of it, would make its way back to Sakura. After all, gossip was practically a courtier's job.

* * *

"I found myself thinking of you late last night, as I do," she shook her head, avoiding his gaze. It was as if she were struggling against her own words.

"Me?"

She nodded.

"I suppose I was restless," she fumbled with the paper, stroking her thumb over its texture, "I find that penning my thoughts often helps when I get that way.

"What is it you write of?"

"It does depend what I am thinking of," she turned her eyes to the blank curtain, "Or who. I always write my father a letter to take with him when he travels, so that he knows I will miss him and will think of him everyday. I wrote a poem when one of my fish died, but it was not very good. I have written a lot, actually, nothing polished, only disorganized thoughts or notes, but I have never written a love letter. Is that not odd? Of all the declarations of ardor I have received, never once have I felt strongly enough to write a reply of affection."

"And have you written one now?" Sasuke's throat went dry.

"I was compelled to," she said, as if she needed to create an excuse for the action.

"What does it say?"

"It describes a feeling that I have never been able to articulate properly," still she could not look him in the eye, "It is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. It makes my knees weak and my heart quicken," she began to stumble, trembling in the wake of her thoughts, "But it is the most beautiful thing I have every experienced."

"Is it?" the words scratched the back of his throat, anticipation razing his nerves, but she did not answer.

"Here," she placed the parchment in the palm of his hand, gaze slipping to his where she saw a passion no longer dormant, "This is for you."

He closed his fingers around hers before she could pull away and drew her a breath apart. Sasuke claimed her lips with a burning kiss, the fire of his need scorching to life like a plain ravaged by a draught. Sakura wound her free hand around his neck as he lifted her as best he could onto the gurney beside him. His injured arm ached from the strain, but his demand to have her close weighed greater. She curled into his side, chest pressed against his and legs intertwining.

"Sasuke-kun," she pushed away from him gently, "Why?"

He stalled her, catching her lips again, but she broke away.

"Why are you doing this?"

"It is inevitable," he murmured, "I can not keep away from you."

"And yet you try," she whispered, breath stolen by his insistent lips.

"A wasted effort," he admitted. Sakura smiled and wrapped her fingers in his hair, tugging his mouth back down. They moved against each other, lips locked in an unbreakable coupling, eliminating any space between them and struggling against the ache that begged them to come closer.

* * *

A hidden smile and flushed cheeks accompanied Sakura as she entered her sitting room, but they were quickly stolen when she saw the Emperor sitting by her window, thoughtful visage lit by a single candle.

"Is everything all right, Father?"

"Sit," he gestured to the other chair, "Let us talk."

"Of course," she couldn't help the prickle of fear that began at the thought of what she had just done with Sasuke while she took her seat.

"You know I do not wish to leave you," relief washed through her, "It is only because I have to."

"I know," she said solemnly, "I am sorry I was so upset earlier."

"Is anything wrong?" for a moment, Sakura looked into his eyes and saw her own reflection. She saw herself, as a little girl, looking up at her father, flourishing from his guidance and counsel.

"No, it does not matter now," she shook her head, and grinned at him, "Will you bring me something from the Sand?"

"I could bring you a husband," Kizashi smiled with mirth, voice lilting to a teasing tone, "Gaara has taken his father's place and he will be needing a wife to rule at his side."

Sakura clicked her tongue and turned her head away.

"I would not survive in that place," she grumbled, "And I garner my aspirations are far more grand than his."

"Oh, do not be so harsh on the boy," Kizashi batted at her words, hand waving in the air, "There is nothing wrong with being content in your role in life."

"I suppose," Sakura chewed her lip; she did not wish to converse on the subject further.

"I know you will choose a husband when you are ready," Kizashi smiled and Sakura softened. She could never voice just how greatly she appreciated her father's support, but she wagered that he had a limit to her apathy and she was certain they were nearing that limit. It was only a matter of time, "Remember what I taught you?"

"An accomplished leader does not bend to anyone's will," she recited and he nodded proudly.

"Not even their own," he finished for her, standing to pat her shoulder as though she needed some consolation; it was a struggle not to cringe from those words and Kizashi left Sakura's room with them echoing in her ears. Sakura did not have a problem, she felt, standing her ground against others, but she knew she was willful. She knew she was impulsive when it came to her own desires. As a ruler, she would have to act for the benefit of her nation, stacking a person's life against that of the greater good. She stared out her window, lost in the blanketed world winding into a quiet calm and wondered:

What if that person was Sasuke?


	16. Chapter 16

**Oh my gosh, this was so brutal. I know you lovely people aren't my therapist but oh my god it's been crazy, plus I was on vacation and thought I would have time to write, but I really didn't have any time. But that's all fine, I finally got a breather so here we are! Also, just so we're clear, I fully intend on finishing this story, regardless of how far in between my updates are. If you ever feel like I'm MIA, I'm actually not, I greatly appreciate all of the reviews, they're so heartwarming and beautiful and I come back almost every day to read them. Thank you, Merci beaucoup and ENJOY!**

* * *

 _"I do not know what to do," Kushina said quietly, "This is the fifth time this month."_

 _Sasuke sat on the front porch of the Uzumaki's secluded cabin, hidden deep in the countryside at the foot of a mountain range. Beside him, Naruto was twirling a rock in his hand and babbling about the way it shined in the sunlight. But Sasuke's attention was drawn to the harsh whispers just on the other side of the front door._

 _"I know," Minato spoke softly, "Perhaps he should go with Naruto. They will keep each other safe."_

 _"We promised them - ,"_

 _"But things have changed! We are not living in the same world; no one is safe anymore," Minato snapped, finding that his patience had vanished as they came upon a familiar topic of recent days, "It is only a matter of time before we are forced into another hole to hide like rats!"_

 _Kushina gave a broken sigh and Sasuke heard her footsteps as she paced restlessly._

 _"The Emperor is our only ally now - ,"_

 _"And the Uchihas were his greatest enemy," she said sharply, "Greater than the Akatsuki have been. They may be attacking his lands, his people, but Itachi_ took _something from him that was irreplaceable. If you think he will have mercy on the brother of his son's killer, you are a fool!"_

 _"It is our only choice!" A deathly silence followed Minato's outburst, but he soon collected himself and continued on, "What would you have us do then?" his voice dropped low to a despondent whisper and his shoulders slumped, but he kept her in his gaze, "The Emperor will know him only as our second son; he will have safety in our name."_

 _"Itachi begged us to keep him away - ,"_

 _"Itachi is gone! Dead!" Minato growled, "And we are perhaps the better for it!"_

 _"Minato!" Kushina hushed him, "How can you say that? The Uchihas were our friends, they were your greatest allegiance to Konoha."_

 _"No," Minato shook his head, "The Emperor was, and he has been incredibly gracious to offer our son such an opportunity. The Uchihas may have been our friends, but Itachi forsook his clan, he destroyed every loyalty they ever built. That is not Sasuke's responsibility, and perhaps with time he may come to understand that. He may even come to understand what his brother has done, but for now, he will thrive better in anonymity."_

 _"Minato, I - ," Kushina shook her head as she struggled for words._

 _"I am trying to keep us out of harm's way," he took a heavy step toward her, encircling her in his arms, "Naruto will be under the watchful eye of the Emperor; you and I will disappear. We cannot continue to live this way, in limbo, surviving day to day and never looking to the future, never knowing if each hour will be our last."_

 _A thickening silence grew and Sasuke pressed closer to the door to hear them._

 _"I am sick to death of these wars," Kushina said sharply, "It is not fair to our children. They are born into it, trained for it, and if they do not die in that war, then they will live long enough to see another started," she fought to keep her composure as a powerful rage shook her. Minato tucked her head beneath his chin and wound his fingers tighter at her shoulders, "I thought we might finally see an era of peace after you were appointed, but I had underestimated the cruelty of this world and the vicious nature of the people within it - ,"_

 _"Sasuke," Naruto said sternly, pulling him back from the door, "It is not kind to eavesdrop."_

 _"They were talking about us," Sasuke protested._

 _"That is not our business," Naruto chastised him, causing Sasuke to scowl._

 _"They were talking about my brother," he snarled and stood, "That_ is _my business."_

 _Naruto frowned and watched his friend with a tentative gaze. He recalled when they had played together as kids, when they had accidentally destroyed Mikoto's tomato garden and also when they had discovered Fugaku's weaponry cabinet. The two had been known for their mischievous behavior and inseparable ties amongst their villages, but things were different now. While Naruto found himself still clinging to those memories that shimmered like the brilliant stone in his hand, Sasuke seemed all too eager to leave them behind, most especially with the approach of his twelfth birthday. He had grown restless and increasingly solitary the older he became. With each day that progressed, Sasuke seemed to grasp the fissures of his past with more and more clarity, and it only appeared to further his isolation._

 _Sasuke turned away from Naruto as the silence became unbearable for him. He started down the porch and rounded the edge of the house; Naruto did not stop him._

* * *

Sakura owned only one black Junihitöe, reserved for the most rare of occasions like a death or, in the case of that day, when her father left on one of his journeys. Despite its layers, it was a very plain silk, made up of no discernible patterns, that dragged like an ominous shadow behind her. The long sleeves billowed with the wind, but Sakura braced herself like a mountain against it. She stood beside her mother in the snow at the gates to the palace, waving somberly as her father's convoy pulled away. She remembered how she would run after the carriage when she was little, right up to the edge of the trees, which happened to be the spot her mother would always catch up to her. For a moment, Sakura felt her heart leap, urging her to run after her father, just as she used to, but Mebuki was clinging to Sakura like an anchor and, as the Empress drew herself up, her chest swelled with the responsibility she now assumed.

"I had thought," Mebuki's voice wavered and she cleared her throat softly, tearing her gaze away from her husband's retreating fleet, "Perhaps it might be nice to enjoy a quiet dinner, just the two of us, tonight."

"That sounds lovely," Sakura smiled up at her mother and nodded, "I look forward to it."

"Wonderful," Mebuki kissed her daughter on the cheek and followed her husband's advisors to his sitting room. Rather than see her mother go, Sakura turned back to the gate, watching as it shut with a loud clang. Though the wind raged on, she continued to brace herself against it, enraptured by the ghost of her memories and the sorrow she felt gradually creeping in.

* * *

Sasuke watched the sky from the window nearest him as the day pressed on and realized, to his ardent dismay, that Sakura was not coming. He knew she would be occupied in the morning, seeing her father off, yet, even as the time to lunch came and went, he found himself still hoping. Perhaps he would see her, he thought, just outside through the glass, walking around her garden. Perhaps he would catch her, when she was smiling at something a courtier said. Just a glimpse - and then he realized he was more than thinking or hoping, he was praying for it. He needed it, just one moment with her.

But he knew, even that would never be enough. Frustrated, at himself, at his desires, and at her incessant hold on him, he shut his eyes, willing sleep to claim him.

* * *

Sakura wept quietly as she watched the fire, ceasing to clear away her tears. It was pointless to try. She and her father shared a great bond; she had always felt his absence quite heavily. Sakura rested her cheek against the warm hearthstone, heedless of the ash that might lose itself against the void of her black dress or muddle her fair complexion. Surrounding her crumpled frame were a myriad of books and journals, material things that could only occupy her thoughts temporarily. She had given up attempting to distract herself from the melancholy that polluted her mind. So, she watched the flames dance, twisting about one another, devouring each other with every sharp crackle.

How pitiful, she thought, to be so consumed by grief that she could only lay immobile on the floor. If Sasuke could see her, what would his impression be? Though she did not think him capable of humiliating her, she still felt a wave of shame wash over her at the state she was in. She could not allow herself to continue like that; it was improper for a woman of her stature.

Sakura shot to her feet, dusting off her gown and rubbing at the dirt on her cheek. With a sense of determination, she gathered her skirts and took off for the infirmary.

* * *

He was sleeping somewhat peacefully atop the sheets when she entered. They had taken the time to redress him in a cotton shirt and drawstring pants that Sakura could not help finding odd on him. To see him in anything other than his uniform was jarring - well, perhaps, she thought, not _anything_. She pulled the curtain closed and heard him stir at the sound of its rungs scraping against the steel overhang.

Sakura went to the side of his bed and seated herself as his lids blinked open. She laid her hands upon her lap and offered him a small smile.

"Good evening," she spoke softly.

"Is it evening?" Sasuke rubbed his eyes with his good hand and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It is past twilight," she murmured and watched as his gaze finally settled on her. She caught his eyes widening ever so slightly as he took in her morose attire; she had not given herself the foresight to change. His orbs traced the dried tears that tracked over her cheeks.

"Do you not have a curfew?" his lips twitched as though the words uttered seemed not to be the ones he had meant to speak.

"You of all people should know I almost never do as I am told," her mouth quirked upwards. Sasuke shook his head, struggling with himself for a moment before reaching for her.

"I do not think I have ever seen you so solemn," his hand settled over hers, encasing her fingers that gripped the silk of her gown as though she meant the fabric harm.

"No?" she sighed and released her dress, turning her palm up to meet his, " _Do_ you see it? How it hangs over me like a cloud? I fear my condition will only worsen; it always does."

Her eyes shimmered softly as she swallowed and he knew she had contained a sob. Sakura cursed herself silently; she had come here to distract herself, not to recount her sorrows.

"Will you walk with me?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," she stood quickly, eager to be free of her own captivity, "Down the hall, yes?"

"No, outside," he nodded his head in the direction of the window hidden behind the curtain, "In your garden."

"You are not well enough for that," she clucked her tongue, but proceeded to help him sit up. He was silent as he swung his feet over the edge. She took his arm around her shoulders and, gingerly, he placed his weight on his feet. It was getting easier, he realized, but there was still the gnawing pain of battered muscles and limbs that plagued him. He slipped away from her, limping around to the other side of the gurney, and she hissed at him, "Sasuke-kun, let me help you."

He sat back on the bed and leaned over with a wince as he grappled for his boots with one arm, his other still in its sling, shaking his head at her all the while. He gave no care to lace the shoes, simply shoving his foot forward and coming to stand once more. When he turned to face her, he saw her hands stretched out towards him in anticipation. Her gaze wavered from his eyes to his feet as though she expected him to fall at any moment. Instead, he stepped forward and peeled back the thick curtain.

"Will you walk with me?" he asked again, "Outside."

She huffed and bit her lip to silence her smile. She stuck her chin up as she glared at him. Just beyond the threshold of the curtain, the hospital operated as if it never slept - recently it had not had the luxury - and so no one paid them any mind.

"If you insist," she gathered her skirt and walked forward, paving the path to the doors. Sasuke followed, watching her back and catching the way her concern betrayed her pride as she cast her eyes back every so often, ensuring he still stood tall. With the nurses continuing to bustle back and forth, attending to the weary, they were able to slip out without so much as a word. And as they stepped outside onto the snowy scape, the world around them quieted. The sun had already dipped below the mountain range and so they were bathed in darkness with only the moon to light them as it weaved in and out of the cloud's coverage. The wind stirred the snow at their feet and ruffled the edges of Sakura's skirt, but she seemed not to mind as she was transfixed by her frozen land.

"You have said you do not fare well in winter, but the cold does not seem to bother you," he had not taken his eyes off her as he extended his right arm. Her gaze dropped to his offering and she slid her hand into the crook of his elbow. The garden slept around them, not a soul in sight to witness their exchange. Without the Emperor's presence, the palace seemed far more deserted than usual.

"Perhaps it is because you are here," she mused softly as they began to walk at a measured pace, "To keep me warm, to entertain me and exercise my restless spirit."

"Is that all I am good for?" He hid his smirk, but she caught on quickly.

"You do have other purposes," she produced a cheshire grin as they came upon the icy lake. Though he found those urges for her never dormant, he felt them spring to life with new force as she called up all too familiar memories and his resistance was waining, though he knew it had never been particularly resilient in the first place. He thought she might goad him further, but instead, she spoke somberly, "I will admit, though, I get anxious the closer it comes to my birthday."

"Anxious?"

"Another year gone," she spoke plainly, a tired monotony claiming her voice, "Another year wasted behind gallery walls."

Sasuke felt the silence lay heavy and thick between them; he pulled her closer to his side.

"Have you ever thought of running away?" he had meant it as a joke, but Sakura did not laugh.

"I tried to, when I was younger. I did not get very far," she fixed him with her bright eyes, concealing something in her gaze.

"What possessed you?" he wondered aloud, shocked by her confession.

"I became betrothed," she said somberly.

An audible choke came from Sasuke and Sakura burst into a fit of laughter.

"I am only kidding," she giggled at the relief that flitted over his face for the briefest second, before he caught himself, "You should have seen your expression."

"I doubt very much that I would want to," he scowled at her, "Do you laugh at me?"

"No," she stifled herself and slowed their pace, "I only think it amusing that you are so composed most days and yet you seem to struggle around me."

"So you are laughing at my expense?" he smirked, but looked away from her piercing eyes.

"Only a little," she stopped them by the bench that sat beside their willow tree and looked up at him. Silently, she compelled his eyes toward her, "I have never tried to run away. I do not think I have ever sincerely felt the need to. And, truthfully, I do not know what I would do if I did."

Sasuke remained silent, only listening and thinking; he could conjure a million things to do if he only stepped outside of the palace's walls, though he knew them all to involve a life of solitude.

"But now I have had my fun," Sakura said with a hint of glee to her voice, "Tell me, Sasuke-kun, how are you faring this winter?"

He grappled for an answer, but felt the words barrel past his lips before he could stall them.

"Not well."

"Why is that?" Sakura took his hand in hers, worry furrowing her brows, and led him beneath the frozen branches of the willow tree that swung softly with the quieting breeze. His heart raced as his mind called up the sordid memories of what once passed between them in that very spot.

"I face trials I never thought I might encounter," he spoke slowly, as if he could not comprehend what he was saying.

"Trials?" her brows furrowed in unbidden concern. Then, realization donned on her and she pulled away from him, "I suppose I am the cause, is that correct?"

"Almost entirely," he answered, the admission passing without judgement through his lips, "And yet, I do not think I would want it any other way. I have never felt so conflicted in my life," he frowned, words stinging his tongue as he spoke them, "Am I meant to feel this way for you if I am who I am? As a lowly soldier? As an Uchiha? Am I allowed to look upon you the way I do without consequence? Knowing who my brother is, are you allowed to feel such things for me?"

"I - I do not know. I know only that I want to continue to feel this way, forever, for always," she sighed and bit her lip, then asked softly, in awe of his turmoil, "Why do you not voice these questions to me? Why do you insist on suffering alone, in silence?"

"I have never known anything else. If I do not - ," his jaw went slack as he became lost in his own mind.

"If you do not?" she prompted, fingers clutching the hem of her sleeves, "What will happen then?"

"Then I may lose all self-control," he swallowed harshly, hesitating as he inched towards her, "And that is all I possess now."

"And if you lose control?" she pressed, stepping so that she stood before him and allowing her hands to rest on his chest, "What would happen then?"

His fist clenched, jaw tightening as he struggled to look away, but her gaze was too powerful; orbs of such a vibrant green that rivaled the essence of spring, hypnotic in their hold on him.

She was breathless as she asked, "Would you kiss me?"

His eyes fell to her lips, plump and rosy, as they parted for him. She looked voracious, as though she could devour him right there, and it caused a scorching blaze to rise within him, laying waste to his heart.

Then, her voice came softer than the snow that fell around them,

"Would you hold me?"

Sasuke's good hand shot up, winding around her fingers, nearly crushing them against his chest. He leaned forward, inhaling her intoxicating scent as his nose skimmed the line of her neck. His lips brushed her jaw as they trailed up to her ear and she shivered at the touch. Sakura suppressed a moan as her mind recalled how soft and urgent his mouth could feel on her. She felt his teeth tug at her flesh, a harsh nip, then the heat of his sharp breath fanned over her lobe and he whispered darkly,

"I would _ravage_ you."

If he had not had such a tight hold on her, Sakura knew she would have dropped to her knees in the snow, weakened by the heady desire in his voice. His words echoed like a tune she could not shake, crescendoing to a pyre of pure, poignant need that razed her body.

"Would that be so bad?" the inquiry cracked as it slipped out of her lips, "To feel your touch, wholly, with immeasurable conviction - to know those moments so intimate and beautiful that even the greatest writers fail to capture their quintessence, to know those with you - Sasuke-kun, I - ," Sakura trailed off, head tilting against his. She ripped one of her hands free to twist her fingers in his hair, nails gripping to a point of pain, but he did not complain. She shut her eyes tight, brows scrunching in frustration, confusion, contention, and sighed heavily.

"Would it be so terrible to know what it is like to be wanted so completely?" she asked humbly.

He did not want to pretend in that moment, he did not want to play games with her and counter her inquiry with one of his own. He did not want to imply that she was naive if she thought she was not wanted, because he knew that was not what she meant. Lee wanted her, courtiers wanted her, men across the land wanted her, but Sasuke wanted her, too, and that was something else entirely; it was a passion that could never be rivaled. A growl rumbled in his chest as he clutched her ever closer,

"It must be," his lips caressed her neck before he pulled back, her fingers loosening from his hair. His hand released hers slowly, letting it fall back at her side. Sasuke appeared as though nothing had just transpired between them, only the depth in his eyes and frailty of his voice betraying him. He was hoarse as he spoke forlornly, "If it wasn't, then it would not feel so good."

Sakura watched him with barely concealed longing. She watched the way he bowed his head in shame and the way his chest swelled with each deep, shuddering breath. Then, he started to turn away, hand stretching out for the branches of the willow tree.

"Do you know I have dreamt of it?" she asked suddenly.

"Dreamt of what?"

"Of you ravaging me," she said hastily, as if it were a sin to keep those words to herself. He stilled, "Every night, Sasuke-kun. Every endless, damned night you are always there."

"I know," he agreed, but closed his eyes as if he could shut her out of his senses.

"Every night I hope you will be there," her voice wavered with the honesty of her words.

"I am sorry I have disappointed you."

"No," she shook her head and reached for his back, smoothing her hand up the length of his spine, "I am not disappointed, only lonely. Now, more than ever, I need you."

"Please," Sasuke whispered, muscles tensing to coil, and Sakura pulled her hand back, "You must not allow me such hope."

"If I am not able to give you anything else, then I wish you to have that," she spoke stubbornly. Sasuke turned, regarding her briefly, and extended his arm.

"Come, I will escort you back to your rooms."

Without hesitation, she took his hand, but the walk back was paved with trepidation and silence.

* * *

"Are you all right, dear?" Mebuki's knife scraped unpleasantly against her plate and on any other night it might not have bothered Sakura so much, but the discordant sound caused her to drop her silverware with a huff and close her eyes.

"Not entirely," she said quietly, lids fluttering back open only to stare at her half-eaten meal.

"You have always taken it so hard when he leaves," Mebuki said forlornly, reaching across the table to squeeze Sakura's hand, "Perhaps it would do you some good to be in better company."

"Better company?" Sakura laughed, putting a finger to her temple, "You belittle yourself, Mother."

"No, no," the Empress shook her head, "Not me. I am talking about your visits to the infirmary."

Sakura stiffened in her chair, gaze shooting to her mother's.

"It is a dismal place, don't you think?" Mebuki asked innocuously, "Your time would be better spent around your friends, wouldn't you agree?"

"I suppose," Sakura's throat felt thick, guilt congealing in her blood, "But I do find it fascinating, you know, to be in such an environment."

Her mother shrugged and waved her hand as though she could brush away Sakura's statement.

"Lee-San was asking for you today," Mebuki said, diverting the conversation.

"It seems he is always asking for me these days."

"He has always held a genuine concern for you," Mebuki beamed, "Such a lovely gentleman he has grown into."

"I suppose," Sakura mused, eyes straying to the window beside them, though she could not see much in the dark night.

"You suppose? Don't you fancy him? Even a little?"

"Oh, Mother," Sakura shook her head and placed her palms on her cheeks. She sighed heavily, "I do not know. He is very sweet, but I just think - Well, would it not be more exciting to experience a more passionate romance?"

"Passionate? Are his letters not enough?" Mebuki quirked a brow, "Did you know your father wrote me every day for two years while he was at war? He had enough passion to fill a chest in my bedroom."

"But it was made more special because of the distance, yes?"

"If you asked Lee-san to go to war for you, I am very certain he would acquiesce."

"I would not ask that of anyone," Sakura tutted, "But the very fact that he would comply is precisely my point. I do not want a man who will cross oceans for me because I say so, I want a man who will cross oceans for me because he wants to and because he knows that I would do the same for him."

"Such a fierce proclamation from a woman barely courted," Mebuki teased with a smile.

"Perhaps it is my lack of experience all these years that has allowed me to mold my desires so acutely," Sakura countered.

"Well said," Mebuki took up her glass, raising it to Sakura in commendation, "In these moments, I am reminded how much of your father's daughter you truly are."

Sakura smiled, breaking through a contemplative frown and said,

"But thankfully, I inherited your sense of humor."

Mebuki laughed with her daughter, relishing in their shared loneliness and the unearthing of a long since unvisited bond that still tethered them through the years.

* * *

Sasuke turned the key in his palm, running his thumb over the notches and cuts. It was all at once a delicate symbol of trust and a fierce forging of loyalty; something that he hoped he would be the only one to possess. His eyes raked over the key gratuitously until the nurse reentered, and Sasuke closed his fist tightly, the teeth of the metal digging into his flesh.

"It would be my recommendation that you stay a few more nights, but I understand you must be tiring of this scenery," she said in a banal tone, looking up from the sheets of paperwork in her hand, "If you would like to leave, you may. I just ask that you visit us daily and that the sling stays on until we say so."

"Thank you," Sasuke nodded and heaved himself up from the bed as she left. He dressed himself quietly, slipping the key into his pocket, anticipation pooling in his stomach for what he was about to do. And when he stepped outside he found the biting cold did nothing for the heat boiling under his skin. He trudged the familiar path to Sakura's rooms and halted before her doors. He knew a guard stood attentive in her sitting area and so he rapped his knuckles against the wood and waited. He saw the trepidation of the door and the man behind it, for who could be knocking at such a late hour?

"Uzumaki-san?"

"I am to take over your shift," Sasuke assumed all the authority he could in his voice, "The Emperor has requested it personally."

"Oh, I was not aware," the guard pulled the door open fully and stepped aside to let Sasuke in. When he walked into the light, the man's eyes fell to Sasuke's arm still in its bandaging. Sasuke fidgeted and straightened his stance; too many days spent in the hospital had caused him to slouch, "Have you recovered well?"

"Well enough," Sasuke's tone was clipped. He was far too anxious to put on pretenses and niceties.

"Should I stand watch outside?"

"No, you may go," Sasuke said, somewhat forcefully. The soldier nodded and took his leave. There were benefits, he thought, to carrying the title of Uzumaki. His surname had purported a hierarchy with his fellow guards and Naruto's position as a general had certainly garnered an amount of respect he had never known before.

Sasuke shut the doors behind him and turned the locks. He walked to the other end of the room and hesitated as he came upon the entry to her chambers. He fished the key out of his pocket and held it to the keyhole, but was rendered immobile. His heart hammered in his chest and a sickening mixture of fear and desire brewed in his stomach. He bowed his head against the door, his breath labored, and heard the faintest sounds coming from her room. Was she crying? He knew she had been earlier, and the thought was enough to spur him to action. He pushed the key forward and turned it sharply, yanking the door open.

For only a brief moment he saw her splayed across the bed, limbs shaking as her fingers dipped to that most sacred place between her thighs and saw her lips parted as they moaned his name, then she was scrambling for the sheets to cover herself. He wished he could rip the sheet away and leave her bare to his ravenous eyes.

"You call for me," a sense of marvel had wound itself about his words.

Sakura tried to steady the beat of her heart and the rapidity of her breath as she nodded.

"Every night," she admitted softly, a timid smile brightening her features.

"My apologies," a slight smirk turned up the corners of his lips, "I think I have been out of earshot for some time."

Sakura's smile faltered; she attempted to think of some witty remark to continue their repertoire, but she fell short, shaking her head. He inched forward slowly, coming to sit beside her on the bed. She reached out to touch him, following the stubble along the sharp line of his jaw and he closed his eyes, seeming to bask in her touch as he angled his chin toward her.

"You came," was all that made it past the thickness in her throat; she had never known elation to be such a heavy burden. He nodded, but did not mention to her that no one could have stopped him. Sasuke brought his hand to her neck and pulled her forward, taking her lips with his. She was careful not to lean her weight into him too much as she maneuvered herself closer on the bed. With his arm still in its sling, it prevented him from indulging in his desire completely, "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Yes," his thumb stroked her cheek; how could he deny her when she looked at him in such a way? Her half-lidded eyes were trained to him, fearful that she might miss something if she dared to look away. Her smile was gone, but only so that her lips could part and lay in wait for his. Her bare chest swelled with deep, anticipating breaths. She was waiting and wanting, caught in the clutches of her desire, but bound by apprehension.

Sasuke kicked off his boots and pulled his legs up onto the bed. She took hold of his shirt, unbuttoning it carefully and slipping his good arm out of the sleeve. She tossed it aside and he seemed to have no care until her hand fell to the zipper of his pants. He caught her wrist, a sharp intake of breath through his teeth.

"I cannot," he did not want to add the word, though he certainly thought it, 'yet.'

"Then we will not," she answered simply and smirked, "I promise you will not have to fend me off in the middle of the night."

"You think my willpower to be stronger than it truly is."

"I know it," she said softly, slipping out of his grasp to lay back on her bed. He leveraged his weight on his good arm and did the same, moving beside her, "I know you are strong. If you were not, you would not have come tonight."

"I could think of no reason not to."

Sakura beamed, her hand coming to caress his cheek. He leaned in to kiss her, winding his arm about her waist to pull her flush against him. Despite the ache she had aroused in his trousers, he felt contentment seeping in at the proximity of her body to his. With lips fused, they coaxed desire from one another, pushing and pulling, allowing it to ebb and flow between them. And as her fingers intertwined at the base of his neck, they fell into a languid, blissful state all their own.


	17. Chapter 17

**Blaming this one solely on my boyfriend who wouldn't shut the F up while I was trying to finish this chapter.**

* * *

"Are you not tired?" Sasuke's fingers swept along an endless path from the lobe of her ear to the slope of her shoulder while his gaze remained trained on the door across the room.

"I have become accustomed to restless nights," Sakura murmured against his chest, her fist curling over his sternum, "As of late. I wish you were the only one haunting my dreams."

Sasuke's ministrations halted and she felt his grip tighten as his hand slid down her arm.

"They will not harm you," his words came with a deadly stealth, but Sakura shook her head.

"They already have. They have claimed my sanity, my resolve. These men," Sakura spat, "These soldiers of the Akatsuki, I despise them for having such power over me."

"You must not allow them to keep that power," he said firmly.

"How can I not?" she asked incredulously, "When I have no solace to call my own, when I have no means to defend myself - How am I to fight these men if I have not the tools?"

Sasuke bristled and met her wide, probing eyes.

"You _want_ to fight them?"

"Should I not?" Sakura shot up sharply, peering down at him, her hand still clinging to his chest, "These are _my_ lands that they ravage, _my_ people that they kill. If that does not make it my fight - "

"Even if it does, battles are often not waged by those who ignite these quarrels."

"You think my family responsible for this war?"

"No," Sasuke shook his head solemnly, close to biting his tongue, though he found that difficult to do around her, "But they had a hand in it, yes."

Silence fell where Sasuke had expected Sakura's protest. She pulled away from him, retreating into herself.

"So I am to remain idle? As I have the entirety of my life?"

"Not idle," he assured her, "But as a pillar of strength for your people."

"A pillar," Sakura scoffed, "An object to be marveled at, and yet the foundation it was built on is often forgotten," her resolve strengthened, "These people are my foundation, my father is my pillar, but I will not be a silent ruler. I am borne of their strength," she breathed deeply, nostrils flaring, "And their strength is what I will carry to _my_ battle."

Sakura watched the shift in Sasuke's features. A story played out, led by his admiration for her, which was promptly followed by his fear, his anger, his apprehension, perhaps not for her, but it still elicited defiance within.

"Do you think it is not my place to speak of such things?" Sakura questioned, "Do you think me naive? That I might romanticize war?"

Sasuke swallowed harshly and struggled to push himself up so that he might meet her level gaze.

"Perhaps," he did not wish to offend her and he thought her naive on the subject only because she was raised in such a way, "But it is not your fault."

"You might be right. There is only so much one can learn from literature," she sighed heavily and looked away from him, "It is one thing to know of something, but to experience it - "

"Why would you want to experience war?" Sasuke fought to understand her reasoning.

"I suppose in some macabre manner, it is because I am bored," her chin tilted down, hiding her eyes from him, "I wish to understand things other than this life."

"Death is not a thing to wish for."

"And yet you, as a soldier, deal in it so impertinently."

"Perhaps I have become accustomed to it," Sasuke reached for her hand; she squeezed his tightly.

"Does it not haunt you?"

"I am haunted by things worse than death."

"Like me?" Sakura asked lightly.

"Precisely."

"Is that true?" She turned to him in disbelief.

"I am haunted by things I can not have," the marvel in her eyes was not lost to him.

"But that would mean you want me," Sakura teased, running her fingers over the palm of his hand.

"Is that difficult to fathom?"

"Yes," Sakura admitted, "At least, until you come back to me."

"I suppose I have developed a habit of chasing you," he smirked.

"I do not mind it," she giggled as his hand moved up her arm. He followed the slope of her shoulder to the nape of her neck to pull her into a kiss, but she stalled him, "What else do you wish for that you can not have?"

Sasuke sighed, his breath fanning over her lips. He pulled back to meet her gaze, but he shook his head, the words lost to him.

"Please," Sakura murmured, "There are many things I still wish to know about you and often times I do not know where to start. I must take my chances when I can," she pondered for a moment, then, through his silence, she continued, "Sasuke-kun, if there is anything worse to hear than your name, I should like to hear it now."

"Before what?" he mused.

"Before I fall any more in love with you," she stated without any frivolity or pomp about it. He admired her a long moment before he spoke.

"I suppose that would be the kind thing to do," Sasuke smirked; kindness was never something he had likened himself to.

"Do you think yourself capable of that?" she finally teased. He chuckled and it caused a smile to spread over her face, but as his thoughts caught up with him, along with the weight of her questions, he quickly grew somber.

"Sakura, there is not one thing in my life that I have wanted that has not been taken from me. Nothing has turned out like I imagined it would when I was a child," he lost her gaze as he bowed his head, "Itachi, my parents, they painted a very different picture of my life before everything happened. They told me I was destined," he huffed, "For great things. I would venture that is what most parents tell their children, but I truly believed it. And when Itachi left - nothing was the same after that."

"When did you meet Naruto?"

"I had always known him, and his family. Itachi had arranged for me to leave with Naruto and his parents, but we could only hide out for so long. I do not know where they are now," Sasuke shrugged, but the expression on his face suggested he was not as flippant as his gesture, "Of all the things that could have happened to him, I am grateful that Naruto is only at war."

Sakura did not press him when he fell silent, rather she took up his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. For the first time in her life, she was beginning to comprehend a loneliness that she herself had never felt before. It was different from what she knew, from what was familiar. In her loneliness of misconception, she was comforted by the environment around her. The palace grounds were hers to do as she pleased, the garden was an extension of herself, and it dawned on her then that she was more disturbed by the Akatsuki attack for how they had robbed her of that possession. It was not her life she feared for, but instead her repose.

She thought she had understood Sasuke's loneliness, but it was a different matter entirely. It was as though someone had set a candle before her, a small, flickering flame to light the darkness. But that same person had forbade her from reaching it; all she could do was watch as the flame trembled and slowly died.

* * *

The Empress shook as she held the letter in a tight grip. Littered on her husband's desk were identical parchments with similar words that all promised the same threat. The Hokage's seal was broken on each one. She stood abruptly, the gilded throne scraping against the stone floor as she pushed away from her husband's desk. She tore at the parchment with harried fingers as she marched over to the fire whereupon she tossed every scrap into the embers. Mebuki watched the paper curl, writhing as if in pain. The words written upon them were so vile she wished briefly that she could cause them pain in turn. She huffed, what an irrational thought. As the letters blackened and turned to ash, she did not move, rivaling the flames before her with the rage that stirred within her. She could not distinguish who she was more upset with; the Hokage for making such an odious request, or her husband for not telling her of the man's intent.

* * *

That morning, as the light crept through her curtains, filtering through every slit it could find, Sasuke decided he despised the sun. If there ever was an enemy, it would be that immortal illumination that came with every new day, shooing away the darkness that coveted his time with Sakura.

Nonetheless, he slipped away from her and took up his shirt. He struggled to slip it on and the rustling caused Sakura to stir.

"Must you leave already?" she rubbed her tired eyes and crawled over to him, the sheet falling from her still naked form.

"I am expected at the infirmary," he paused his movements to peer at her as she pulled herself up to sit, "If you are attempting to persuade me to stay - "

"I would not stoop to such tactics," she feigned offense and tossed her hair over her shoulder to expose more of her pale skin, "How dare you accuse me!"

"It is either that or you truly have no modesty."

"Not where you are concerned," she admitted with a sly smile and moved to stand before him, assisting with his shirt, "Will you be at the infirmary all day?"

"I do not know," he answered, as Sakura finished pulling his arms through his shirt, "I was released only on the condition that I return for a daily check up."

"May I - ," Sakura huffed as Sasuke began buttoning his shirt, "Well I would like to see you again today."

"Is that so?" Sasuke attempted to hide his smirk; for once he was playing coy.

"It is," she grinned, "And I dare say, as your superior, I command you to visit with me once more today. At least."

"My superior," Sasuke mused and paused his fumbling fingers; he could not wait to be rid of the sling. His good hand rose to her cheek. He thumbed her jawline before dropping to the delicate slope of her neck. His hand tensed against her, but she could sense his restraint without the flex of his knuckles. She sighed heavily and leaned closer to him. She watched his gaze drop to her lips, irises darkened to near black by his primal need, "Very well, Sakura."

He resumed buttoning his shirt and stood, peering down at her with carelessly concealed lust.

"I will be back tonight, but I do not think it wise for you to visit me at the infirmary," he grimaced as her face fell, but before he could say anything she spoke up.

"I understand, Sasuke-kun," she stood from the bed and walked up to him, placing her hands on his chest, "Until tonight, then."

"Until tonight," his good hand came up to squeeze hers and she smiled.

* * *

"We're not far now," Deidara stoked the fire as he spoke. The men around him were quiet, merely staring into the flames, losing themselves within the light. They were famished, restless, and exhausted. While the promises of glory, of becoming heroes when they returned home, were becoming less of the pipe dreams they once were and more of the tangible future that lay before them, it was the scarcity of food in the winter that was beginning to make them certain they would never see that future. It was only the fear of disloyalty that kept them on their path.

* * *

"I was not expecting you to come for your check up," Kusako smiled as she redressed the bandage on his leg.

"Why?"

"Most of your kind," she huffed and wound the gauze tightly around his thigh, "Soldiers I mean, usually hold too much pride to come seeking help."

"This is necessary," Sasuke shrugged as Kusako tied the bindings and rose to her feet. She unhooked the sling holding his arm and set it aside. Slowly and with great care, she straightened his elbow, keeping a firm grip on his forearm.

"The Emperor's daughter once said the very same thing to me," she chuckled. Sasuke smirked, he supposed that didn't surprise him. "Even still she carries the same independence."

Sasuke couldn't agree more, given that she rarely did as she was told. Kusako bent his arm at the elbow slowly and Sasuke winced, but she did not apologize, only repeated the motion until the pain began to dull.

* * *

Sakura meandered through her father's halls, admiring the tapestries that hung from the walls. She hadn't visited the gallery in quite some time. There was rarely a soul within that part of the grounds during the winter, as that building seemed to keep the cold air much more than any other.

As a child, Sakura greatly enjoyed exploring the many rooms with her father, as he retold the valiant tales depicted in silk and cotton fibers. When she often wandered away, without fail her father would be able to find her seated beneath her favorite tapestry; the image of a man, her brother, seated atop his horse, sword in hand, as he rode into battle. The embodiment of a knight, a man of honor, and on a gilded mantle beside the artwork held his very same sword alongside its sheath. It was the only thing of her brother's that still remained in that palace.

Before the war those grounds had been their home most winters; as many royal families did, they moved with the seasons. But the last palace her brother had called home rested beyond their reaches now, overtaken by the Akatsuki, and so the remainder of his belongings were lost to them, forever.

Sakura touched the hilt, her fingers skimming over the gold that twisted like a ribbon around it. She followed the hilt to the blade that sloped on either side and curved to the sharpened tip. The steel was as clear as any mirror and her father had often encouraged her to look into it just the same. He had told her that her brother's spirit resided in that sword and if she stared at the blade long enough, she would be able to see his reflection. She had never been sure when she was younger if she ever had seen him. But as she did so this time, she was certain all she could see was her own green orbs staring back at her.

There was confusion and naivety within them, as well as a fragility that unsettled her like nothing ever had before. It irked her terribly, and she desired to do something about it.

* * *

The barracks were remarkably empty when Sasuke arrived, but then again, the majority of his fellow soldiers were accompanying the Emperor on his journey. And without Kakashi to lead them at the palace, many seemed to default to watching over the Emperor's wife, while the rest remained in the infirmary.

It seemed as though the courtiers outnumbered the guards, something that would have previously been a problem for Sasuke. Now, it seemed those odds were working in his favor. There was a chance that every other soldier would be too busy to notice if he came and went as he pleased from Sakura's rooms. A chance. Sasuke pulled his pack out from under the bed and set it atop his sheets.

Was that good enough for him?

* * *

"Lee, come now, you must make amends with her," Tenten urged him, pulling at his sleeve as they neared Sakura's quarters.

"Yes, Lee, you must," Ino pouted, teasing him, "Seeing as you've made such a mess of things."

"Have I really?" Lee blanched, "Has she said something?"

"Not a word," Ino giggled, "That is not like her. You must have really done it this time."

"Oh shush, do not torture him so," Tenten chastised Ino, "Simply apologize to her and all will be set right."

Sasuke stood back from the occasional crowds that bustled along the walkway as he watched Lee and a pair of Sakura's ladies approach her doors. He had every intent now, his pack slung over his shoulder, of returning to Sakura sooner than they had agreed, but found he was not the only one with that same urge.

A series of rapid knocks startled Sakura and she quickly shut the entrance to her bedroom, before racing to open the doors to her sitting room. Ino, Lee, and Tenten stood expectantly at the threshold, awaiting an invitation. Sakura peered over their shoulders before ushering them in, searching for the person she hoped would be at her doors instead.

"Sakura-san," Tenten spoke sweetly, "Are you all right? We have been so worried."

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered promptly, shutting the doors behind her and turning to face them, "Why?"

"Well, we haven't seen very much of you lately," Ino said plainly, "I know how greatly you value your privacy, but we were beginning to think something was bothering you."

When he didn't speak, Ino's elbow brushed Lee's side in a gentle nudge.

"Yes," he muttered gingerly, "Is something the matter?"

"Not at all," Sakura shook her head, oblivious.

"Well," Tenten laughed boisterously, "What a relief! Come, Ino, Karin will be expecting us."

She linked arms with Ino and began pulling her towards the doors.

"Yes, a relief," Ino's eyes darted to Lee several times before she finally turned to follow Tenten, "We should not keep her waiting. Good day, Sakura-san!"

The door shut with a loud bang that led way to a thickening silence, but Sakura cracked a smile as it dawned on her what her ladies were attempting to do.

"How sweet of them to worry," Sakura said with a simper, "How very thoughtful of them to come down here in this weather, _simply_ to tell me that they held concern for my wellbeing."

"Yes," Lee had difficulty meeting her gaze. He shifted his feet and folded his hands behind his back.

Sakura's smile faltered; he truly felt remorse for the words he spoke to her. She could not tease him, she realized; it would not be fair.

"You do not need to apologize to me," guilt gnawed at her stomach as she spoke, "I should apologize for being so cross with you."

"No," finally he looked at her and the hope in his eyes pulled at her heart, "I was out of line. I - I should not have said such a thing. It was - "

"A mistake," Sakura amended, "We both made a mistake."

"Yes," Lee sighed, relieved, but Sakura felt as though a noose were tightening around her neck, "I know you are not capable of such things. I know you are honorable and selfless."

"I am not - "

"You are," he insisted, stepping closer to her, "In my own jealousy I was blinded by reason. Uzumaki-san is a fine man, I am grateful for his services. But I could not help feeling envious that he was awarded your attention," Lee laughed at himself, "I suppose I felt neglected."

Sakura bowed her head to hide her shame. His words were causing her blood to run cold.

"I am sorry if I have been thoughtless as of late," she said softly.

"No, do not be sorry. You must be so distraught without your father. _I_ am sorry for causing you unnecessary strain," he sounded so sincere as he spoke, but Sakura still could not bring herself to look into his eyes, fearful of what lay there.

"Lee-san, you speak so considerately of me."

"It is because I know you!" he insisted, "I know you are so much more than you present to the world."

"You should not presume such things," she murmured.

"I am certain of it," he continued.

"How?" she challenged.

"Because I love you," Lee said it so simply that Sakura had to replay it in her mind over and over until the words sunk in. Her heart stopped as a cold grip took hold of her body. She began to shake her head, but stalled the motion. It took several gulping breaths before she could find the will to speak, and when she did, she lifted her head.

"Love is depraved," Sakura peered thoughtfully at him and noted the kindness that always seemed to reside in his eyes, "You are not depraved."

"Would you like me to be?"

"I would not ask you to be more or less than who you are."

"And yet I would be anything for you, change anything for you," he professed.

"You should not have to."

"But I would!" he insisted, advancing on her, taking her wrist boldly.

"You should not say these things so lightly," Sakura lowered her eyes from his intense gaze and pulled against his grip, but he stayed his hand.

"It is with the immeasurable weight you have placed on my heart that I utter these words to you," he pulled her hand against his chest, pleading though she could not see the desperation he held within him.

"I am sorry I have left this weight with you," she muttered, skin beginning to flush.

"No, you mustn't be sorry," he pleaded, "Without you I would not know love."

"You do not know it now," she flinched from her own words as she wrested herself free.

"How can you claim that?" he asked without accusation, only earnest.

"Love should not be spoken, it should be felt," she said sharply, unable to contain herself, "It is something shared, it is desire and anger, pain and suffering, and - ," she swallowed harshly, but was unable to quell her need to speak her next words, "And happiness - it is a bliss the Gods themselves could not conjure. It is not something that can be put into simple words, try though we might, because it is not a simple thing. Love," she lost her breath when she saw the look on his face, "You do not _love_ me, Lee. You cannot."

As the silence stretched, Sakura thought he might ask why, after all he opened his mouth to speak, but instead he turned from her and left her chambers.

* * *

Relief swelled within him when Sasuke saw Lee leave her quarters, and with a discouraged look on his face, as well. He waited until Lee had walked a good distance away before approaching her doors. He knocked only twice and the entrance flung open, an aggravated expression on Sakura's face greeting him. But then it softened as she realized who stood before her.

"Sasuke-kun," she breathed a sigh of relief and pulled him into her sitting room, taking care to lock the doors behind her. The area was dark, except for the fireplace that crackled; she had pulled the curtains over the windows. Fear gripped Sasuke for the briefest moment as he set his pack down.

"Did he do something to you?"

"No," she turned from him and began a pace as she spoke, "But, Lee has told me he loves me."

She did not look up to see his reaction, though Sasuke had grit his teeth and clenched his good fist. He could not speak, for what could he possibly say to that? What did she want him to say? Lee came from a noble family of good standing and fine breeding. It was easy to picture him beside Sakura, but it was a truth, Sasuke thought, that was very difficult to swallow.

"Why must you tell me this?"

"Because I am afraid!" Sakura exclaimed, coming to face him, her eyes brimming with tears, "I am terrified of what this means. If he decided to pluck up the courage to propose to me, he would have my mother and father's blessings in a heartbeat. And what am I to do then?"

"You would accept his proposition," Sasuke answered with a forced monotone.

"How can you say such a thing?" she searched his eyes, those endless black pools that threatened to swallow her every time, "How can you look at me like that and say those words?"

"What else am I to say, Sakura?" he became exasperated, holding his hand out as if she could offer him some manifestation of a solution to all of their problems, "I am nothing to your family. And if they knew who I truly was then I would be less than nothing to them."

He softened when he saw the tears begin to fall down her cheeks. His good hand reached for her neck to pull her close and she wrapped her arms around him. She took a shaky breath, frustrated.

"I do wish you would do as you please - with me, at least," she whispered.

"How do you mean?" they pulled apart slightly, only so they could look into the other's eyes.

"If you wish to kiss me, I wish you would do it," her voice grew stronger, "And if you wish to touch me, then I wish you would touch me. I wish you would touch me as one does a lover," he did not flinch when she said that, "I wish you would ravish me, raze my skin, my very soul with your hands; for I am yours and no one else's," his heart swelled as she said those words, but all he could do was look at her, "Sasuke-kun, I know you are tempted, too."

She stepped back from him and pulled her hair free from its bun. Her long rosy tendrils fell around her in single wave. Her fingers began making quick work of the buttons at the front of her robes, shedding each layer of dress until she stood bare before him. The hitch in his breath and the slip of his gaze did not go unnoticed by her. She took up his good hand as she stepped toward him and raised it to touch her breast. Without her command his fingers tightened slightly.

"Was it not pleasant?" she gasped.

"What?" his throat was dry, scorched by his desire for her.

"When you touched me like this?" her hands went to his chest to unzip his vest. She began to tremble when his thumb brushed her nipple, "When you put your lips upon me, was it not pleasant?"

"It was," he affirmed; Kami, it was.

"It is just us now," his hand slipped below her breast to follow the curve of her waist, "You may touch me as you please, you may touch me without consequence - "

"Sakura - "

"Who would find out?" she challenged him, "More than half the army resides with my father and the others are either sleeping or posted elsewhere. And what's more, the only two keys to my chambers reside with the only two people occupying this room."

To that, he could not argue. He pulled her body against his, claiming her lips in a kiss that demanded they share everything they had to offer. Sakura was all too eager to oblige. With great care not to disrupt their kiss and difficulty with his sling, Sakura removed his upper layers. The touch of bare skin spurred them into movement as they quickly broke away to retreat to her bedroom.

Sasuke urged her to lay back on the sheets as he kissed a path down her neck. He relied solely on his good arm to support himself while his lips moved to her breasts, to press light, teasing kisses upon her skin. Sakura's breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes at the sensation of his tongue meeting her nipple. But as soon as he bestowed that pleasure on her, he took it away, coming to sit back on his heels. Though, just as quickly, his fingers began inching up her thigh. Sakura's heart quickened merely at the prospect of what he might do.

"I have wanted this for longer than you know," he admitted. She opened her eyes in time to catch the lascivious glint in his as he spoke.

"Your self control is admirable," her breath hitched before she could continue when his thumb brushed over her clit.

"But you do not care for it, do you?" Sasuke teased with a smirk. She shook her head, at a loss for words when he circled her entrance. As he slipped a finger inside, she gasped and clutched the sheets beneath them, "I thought not."

His finger curled and retreated only to invite a second to further his torment of her. Her warm, tight walls clutched him desperately as she cried out. He moved closer to her, continuing the rhythm of his fingers, and passed his tongue along her wet cunt. Sakura released the sheets, her hands flying to his hair to twist and urge him on, but he pulled away. She whimpered and bit her plump bottom lip in frustration. Her hair was already mussed from her slight writhing on the bed, her cheeks flushed with passion, her eyes alight with desire and longing.

She was breathtaking.

"How you break for me," he whispered, the words falling sinfully from his tongue. He thumbed the waistband of his pants and Sakura's gaze dropped, as if she dared him to rid himself of the obtrusive garment.

"Do you intend to keep me on the edge like this?"

"Only so you might know how it feels," his eyes darkened as he unbuttoned his pants and slid down the zipper, "Every moment I am with you, every moment that I cannot _touch_ you is an endless torment."

"Then you are always at the chasm of satisfaction?" she questioned with a coy smile, moving to kneel on the bed before him. She hooked her fingers in the belt loops of his trousers and pulled down. His cock fell free, thick and swollen with his own need for her. He cupped her chin and lifted her eyes to his.

"Always."

* * *

"Another letter from the Hokage, My Lady. It has just arrived."

The Empress extended her hand gingerly to receive the envelope. She turned it over carefully, examining the seal imprinted in the crimson wax. She paused, her finger at the seam, ready to tear it.

"Is there a reason you are still here?" Mebuki questioned, without raising her eyes to the messenger who stood just behind her guards.

"The Hokage has requested I await your response, Your Highness. I am not to return until I have it," the messenger stammered slightly, taken aback by her directness.

She did not respond, she only broke the seal and unfolded the parchment as she removed it:

 _To the Esteemed Ruler of our Great Lands,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well, as I am afraid I did not receive a response to my most recent proposition. I understand you must be quite occupied, but I am certain it is the same thing that keeps us up at night. The Akatsuki have devastated our provinces for too long now and together I am assured we can forge a stronghold that even the most fearsome of enemies could not penetrate. Though, I am forced to take your lack of correspondence as refusal. Once more I offer you this proposal; your daughter is of a reputable age and I have no doubt you shall want her to marry for privilege and for the bastion of your rule. I offer this to you as a last chance to fortify our households against the Akatsuki. Should you refuse, then, I daresay, you will be left to your own depleted military resources._

 _With my best regards,_

 _\- Hokage of the Provinces of Konoha_

Mebuki folded the parchment down and took a deep breath. She stood from her husband's desk and took a steady pace to the fire. She gripped the mantle in one hand and crushed the letter in the other, then threw it into the flames below. She steadied herself before she spoke.

"You may tell your Hokage that if he wishes to insult my family with such propositions he should do it in my presence, as any proper man would. He is too busy, no doubt, hiding behind his walls for the fear he holds for my husband. I do not blame him for that, surely he knows where the allegiances of our people rest," Mebuki stalked back to the desk, her footsteps emphasizing the finality of her words. She placed her hands flat against the wood, "I would sooner trust a child with the fate of our nation than I would that deranged man."

The messenger stood rigid in his place, awaiting another onslaught of defamation of his Hokage, but it did not come.

"That is all," Mebuki took her seat and resumed her previous task, looking over the papers littered on her desk, "Escort him out."


End file.
